Gwendoline (1985)

From the director of Emmanuelle (who has the best name a softcore pornographer could possibly have) comes this bizarre, nonsensical fantasy/adventure/comedy starring a nubile Tawny Kitaen. She ships herself to China in a crate so she can find her father, who disappeared looking for a rare butterfly. Accompanied by partner Zabou and hunky adventurer Brent Huff, they journey through a bunch of cheap-looking locations until they arrive at the lost city of Cheops, which is populated by an Amazonian tribe of women known as the Yik Yak. This is the mentally disabled descendant of Barbarella. It barely makes sense from one minute to the next. Yet I could not look away. Well, I mean, Tawny Kitaen, meow. And, Hell, I might like the Olive Oyl-ish Zabou even better. The production design is majestic in its moronic cheapness. If it weren't so dull up front, I'd give it a higher recommendation, but I ultimately enjoyed it.

Gwendoline, from 'Emmanuelle' director Just Jaeckin, is an erotic comic-book action adventure (think Indiana Jones crossed with Barbarella, only with more nudity) wherein a gorgeous but innocent young woman (played by 80s rock-babe Tawny Kitaen) teams up with a roguish riverboat captain (Brent Huff) to locate her father, a scientist who went missing while looking for a rare butterfly in the hostile land of Yik-Yak.A one-time fashion photographer, Jaeckin is more than capable of capturing a striking image, whether it be a beautiful vista, the sensuous curves of a woman, or the surreal sight of a bald, naked Amazonian chick being sucked up an down an industrial pipe, but he fails dismally at telling a story, either as writer or director. His terrible script is hampered by dreadful dialogue (not helped by a wooden cast) and his handling of many scenes, most notably the action, leaves much be desired, being unimaginatively executed and ultimately rather lifeless.Despite all of this, however, the film still manages to be a reasonably entertaining experience—partly due to the silliness of the whole thing, partly because of the often excellent production design (much of which would not look out of place in a major Hollywood film) and some surprising violence, but mostly thanks to all of the S&M-laced nudity, especially from the lovely Kitaen, who can't act, but who has a great bod and isn't afraid to show it.

Yes, it's dumb, and campy, but if you're in the mood for brainless entertainment, this might fit the bill. It's an example of the schlock-action-boobs niche that actresses like Sybil Danning and Shannon Tweed were well known for in the 80's.The basic plot is an adventure that riffs heavily on the Indiana Jones motif, but it serves mainly to get the women to take their clothes off. Considering that the director was previously involved in "mainstream" porn like "Emmanuelle" (1974), "The Story of O" (1975), and "Lady Chatterley's Lover" (1981), this really shouldn't come as a surprise. This also helps explain the casting choices, as the female roles are filled with actresses who are lovely to see, but otherwise awful at acting.The single best part of this film is a sexy young Tawny Kitaen, prior to her days as the resident "babe" in Whitesnake music videos.

THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK (phew!) is a real guilty pleasure of mine. I like this movie a lot. In fact, I'll tell you the things I don't like first: the "upbeat" music is annoying (the one that they use during action scenes). The ending is too abrupt. The editing is very sloppy. Some of the dialogue IS infantile. And Bernadette Lafont is not my favorite French actress. That's it. I like the rest of this Just Jaeckin flick.The music, except for the annoying action bits, is excellent. The cast is uniformly attractive and game for all the S&M shenanigans. Tawny is perfectly cast and has that youthful, almost girlish charm about her that was needed for the role of Gwendoline. And I'm surprised Brent Huff's career didn't go anywhere after this. He's as good as any Ben Affleck (arf!). And the acting, as bad as it is, is perfect for this kind of movie. Don't except Meryl Streep acting in a story like this. I can't wait for GWENDOLINE to be on DVD, with widescreen presentation. It's a unique movie that they just don't make anymore and it's pure eye candy.