Land of Doom (1986)

Yes there are a lot of bad films like this. Yet this still stands tall as a bad film even in bad company.This is a junior high school level Mad Max/Star Wars rip off. This kind of hybrid rip off/inspired pulp filmmaking was done my Turkish filmmakers for years with a crazy energy to equal some of the most mondo of Japanese and Italian movies. Sadly, though this features at least one Turkish star in a minor supporting role, this movie's "creative" force Maris doesn't have much of a clue about how to choose or direct actors or how to stage a fight scene or do action. The two leads both have U.S. TV credits and can't sustain any interest in a feature, the stunts could mostly be performed by your grandmother and done just as well. The pacing is lifeless the costumes and almost everything about it seems fake and thrown to together at the last minute. There are some large scale explosions--most of which seem to be big gas explosions and they hold off the shots long enough that you can see the explosion didn't really blow anything up.There is at least one scene of a bad guy screaming the hero's name in rage, so they don't forget to include that. The main villain is pretty skinny for a guy who is supposed to be a muscle man. He had a sort of Phantom of the Opera mask on half of his face and in his longest dialogue scene speaks with a lisp. Sadly this type of funny bad moment doesn't happen enough to make the film a guilty pleasure.The real life locations in Turkey's Capodocia are fascinating and only occasionally seen on film, but besides that this is a wasteland on all other levels. Best so-bad-it's-good element is the hilarious end title song and generally awful music score. How director Maris managed to keep making films after this I don't know, I'd hope he got better, but I haven't seen any of the rest to say for sure. But this is really badly done.I suppose the only other way to describe this film is to say it's the type of film CANNON did too often, only much worse than even the worst of those.It's a waste because if he had just gotten some better actors and then let some real Turkish directors make the film it could have been fun.Turkish pulp cinema is a vanished thing and this does give just a very small taste of what the world is missing. If you can only imagine this film done with energy and lots of stolen music from other films and even occasionally stolen footage you'd have some hint. Seek out the few remaining real Turkish pulp cinema. Sadly most of the films were destroyed to reclaim the silver used in the prints, at a time when pop culture films stopped being popular in Turkey

For some reason never explained, half of the earths population go mad and decide to wear leather for the rest of their lives.The others are either really bad European cannibal actors, or the posh one from AWOL (or Lionheart), and some bloke who is acting about ten years younger than he should be.These leather clad people pillage villages and just run about being downright rotters.Having seen Mad Max and any other post apocalyptic movie before 1985, the heroes go on a quest to defeat the uber-leather villain. We can single this guy out because he has the wild hair and a mask.It's pretty vile stuff, with no one really having a clue whats going on, just riding round with some weird frame on their bikes and cars looking foe something thats never explained.The writers couldn't have had a clue either, because the ending is just awful.The only reason why this film did not get a one from me is because it keeps you guessing as to how people are clean shaven and also how the lead keeps her hair looking so god....

I'm a longtime fan of cheezy foreign knock-offs of THE ROAD WARRIOR and such. Often times that kind of exploitive, badly dubbed, low budget trash makes for high entertainment. Sadly, LAND OF DOOM brings no such entertainment. It's the future again, and it's post-apocalyptic. The world is ravaged by plague and evil bandits (sound familiar?). A woman named Harmony and her rugged hero partner (she won't let him touch her) try to escape from the Land of Doom to a fabled paradise. Some overlord villain type, who wears a lot of fake chromed armor and studded leather, tries to stop them. The best part of the whole movie is the opening shot of a dawn over a bleak looking landscape, accompanied by some appropriate music- Harmony's explanatory narration begins and it's all down hill from there. Some creatures that look suspiciously like the Jawas from STAR WARS appear and some things explode. LAND OF DOOM is oddly short on the over-customized junk cars that usually roam the post-apocalyptic wastelands of these pictures. Naturally, all the dialogue is awful as are the attempts at sexual tension between our two heroes. Plague victims sport painted on sores and behave like zombies. Much more frightening is the ineptness of the production and the performances. The ending is left wide open for a sequel that never came. Over the end credits runs a horrid tune called "Harmony's Land of Doom" which tries to sound like a modern pop song, but is just as dull and low key as the movie. In short: skip it and rent 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS instead.

