Epic Movie (2007)

Four orphans are given a different chance in life when they accidentally find lucky golden tickets. This is not actually a movie, it's a parody, or, better said, a series of parodies, put together in on single film. It tries desperately to make fun of every single known brand hoping to make everyone laugh but it doesn't get even close. It doesn't have any essence, any complexity, any idea of a story, just sequences joined together with "glue", hoping that something might come out of the final product. It has so many goofs and faults that it makes you wonder if it was really finished. Not to mention the actual characters which are as stupid as a rock can be. It had one single upside, the music (good music unrelated to anything from this movie). Overall, you cannot even consider it a movie. Even so, it's bad...it's REALLY bad. For your own good, just don't watch it!

I mean really? What do they go to investors with? "Hey were going to make a parody film like Date Movie, with basically same cast and do the same thing we did in that movie. Invest 10 million" I wonder if they just figure they make their money off of the $1 theaters and selling them in Pakistan as American pop culture films. No wonder the world hates usI can usually sit though these movies and find at least a bit or two that is funny. And I really didn't expect much. And boy did I get not much. I just feel sorry for jayma mays and kal penn they can do much better

I can't call it the worst movie ever, because to call it a movie is to give it too much credit. This movie's so-called 'jokes' are nothing more than a combination of references and outright plagiarism. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer make Ed Wood look like Orson Welles. This is a painful hour and half of jokes that were scrounged from the garbage bin from the writers of MadTV. It's really nothing more than a series of sketches loosely strung together, making fun at all the biggest movies from 2008ish. Oh look! It's Iron Man! Oh no, he got crushed by a cow! Because y'know, there was a cow flying around in the movie Twister...people remember Twister right? Cows flying through the air in a tornado? No? Anyone? OK, how about Batman? He has a growly voice...that's funny right? Oh, what's that? Saturday Night Live already did that...ummm... OK how about Beowulf making gay jokes? No? Death-metal singing chipmunks? hello? How about some Dr Phil jokes, or Amy Winehouse, y'know, 'cause she liked drugs...oh, that feels really out of date? Oh right, she passed away and now it's just uncomfortable...Michael Jackson in the trunk of a car with a monkey? Oh, right, he's dead too. You get the idea, these jokes are like an episode of Family Guy, so topical that the pop culture jabs are horribly dated six months afterwards. This is a pathetic, horrible pile of crap and one of the worst wastes of time ever. I won't get that time back. I will never watch another 'film' from these horrible hacks. Suck a big fat one you miserable excuses for comedy writers. Do not waste your money, don't watch it for free, pretend it never exists. Hopefully one day it will be forgotten.

I recall pushing through the theater exit and thinking, "that was the worst movie I've ever seen." I was a little bit confused about what had just happened, and that none of my friends seemed to share my sentiments, but I was too deep in shock to think much of it. The memory of that day quickly faded, and I was able to resume normal life thereafter......Seven years later and I'm hit with a moment of deja vu. I had just seen a preview for one of the Scary Movies (2 I think?), and my mind started scanning through all the crappy films I'd ever endured. For the life of me, I could not think of this title, but I was so positive in my disgust that I began searching for it -- starting with IMDb's list of the worst 100 movies of all time. I began at the #1 spot, passed a Paris Hilton flick along the way, and finally landed on #53, Epic Movie. THAT WAS IT.Epic Movie! I knew the title was just as abysmal as the content! The funny thing is, I haven't seen any of the movies ranked lower than this. It's officially the worst movie I've ever seen. Since I'm obliged to say why it's so bad: The jokes are distasteful for any age group, the parodies are weak, the cast literally could not be worse together, and the plot is so aggravatingly predictable and boring (from what I can remember -- I refuse to watch it again).Congratulations to my brain's waste management system. It erased this title clean out of my head. Two thumbs down. Would not recommend.