The Willies (1990)

The WilliesFrom the description, it sounds like a scarier version of Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark. In reality, it's just a badly made, cruel and disgusting movie which for some strange reason got a PG-13 rating. I should have turned it off after the dog in the microwave, but since I like to torture myself I continued watching it.The worst part is probably the second story, about the creepy kid who pulls wings off of flies. To me, it looked like they actually did it for real. I'm not a member of lunatic groups like PETA etc, but to torture even the smallest insects just for entertainment is wrong. And this movie is made in 1990, you would think they could fake a scene like that.The Willies feels like it's made by a sadistic nine-year old. It's not scary, it has no message, no likable characters...it's just scene after scene of cruelty against people and animals. I wonder why people make movies like this.Avoid this garbage.

This is one of those movies that's so campy you can't help but laugh at it, but at the same time, the kid-audience orientation of the movie almost justifies some of the campyness... like, the acting is definitely on par for what a kid-tailored movie would look like, but there are so many weird little faux pas that make me also think it's just a movie that's so bad it'd good. There are a lot of things you see that may be interesting as a thought, but when executed in filming are not so great (like that weird plastic spider hanging down in the fly kid's basement while he is working... it's obviously fake, but has no purpose anyway).

I was about 20 when I first saw this, and I recently hunted down an old used rental VHS online because I wanted to see it again. Out of the short skits at the beginning I especially enjoy the old man's performance in the one about the "Haunted Mansion" ride, though the skit itself is rather lackluster. And something about the poodle skit bothers me: the dog was wearing a collar with a metal tag, why didn't that react to the microwaves? Have *you* ever put something with even a tiny trace of metal in a microwave? It starts flashing and sparking and catching fire instantly and there's this awful smell...Yeah I know, I probably wasn't supposed to even think about that. Nevermind the fact that the dog was *dry* after the lady supposedly just gave it a bath.As for the two main stories: I greatly dislike the Monster in the Bathroom. It *may* have made a decent short story if written right, but on screen it's just deplorable, in my opinion. All of the adult actors give a decent enough performance, but every single child in that skit couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. *Especially* the completely unlikable main character, which makes it even more sad. I did however enjoy the kids' nickname for Miss Titmarsh: "Miss Breastswamp," I believe it was.However, I have a big soft spot for the Tale of Gordy Belcher. Now *that's* good stuff. Great storyline, and good acting all around (with the possible exception of that blonde girl at Gordy's school). Love the manure guy, and Gordy's dad is so real, with his harping on his son to stop being "weird". Watch the dinner scene, and see if you can relate. I definitely could.The "bookend" storyline, with the three kids in the tent, was a big yawn-fest though (with the notable exception of the excellent Goonies reference.) I *do* recommend this film, though mostly for the Tale of Gordy Belcher.

This movie starts out with kids telling each other urban legends such as the poodle in the microwave and getting something extra at a chicken place. Unfortunately, it then turns to your basic anthology movie. The first being about a janitor with a bit of a secret. This one is okay at best. Then it gets worse as the next story about this kid obsessed with dead flies is on and it goes on and on and on. It is way to long and not all that interesting to begin with. After that you get the typical shock scene and it ends. You need more than this in an anthology movie. You need at least three stories and one shouldn't be so long it becomes dreadfully uninteresting especially considering you can see how it is going to end a mile away.