Schoolgirl Report Part 4: What Drives Parents to Despair (1972)

The very long title here already tells us that this is the fourth entry from the West German "Schulmädchen" film series and it was far from the last. This series is closely connected to the German sexual awakening in the 1970s and director Ernst Hofbauer worked on several of the others too. The runtime is between 80 and 90 minutes and this is the usual too. The worse about the film may be the opening monologue as we find out how this film takes itself so seriously, but it has absolutely no right to do so. The quality here is abysmal at times. You cannot really blame the actors and actresses as they are obviously no professionals, but using amateurs to make this look close to reality and authentic entirely backfired in this very case. This film is maybe a decent watch if you are really horny as the girls in here all look like models, which is also not realistic and you get to see full frontal at times, breasts almost always from every female character. It is once again a collection of smaller stories that have no real connection with one another, so you could also call it a collection of short films. The topics are really controversial for the 1970s (incest, rape, race) and that is probably why people were curious about it too. It certainly could not have been because of this being a cinematic achievement of any kind, because it is far far away from that level. Actually, there is absolutely nothing interesting in here except the clumsy takes at controversy. Highly not recommended and this series went far far longer than it should have.

Schoolgirl Report #4 (1972) *** (out of 4) Fourth film in the popular German series once again passes itself off as a documentary on teenage sexuality but in reality it's just another excuse to exploit sex and nudity, which is never a bad thing. We get another large group of stories ranging from a high school girl seducing her teacher to a sexual offender passing himself off as a school doctor in order to see girls naked. Also on hand is a black woman in a racist school who gets raped by some girls who want to see why men would want her. Another sequence has Euro legend Christina Lindberg playing a poor girl who has to share her bedroom with her older brother and soon finds herself having sexual fantasies over him. These stories are just some of the new ones on display here so if you enjoyed the first three in the series, as I did, then you should enjoy what's offered up here. The perverted nature is certainly on high alert as the stories here are all rather bizarre. We have the ones, like the stuff with race, that tries to be serious. We also get some that are so over the top that you can't help but laugh and the one with the doctor is the perfect example of this. We also have a nice comical story where girls start a hooker ring just to raise some money for their friend. There's no question this thing is sexploitation at its finest but if you're going to be easily offended then it's probably best to stay away. For others just looking for cheap fun then this fourth film once again delivers the goods. Fans of Lindberg are certainly going to want to check this out even though of all the women here she's probably dressed the most. There's no question she's a beautiful woman and that's never a bad thing.

I saw several of these daft, wonderfully 70s, "Schoolgirl Reports", many years ago, and I think this one is the most fun. If you're looking for retarded (very) soft porn, which almost comes off as comedy, then you really cannot do any better than this. Narrated by a guy who sounds like a pervert who wants to fool the audience by trying to be on his best behavior (i.e. without the usual heavy panting), this little anthology has only one drawback: it's only 70 minutes long. Part of what makes these stories fun and not dull is the cretinous, bizarre dialogue.It starts off with a typical male fantasy about a flat-chested but otherwise solid-looking German student who offers her body to her maths teacher as a bribe to save her dismal grades. The middle-aged teacher is (but of course) totally shocked and quite reluctant to jump onto the nearest table and take advantage of what would normally be the offer of his life. It's only due to her persistence (and him having consulted with his twixt-the-legs member) that he finally caves in. He has hot German sex with the trollop, falls in love with her, but after she'd received her fixed A grade, she dumps the prof like a cold potato.The next story is a "let's play doctor" type of thing. A perverted 50-ish-looking man goes door-to-door, seeking out intellectually-dead females whom he then sexually molests, all the while pretending to be a doctor who is just examining their bodies because of an "epidemic outbreak". And because this movie is a male fantasy like any other porn (hard, soft, or very soft), the "good" doctor has great success: he finds a pretty redhead who let's a total stranger into her flat, undresses for him within a minute of him entering, and then moans with pleasure as he inserts his "thermometer" inside her. At that point she asks "can you leave your thermometer with me?". He responds: "Sorry, I can't. I need it myself, I've only got one". Or something like that... You get the picture. And to think so many guys go to medical school just to get to watch women undress for them! They should have paid more attention to "Die Schulmaedchereportagenfilme", and realized that it only takes to press a door-bell, and any fantasy can come true! Of course, provided that you can find women as retarded and as nymphomaniac as these very fictional and unreal German floozies...The narrator grimly informs us that the "doctor" succeeded 42 times with this shtick! No wonder: in the world of "Schulmaedchenreportagen" all young women are either sexually twisted succubii, or totally naive Heidis from the Alps that have never heard of or even seen sex(ual organs) in their lives. (The middle aged and older people are, naturally, either totally repelled by the very thought of sex or are the very innocent victims of the sex-starved, cartoonishly decadent German Lolitas.) The third installment even has an anti-racism message! But that is typical of this series: the phony "social relevance" of these stories is constantly underlined by the sleazy narrator, lest we commit the foolish error of thinking that this is mere harmless sexploitation fare. The story, complete with a prototype 70s women-bathing-together segment, is about a black woman that is envied/hated by her female German peers to the extent to which they trap her by inviting her to a party just so they can all sexually degrade her. (It ain't easy bein' black in ol' Germany...) The following story is just a plot-less teen party, with an extreme obese girl telling everyone that she can get laid any time she wants. Then there is some dull stuff, then another male fantasy about four extremely sex-starved girls who practically rape a clownish moron on a beach. After that is a very silly story about an 18 year-old girl who falls in love with her 19 year-old brother (more like 25), with whom she shares a room. The narrator informs us that the two "live with their parents in a three-bedroom flat". The sleazoid obviously knows his maths just as bad as the dumb bimbo from the first story, otherwise he would have realized that three rooms are enough for each of the siblings to have their own room (the parents being in one, obviously... or is it common in Germany to cram all the kids (whatever few that they have) into one room, while the mother and father each have their own sleeping/living quarters?). The actress that plays the incestuous harlot is one of the best-looking in the movie. Watch and laugh as she ever-so-casually spies on her brother as he undresses...

This movie is a fake documentary on the sexual habits of teenagers/college age youth. The deep, newscaster-like voice of the narrator leads us through a series of vignettes, with different actors. The first deals with a girl who wants to trade sex for grades, which seems sort of cliche. In another episode, a black girl and her white boyfriend deal with their classmates' racism. There are a few other mini-plots, all with the requisite nudity and implied sex. The episodes focus on one or two characters who undergo a sort of 1 dimensional coming-of-age process. The fantastic, kitschy soundtrack is by Gert Wilden and his orchestra. A lot of his "Schulmadchen" hits seem to come from this movie. Also known as 'Campus Swingers'. The title translates as 'what drives parents to despair'. I never knew Germans could be so hip!