The Royal Siren (2010)

A German Medieval story remembering, in few points, "The Count of Monte Cristo". because it is a story about revenge. maybe about love. predactible, formal, part of a genre so well known than it has not surprises. confuse, remembering a sketch more than a story, but not real bad. because it has its fans and, maybe, not the film butAlexandra Neldel who seems reduce her performance at her simple presence.but it is not fair to judge it. only not have to high expectations. because it is a very familiar story, with specific acting and dialoges, in which the atmosphere is the only significant motif for see the film.

This is a five-year-old movie, which runs for exactly two hours and stars Alexandra Neldel as a restless prostitute who longs to get her innocence/virginity back. This says is basically all. And sadly, so many people wanted to see this that they made two more films to this day. Neldel is not a great actress at all and I doubt she'd be as famous without her looks. The again, I don't find her as stunning as everybody wants us to believe she is. Apart from her, there are a couple other mediocre television actors in here, but nobody really famous with the exception of Götz Otto perhaps. The film is based on a novel and if the novel is only half as badly written as this screenplay is there is really no reason at all to give it a read. But that is actually no surprise as the script writer here has mostly worked on cringeworthy Rosamunde Pilcher romance movies in the past. The film's director made "Barfuß bis zum Hals" before this, actually a pretty funny film, so it's sad to see him step as low as he did here.The story is as generic as it gets. The protagonist has to marry somebody she does not love and shortly after gets publicly humiliated for being promiscuous. There are so many embarrassing scenes and quotes in this movie. Early on, one would be where some guy stares at the main character's butt and the camera helps a lot. Or the way Neldel portrays her desire to become the king's whore after another whore told her it's possible. And in terms of quotes, there are many negative highlights. One would be: "Her lust was insatiable" or "Who does not like to play has not understood the concept of love." This film is really as pretentious as it gets. They tried so hard in making it serious and relevant, but the lack of talent is visible in every corner. Lots of whining, lots of nudity, lots of abuse etc. And when you think it could not get any worse, they close the film on a wide-spanning prostitute strike. Hilarious stuff really. Also, this film gives off a very anti-male message. apart from the main character's boring one-dimensional lover in the end, basically all men in this film are depicted as permanently horny scumbags. It's funny how this movie tries to be edgy frequently, for example with the crucifixion near the end. Or also with the priest who calls Neldel's character in one scene the ultimate sin. Hilarious. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry.

This German TV movie plays in the years 1414 and 1415 in Konstanz, Germany. Its story hails from a novel by Iny Lorentz with the same title. It is gripping and credibly presented. In spite of the relatively low budget of a TV production the settings look authentic, the acting is mostly excellent, and you have to excuse the somewhat artificial dialogues that are typical for German TV movies. The story moves from the house of a wealthy textile trader to a medieval jail, then to the travelling whores, to medieval pubs, and eventually into the houses of the gentry and to the king. Finally our heroine sets out to close the circle and move home. It is a grand story that has the potential to draw you in, that really needs all of the two hours to be told, and that is too rich to allow any slowness. The spoken language is German, and I am currently not aware of the availability of any foreign language dubs or subtitles.