Freaked (1993)

whoa. vile and creepy. but awesomely funny nonsense. and boy did this have fantastic make up and gore effects. but most of all i couldn't stop laughing and i couldn't take my eyes off of it's vile maliciousness. it was fascinating and strangely absorbing.i don't even want to describe the plot. i don't want to to remind myself of it and blow my brains up. but that doesn't mean it was a bad movie, just a really freaky one. a lot of this was even a little scary. if not frightening. but it carries on with such gleeful and humorous insanity, that it ends up being more funny than disturbing.although i suppose good caution should make a viewer wary of all this. there was a lot of spite and malice here and a almost fatalistic pessimism. but it's so darned funny you're almost unaware of it.i hadn't seen this movie in a very long time. not since it first came out. i remember liking it but it didn't make much of a impression on me and i remembered almost nothing about it. having seen it again recently for the first time since it's release (or shall we say escape?) on to video, i'm surprised i didn't remember this wicked lunacy better. i mean this is grotesque stuff but man is it vivid and memorable.i'd have to say this was a very well made movie even if it was freaky and creepy. it's comedy was effective and the make up and robotics were out of this world. as to what is this movie's purpose or pointed message? i have no idea but it must be a doozy. i just don't want to think about it.

Continuing the tradition established by the legendary "Freaks" in 1932 and its variations - "She-Freak" and "The Freakmaker" - comes this wonderfully warped, in-your-face comedy with plenty of satirical detail co-written and co-directed by Alex Winter, always to be best known as Bill from the "Bill & Ted" films. Winter also stars, as an arrogant young actor who quickly abandons whatever scruples he's got when a corporation pays him a fortune to be the spokesman for a lethal chemical known as Zygrot-24. He and his horny, goof ball friend Ernie (Michael Stoyanov) fly to the country of Santa Flan as part of the deal, hook up with activist Julie (Megan Ward), and investigate the isolated freak show theme park run by one Elijah C. Skuggs (a grandiose Randy Quaid). There they get turned into the latest addition to Skuggs's collection of attractions. Now, since some of these attractions include a "cowboy" (John Hawkes), a human / worm hybrid (Derek McGrath), Mr. T as the bearded lady, and a character with a sock puppet for a head voiced by the unique Bobcat Goldthwait, that makes this something that's not to be passed up. Anything but boring, this well paced and genuinely amusing movie has some inspired bits, such as the "13 milkmen" gag, the rastafarian eyeball henchmen, and the toad sidekick who ensnares just about anything with his extra special long tongue. The soundtrack, featuring such artists as Henry Rollins & Blind Idiot God, Paul Leary, Butthole Surfers, and George Clinton, is a great deal of fun. Delightfully garish production design (by future director Catherine Hardwicke) and cinematography (by Jamie Thompson) also help a great deal in the creation of this deliberately over the top affair, featuring cameos from the likes of Morgan Fairchild and Calvert DeForest (a.k.a. Larry "Bud" Melman) and a supporting cast including William Sadler, Ray Baker, Alex Zuckerman, and Brooke Shields. Keanu Reeves, Ted to Winter's Bill in the "Bill & Ted" films, has rarely been as entertaining as he is here; buried under heavy makeup as Ortiz the Dog Boy, it looks like he's really having fun. It's unfortunate that almost 20 years ago when this came out, that people expecting more of the same "Bill & Ted" type of stuff were disappointed. "Freaked" is good fun, with eye boggling, highly impressive makeup effects from the likes of Steve Johnson and Screaming Mad George and good old fashioned stop motion animation from David Allen. It definitely deserves another look. Eight out of 10.

