Dark Shadows (2012)

I love the story writing and concepts, and even the idea behind it being dryly funny, but Burton is clearly struggling with control. Too square to be subversive and too lame to be funny, it's a fish-out-of-water macabre-comedy that's as pale as a man who sleeps in a coffin when compared to much better films (What We Do in the Shadows). A decent climax, nice gothic visuals, and Eva Green giving her all still can't bring life to this thing.

I wanted to like this film so much but it suffers from so much clutter. The only character that gets enough screen time is Barnabus and while the story is supposed to focus on some kind of love developing between he and Victoria she gets very little developmental. Many characters are wasted - such as Roger and Dr. Hoffman - and whether intentional or not given the soap opera background the acting was far too over the top by actors that are supposed to be amazing, ie Depp and Pfeiffer. It's sad when the children are the only ones who turn out a good performance though I must say Eva Green didn't disappoint. It's just too bad that her decent performance is muddled with ridiculous attempts at being comedic such as the sex scene with Barnabus. Going along with that it seems as if Burton only made Barnabus into a killing and screwing machine (what was the purpose of the bj the doc gave him again?) whose intent to see his family thrive and his curser squirm was just an afterthought rather than a driving force. Everything in this film felt so misplaced and rushed. The comedic timing was awful. The only reason I'm not dropping a point off my rating is because the end fight was actually entertaining (though we had to suffer to get to it) and the technical aspects were decent. After having Victoria willing to kill herself for the vampire we never actually saw her fall in love with (rush, rush, rush) and then taken over by the ghost of Barnabus' old love I wanted to just drop the rating even lower for the sheer stupidity, but I'm being fair here. If only this film were more fair to its audience.

Even John Depp can't save this one. I am assuming that you are somewhat familiar with the other previous versions. Most of the beginning is straight "historic" story-telling and it is riveting. The chain-wrapped coffin of Barnabas Collins is found in a construction site. After 200 years of imprisonment, Barnabas drains 11 victims in no time. He proceeds to Collinswood Mansion after first walking through town, seeing the club scene in 1974. He tells only a select few that he is the real thing, vampire and all. To the others he is their distant English cousin. All the familiar characters are there including Willie Loomis, who doesn't have as much to do in this version but he becomes Barnabas' servant as always. Angelique the Witch never died, and she runs the "Angel Bay" fisheries which is the more successful cannery as the Collins family is the poor second cannery and has lost it's former glory. Dr. Hoffman is along to to try and alter Barnabas (and her own) bloodwork. As always, Victoria and Josette are played by the same young girl. "Vicky" is the reincarnation of Barnabas' lost love. The first half is not too bad, but then the story gets choppy, sloppy, and uneven. Angelique and Barnabas have a steamy love scene, Alice Cooper guests at a "Happening" party which falls flat. Then all "Hell" breaks loose. The witch entombs him and little David saves him. There is a huge Witch Vs. Vampire fight-to-the-death, and eventually both the cannery and the great house burn-to-the-ground. There of course is a lot more going before this, involving werewolves, ghosts, and Barnabas arrested for the murder of Dr. Hoffman. She betrayed him so he killed her and drank her blood. Way too "campy" in the 2nd half and choppy editing, although some of that could be for "running time". The soundtrack is horrible and includes "Carpenters" Songs. Finally, they get it right at the end as Vicky takes a swan dive off the watery breakers at the cliff. She dies and the spirit of Josette is restored to life. Barnabas falls with her and is restored to human form! A very financially successful film in spite of itself!

The Collins family moved to Maine in the 1750s and prospered until Barnabas Collins spurns the advances of Angelique Bouchard… a witch who curses him and his family. She causes the death of Barnabas's parents then causes his true love Josette DuPres to throw herself off a cliff. Barnabas tries to end his own life but the curse causes him to become a vampire. The townspeople place him in a coffin and bury him. Almost two centuries later, in 1972, construction workers dig him up and he returns home. He finds that the curse is still affecting the remaining members of his family who have fallen on hard times. He is determined to help them return to their rightful place in society but Angelique is still around and she is still determined to make Barnabas suffer.When I watched this film I'd not even heard of the original TV show so didn't have too much idea what to expect beyond what it said on the DVD's case. I think having no preconceived ideas may have helped as I rather enjoyed it. Johnny Depp does a fine job as Barnabas; he isn't too scary for younger viewers even when killing various people. These deaths aren't dwelt on and are filmed in a way that makes them almost comic. The rest of the cast are pretty good too; notably Eva Green who plays Angelique, a character that is both seductive as well as unpleasant; Helena Bonham Carter is delightfully over the top as the family psychiatrist; Michelle Pfeiffer does a good job as family matriarch Elizabeth and Chloë Grace Moretz impresses as her teenage daughter Carolyn. Bella Heathcote also impresses as Victoria Winters, the apparently normal young woman who serves to introduce us to the family by moving in as the new governess… although it is clear that she isn't quite what she seems. The idea of a strange family living in an imposing mansion will inevitably remind many viewers of 'The Addams Family' but this bunch are distinctly more dysfunctional. The '70s setting provided a good excuse for a retro soundtrack and even a cameo from singer Alice Cooper which was all rather fun. Overall I rather enjoyed this even if the final confrontation was a bit too much of a cliché. While it isn't a must see film I'd recommend it to fans of director Tim Burton or of any of the main cast.