Stan Helsing (2009)

Cheesy, drawn out, cheap, not funny. Film either tries too much or not enough and never meets a happy median.

Out of 2100 movies watched. I would rate this as the worst pure, utter bullshit I've ever seen. (Haven't watched vampires suck yet.) The script seemed to be written along the way, Acting, Costumes and effects are among the most ridiculously bad someone could possible do.They used the name, the genre to make money. It's the only ambition and reason people who made it had.I honestly wonder if the director himself even would/have watch/ed the movie more than 1 time..To sum it up, avoid at all cost. Watch only if you are a huge movie nerd, or want to see how to absolutely not!!, make a movie.

again i was talked into watching a movie that was bad. i don't really have any positive comments, only negative ones. its basically just a load of cultural and horror movie references thrown together in a thin story from a bad road movie. my main critique is the cultural and horror movie references. first of all, cultural references ARE NOT FUNNY, and they get dated really quick. the horror movie references are done pretty lame and cheap. they just took some well known characters and changed their appearance a bit, as well as changing some scenes from a few horror movies. the plot is really really bad and so messed up that i couldn't follow the story. they just go from one location to another, without making any sense. the only positive i have to say is that i had 1 or 2 giggles, they used a Johnny cash song and the movie is only 90min (thanks god for that). i will only recommend this movie to you, if you are really stoned, drunk or retarded (no offence for any retarded)

Oh dear Christ almighty! Van Helsing was pretty much a spasticated spoof as it was. Stan Helsing is a dedicated cluster fck of comedic incompetence. We see the ancestor of Van Helsing having to fight against a series of slasher spoofs. If the idea of Michael Myers (now called Mikey) wearing a yarmulke makes you laugh then a) you're a fricking idiot that should have been aborted and b) you might like this crap. The only reason to keep watching this is Diora Baird, literally couldn't take my eyes off her. The only 'joke' worth commenting on is the Michael Jackson pisstake. This shows that somewhere lay some comical balls of steel, or they stupidly forgot to edit it out. Probably the latter. It's a shame this was one of Nielson's last films, as it is quite the embarrassment.