When I was young and hungry I started buying a movie related magazine. In one edition they interview the stars of B&T Alex Winter and Keanu "Woah" Reeves, can't remember a thing about it except that Winter said that his next project was a film called "Hideous Mutant Freaks".Now some 20 years passed and I had never heard of it since, in fact I just forgot about it. Until I saw a film called Freaked on the cult rack and absent-mindedly flipped the cover to read the back. And there it was in all its glory, slightly different name but most definitely Alex Winter's baby, released in 1993, which meant I had so far allowed it to slip under my personal radar for almost half of my life. I wondered with my almost obsessive appetite for almost all genres how this could have passed me by, then I watched it.A digression. (1) I really wanted to like this movie. (2) After 16 years of not knowing I wanted to say "don't make the same mistake I did, check out Freaked today". (3) I wanted to bring up Freaked in conversations with mates and tell people that they just have to check out this crazy film.Now with reference to the points above:(1) I didn't. (2) I won't. (3) I won't and you don't.Freaked is somewhat of a throwback, when a star made it big the studio thought "well if that worked let's throw some money at the star and let them make another hit". You might remember such classics as Hudson Hawk (which I actually like and will defend endlessly), Waterworld and Battlefield Earth? Well they all had far bigger budgets than Freaked, but Willis, Costner and Travolta all had far bigger profiles.So back to Freaked, the movie starts with opening credits that strongly resemble an early Red Hot Chilli Peppers video, and in fact one of the lead characters wears a RHCP T shirt in the early going.3 minutes in we get a Brooke Shields sighting. She is a TV presenter explaining the bizarre case of young acting superstar Ricky Coogan, who disappeared after going overseas to try to bring some credibility to a chemical manufacturer responsible for some suspect creations, notably "Vigrot 24″, which is apparently responsible for mutations in humans.The early scenes are all nudge-nudge wink-wink stuff where Alex Winter who plays Ricky Coogan is almost leaning to camera and saying "Isn't this wacky? Can you believe they are letting me get away with this?" The acting is terrible and hammier than Porky Pig, the dialogue is similarly awful and the sets look like they are from a cheap skit show like Mad TV.This is unfortunately a 3 years on Bill and Ted wannabe, only without any sort of meaningful concept that might justify any shennanigans, and without the common sense to cut most of the juvenile, cheesy and puerile stuff that they thought at the time was comedy gold I guess.15 minutes in enter Randy Quaid and I officially lose hope for this as entertainment. Similar to Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, the man has become famous for being there, in the dopey sluts case this is nightclubs and police cells, in Quaid's case he has been in so many cheesy, crappy, overacting movies that for some reason he has become the King of Crap. I just hope his latest film "Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach" (seriously!), changes my opinion of him being a gross out lowest common denominator comedian.Back to Freaked, Ricky Coogan, some chick he is chasing after and his bonehead best mate are lured by the Dr Moreau style guy played by Randy Quaid and mutated into Hideous Mutant Freaks, never saw that coming did ya?The remainder shows how the three, and a cavalcade of allegedly hilarious fellow freaks manage to escape their situation.What I learned:Again make up and FX can be done well without CGI, I must say that Alex Winter's face in particular looks cool, even though his lips don't move when he talks and he still managed to enunciate beautifully.There is more of a debt to R Crumb and even Kenny Everett than any other monster movie here.When you are making a "small" film, having multiple cameos from a bunch of similarly small celebrities doesn't help people decades later who wonder "Who the hell is that?"Mr T didn't have much to do in the early 90s. Snickers should have snapped him up sooner, he couldn't have been cheaper than when this first came out.When you make a no-budget, quirky, self aware "comedy", where the jokes are more about "look who's in it" and "gee aren't we crazy". Anyone remember Monkeybone, Nothing But Trouble or Idiocracy? Didn't think so.A parting gift from the big bad company in the film EES (Everything Except Shoes) "Those who oppose us will stand knee deep in the blood of their children". Seemed weird to me when I watched it, seems weird typing it now, but they actually said it and I think it was supposed to be funny.I never lol'd even once during this film, and I made specific note of how many times I was amused: 5Watch an episode of Futurama and try not chuckle or smile a few times - that'll save you an hour to spend doing something more worthwhile.Final Rating – 4.5 / 10. Another less than pointless vanity project. Perhaps Keanu actually was the smart one! At least he knew his limitations.If you liked this review (or even if you didn't) check out oneguyrambling.com

"Freaked" is pretty abnormal slapstick; an exercise in bad taste and definitely not intended for all audiences to see. Only if you have high tolerance for vulgar pranks, over-the-top performances & effects and really dumb situations, you might end up liking…probably LOVING this junk. This type of "humor", as we'll refer to it, can't really be compared to anything – not even the "Bill & Ted" movies – as it's obscene, mad as hell and extremely offensive. And yet, this is only obvious on the surface, since the screenplay also contains much more effective jokes and occasionally terrific satire towards showbiz and typically American vanity. Alex Winter plays the overly pretentious and greedy movie star Ricky Coogan, who reluctantly accepts a job as spokesman for a giant industrial company. His first mission is to travel to South Africa and promote this dubious company's most recent product – a lethal chemical called Zyglot – but, instead, he and his friends are captured by a grotesque freak-show owner and get turned into circus attractions themselves. Ricky and his partners in misfortune attempt to escape the mutant farm, which leads to all kind of indescribably insane situations. It's downright hilarious to see how major Hollywood stars parody themselves, like Mr. T as the bearded lady or Brooke Shields as the dumb talk show hostess. Several other gags made me laugh so hard I nearly had tears in my eyes! At one point, the freaks try to escape by ALL dressing up like milkmen! Can you imagine what a giant worm or a life-sized sock-puppet look like in a milkman outfit? Some of the grotesque special effects are courtesy of Screaming Mad George, so you can be sure they're impressive. Apparently it was Keanu Reeves underneath the wolf man make-up, yet I only discovered that after looking up the film here on this site. So, YES, the make-up is great! Excellent stuff, but be careful to whom you recommend it!