Yellowbeard (1983)

This movie, though muddled a bit, should still remain a must for Monty Python fans. Icing on the cake with this film is the outstanding performance by Madeline Kahn. It is also memorable for the inimitable Marty Feldman, as this was his last film and of course in which he is a standout. The script for the most part is clever, as is to be expected. It is the final cut that lends itself to some scenes (i.e., at Portsmouth, or later at sea) that are too drawn out and too laborious in construct. Unfortunately, as one of the script's authors, Chapman was reportedly ignored when it came to final editing. Cheech and Chong, while comic legends now and innovative for their time, do over- emote in all of their scenes, but amusingly enough this is most humorously addressed in the script itself in the dialogue during a momentous battle scenario. If you love the original Pythons -- which include Chapman, Idle and Cleese, then as a devotee you owe it to yourself to see this movie (if you haven't already!). Plus it has a shortened blood-squirt scene reminiscent of the Black Knight in Python's Holy Grail film. Another plus is Peter Cook in the movie, former comedy partner of Dudley Moore, but somewhat understated and underutilized as a comedic romantic foil to Chapman's Yellowbeard. This should probably be added to the movie collection of any Python fan, as it captures comedy moments that are classic yet past.

Yellowbeard, a pirate's pirate, is allowed to escape from prison to lead the authorities to his treasure. He finds that his wife neglected to tell him that he now has a son, 20, and shame of shame, an intellectual. The British Navy, Yellowbeard, his son, and members of Yellowbeard's old crew all go after the treasure.....This is a weird movie, so many famous faces in this, but what a dire script and poor narrative, and in some scenes you can tell the actors are bemused and in utter bewilderment.Chapman manages to just about hold the thing together, he's way over the top whenever he is on screen, and for a man of his age he's very fast and animated. The rest of the cast though are poor, and spout their lines like well paid automatons.Apart from the cast, this has nothing whatsoever to do with Monty Python, its very leftfield, but not amusing, has an eclectic array of characters, but no script. So if you are a fan of Python, you will be sorely disappointed.

Finally! A pirate film even worse than "The Pirate Movie!". Somebody must have spent hours watching every Three Stooges short in an effort to put together this miserably violent supposed comedy that has not one chuckle, chortle or guffaw. When you've got Madeline Kahn, Cheech and Chong, Marty Feldman and John Cleese and can't get one laugh, you know you're in trouble. Add on veterans Peter Boyle, Beryl Reed, James Mason, Susannah York and Peter Cook who seem to be really desperate for work here, given the most humiliating lines and revoltingly sexist gags.It all concerns a search for abandoned pirate treasure, the map tattooed on the title character's head to the island where it was dropped off. Non-sensical in structure and filled with offensive references to rape, prostitution and decapitation, this is a disaster for all concerned. The most obvious abuse of talent comes with Madeline Kahn who strains for even a grin (although she makes me wonder through her performance how she would have been as "Sweeney Todd's" Mrs. Lovett or "Les Miserables'" Madame Thenardier) and James Mason who ruins any assemblance of dignity reflected by his more than 40 years of film credits with this one bomb.The bosoms of the ladies of all ages (including the matronly Reid who is defiled by the title character in one tactless scene, fortunately out of view from the camera) are pushed up to the max. Among the few slightly amusing gags (which didn't get laughs, only slight ironic smiles) include a prostitute hidden in an alligator carcass to get aboard Mason's men-only ship, and the reaction to a bratty little girl who gets a well-deserved kick. Other than that, this is a pirate movie that deserves to remain permanently hidden forever in Davey Jones' locker.

I'm a big fan of Monty Python, and as soon as I heard about this little known movie I wanted to check it out. It turns out that it was pretty entertaining! Although it's not nearly on the same level of genius as other MP movies, there are a lot of little funny details throughout the movie. The thin plot revolves around everyone trying to get their hands on Yellowbeard's legendary treasure. Gags ensue. Oddly enough, it works. Graham Chapman is hilarious in his role as a blood-thirsty pirate and so is Eric Idle... But the true star of this film is Marty Feldman (Igor from Young Frankenstein). His character is similar to Igor's, but he steals every scene he's in. There's also a really funny cameo with David Bowie.I certainly do not agree with John Cleese that this was the worst movie he's ever been in. He's been in a lot of movies much worse than this one, and actually, his character here is pretty interesting and even funny.The plot is more or less of a Pirates of The Caribbean meets Monty Python, and it was interesting enough to keep me watching. I thought this was better than Jabberwocky and (although it is much sillier) it also reminded me a bit of Erik The Viking.Cheech & Chong are here and they are disappointing as Spaniards. Chong has a incredibly annoying lisp and his accent just doesn't work, let's say, as opposed to Michael Palin's hilarious performance in 'Life of Brian'. Cheech has an easier time since he's Hispanic, but their roles are simply unfunny, like much of their regular work. That's probably because wasn't any hemp in this movie (aside from the ones on Yellowbeard's hair!) Maybe they should have played stoned pirates or something like that.I was really surprised that this movie didn't suck. Sure, it's not a work of art or a must-have for Monty Python / Cheech & Chong fans. But chances are, if you're just expecting to have some mindless fun, this movie will do the trick. Just turn off your brain and enjoy. 6/10