Dead in Tombstone (2013)

I have to admit that Death in Tombstone is an interesting take on the American western. There are not too many westerns out there that incorporate the way of the West with Satan calling the shots. Unfortunately, not even the blood and guts performance of Danny Trejo and Mickey Rourke's creepy take on the Evil One can rescue this film from going to Hell. With a better script, more talented actors, and improved direction, this film might have had great results.

Dead in Tombstone (yes that Tombstone, as in OK Corral) has Mickey Rourke, Danny Trejo, Dina Meyer, and Anthony Michael Hall; so someone might be tempted to watch it because of them but just swallow that temptation and don't. I'm guessing they agreed to this in lieu of paying gambling debts. They put about as much effort into "Tombstone" as they might asking for a donut. Except Danny Trejo who is all in, probably because this movie gives him more dialog than all his other movies combined and you'll soon figure out why those other movies were right and this one is wrong. If you are really curious what it is about, Danny Trejo leads a group of outlaws that double cross him for gold. (the real Tombstone had a silver mine, not gold, but whatever) Mickey Rourke plays Satan and gets a lot of bad lines which he delivers with mild boredom. A.M. Hall is the "bad" bad guy. Dina Meyer is the sheriff's wife. About the only notable thing about D.i.T. is that bodies just disappear from the shot moments after people are killed, it's so obvious it's bizarre. There is no reason as far as I could tell other than sloppy movie making.

Dead on Arrival, this DTV Movie is just Awful. Once again They hire an Epileptic Cameraman that is in Denial. The Vision is that anything is not worthy of being On Screen unless it is a Shaky Whip-Pan and Quick Cut. This results in Motion Sickness. Please, Hollywood take notice. Stop this Immediately. It does not and never has been anything but annoying. But yet it is used again and again even in Mega-Budget Action Movies. Listen Up from Outside the Bubble. It is not energetic or adrenaline inducing, it is Nauseating.This Movie suffers from much more than that. Mickey Rourke's Dialog seems Dubbed by a Line Reader with absolutely no Ability to do anything except Read Lines. The Intriguing Premise is totally Mishandled in what could have been an Exciting Genre Bending Movie.It is a Colorless Palette with nothing but Blacks and Bluish High Contrast. The whole Thing looks like a Video Game that Flopped. There is nothing here to Recommend and Fans of the Cult Favorite, Danny Trejo will check in only to find that this is nothing more than a commendable effort lost in a Wilderness of Woefulness.

To all the fans of this genre or the actors involved in the making of this film; I have this to say, "This one will hurt, and not in a funny way, don't do it to yourselves."Do yourself a favor and miss this film. It tarnishes the good memories we have of these actors with its lackluster existence. This films Tombstone should read;"Killed by the epic mediocrity of Director Roel Reiné."If you truly love watching Danny Trejo, no matter how bad the film he is in, or seeing Mickey Rourke deliver lines as if he was trying to understand a sign language interpreter; even if Anthony Michael Hall can do no wrong in your heart, this is not something you want to see. It seriously damaged my respect for just about everyone involved in making it come to life. I am a film editor, cinematographer and even worked as a Zombie stuntman. So, film, and especially cheesy low budget film is an area of expertise for me. I even have the honor of teaching a film class, "Aesthetics of Editing". So if you got this far, at least you know now I am not just some film bashing wingnut; some jerk with no idea how film is made, why it is good, bad or meh.