A low budget but good-looking US/Turkish MAD MAX 2 rip-off in which the hero this time is a woman who has a pathological hatred of all men - that is until she meets the charming and courageous male lead Anderson, who of course comes to make her love him. It's cheesy stuff to be sure, and although it follows very closely in the steps of MAD MAX 2 it cannot come close because the budget and cast and crew just aren't skilled enough. Although lacking, this American production (making a change from the usual slew of Italian imitations) has its moments and offers up plenty of action fun for undemanding fans.Director Peter Maris (who incredibly also directed the PHANTASMAGORIA horror video game back in the mid-'90s which was pretty popular) knows his roots but his direction, although he tries, is nothing above average. At least the film is in focus and well-lit at all moments, something that can't be said for those B-movies at the lower end of the spectrum. When somebody can create a near-professional look out of an almost-amateur production, they deserve credit.We're off to a good start with a well-choreographed attack on a small village by a gang of pillaging outlaws, who proceed to murder all the men and rape all the women. The only person to escape is Harmony, a man-hating female warrior armed with a nifty crossbow (which I don't think she actually shoots anybody with). Harmony is played by Deborah Rennard (A.W.O.L.), although it's clear her future lies more in the likes of American soap operas such as DALLAS. However, Rennard invests Harmony with a feisty hard edge, and is definitely someone you wouldn't want to mess with. It's good to see such a strong female role in a world in which the women are most often helpless victims (cf. any number of slasher films from the past two decades).At this point we are introduced to the myriad of villains, who all like to wear black hockey masks in the style of Jason Voorhees and who quite possibly have cornered the market in studded leather, as seemingly each and every one of them is dressed in this particular style of homoerotic outfit - sounds familiar huh? The chief villain is Slater, and we know he's the boss and not somebody to be messed with as he's got a mask on his face and a bionic arm to boot. Sadly the acting of these delinquents is pretty bad, but not the worst I've seen. The bad guys ride around on modified bikes with huge plastic fins at the front, vehicles also ripped from MAD MAX 2 except on a much smaller, cheaper scale.Harmony escapes from their clutches and makes her way to a cave in the mountains where she discovers the mortally wounded Anderson. He teams up with her for a long trek across the mountains in search of a new land, and soon forget about his apparently serious injuries! Anderson is played by Bruce Campbell look-alike Garrick Dowhen, and although he's not up to the jolly charm charisma that Campbell would bring to the role, Dowhen does fine as a low-rate imitation. Thus begin the many adventures that the pair have, forming a close bond all the while.Oh, and did I mention that the Jawas from STAR WARS make a surprise appearance too? What this film has to recommend it are mainly the authentic mountainous locations - filmed in Turkey no less! - which really give it a nice background on which the action can play out. Obviously this was shot out in the desert outskirts somewhere, and the frequently wonderful scenery adds a lot to the enjoyment of this movie. It's particularly impressive in a scene in which Rennard senses that she's being watched, and that eerie feeling successfully transfers to the viewer as well. There's plenty of light action to pass the time too; none of it is particularly violent (apart from those head-smashings!) or stylish but it's fun enough in a limited way.Sadly, where this film also lacks is in the special effects department - there aren't any. Most of the effects are limited to bloody make-up jobs on the various injured parties or gun-shot victims. One memorable scene shows a village exploding many times in which the explosions are repeated and shown from different angles. I guess it's pretty cheap to buy explosives and blow the heck out of a run down shack somewhere, but still at least this gives the impression of a big budget. The biggest example of this film's lack of budget comes at a scene where Anderson and Harmony are captured by the villains, who knock them off their bike by stretching a rope across the road. Obviously stunt actors couldn't be found for this stunt so we simply hear the sound effects instead.The movie is gore-free, apart from a singular brief moment of somebody having his fingers chopped off with an axe. The biggest disappointment of all comes in the anti-climactic ending, though, so steel yourselves for it. It very much looks like either things were left intentionally open for a sequel (which never happened) or that they just ran out of money filming suddenly and had to finish it quickly. I have to say that it's unforgivable to end a movie in such a way, with most of the bad guys surviving and the good guys making a hasty getaway. Surprising too, but in a bad way. However, I am an undisclosed fan of these MAD MAX 2 rip-offs, so LAND OF DOOM will nonetheless get the thumbs up from me, as I enjoyed it in a mindlessly watchable way, although it's far from the best of this particular genre.