Fantasy Mission Force (1983)

This is the silliest, most over the top, insane movie I have ever seen! It has it all; a musical number, amazons, wizards, Nazis, and even a haunted house. The first time I saw this movie half way through, I realized that I could no longer be supprized, I was waiting for the robot pirate ninja Martians to make an appearance! Too often I think movies try too hard and as a result damage or sometimes even destroy themselves in their own pretentiousness. The people that made this movie knew exactly what it was. In order to fully appreciate this film you HAVE to be in the right mind set because it's just so silly. So if your in the mood for a wild and crazy film; check it out:)

Rated NR(Would Be Rated R for Violence and Brief Nudity). Quebec Rating:13+ Canadian Home Video Rating:14AI got fantasy mission force along with master with cracked fingers on VHS about five years ago.Don't be fooled by the cover saying that Jackie Chan stars in this film.He is only in the film for a couple of scenes however the scenes he is in are great and (spoiler) him and his business partner are the only ones in the film who do not die (End of spoiler).Jackie Chan may not be in this film very much but its still not too bad.This isn't really a kung fu film.Its more of a crazy action film with zombies,amazon women,men in kilts etc.THere are a couple of fight scenes but this isn't really a martial arts film.Its pretty funny how they have amazon women even though this film takes place in the 1940's.The film is about a couple of people in 1940s china during world war 2 looking for gold.However during this they get into plenty of misadventures.Fantasy Mission Force is a wild crazy movie and you just have to see it to believe it.But this is not a Chan film.Runtime:90min 7/10

I've seen some pretty bizarre movies from Hong Kong, and I've long since learned my lesson about old kung-fu movies that have Jackie Chan on the cover. Sure, 'Young Tiger' and 'Eagle Shadow Fist' were terrible, but things like 'Spiritual Kung-Fu', 'Half a Loaf of Kung-Fu', and 'Killer Meteors' were great. In fact, I thought 'Killer Meteors' could not be beaten when it came to random kung-fu awesomeness and fake Jackie Chan movies...... but then I saw 'Fantasy Mission Force'. And it transcended levels of awesomeness that 'Killer Meteors' could not even dream of. By now, fans of my writing will be saying "But Dave, in your Killer Meteors review, you said, and I quote, that Killer Meteors is 'pure awesomeness'!". Well, I'm sorry, but not even Killer Meteors could quite prepare anyone for 'Fantasy Mission Force'.I would summarize the plot, but I'm not entirely sure that is even possible. It goes something like this: China, 1944 - a group of crusading kung-fu heroes are assembled by Chinese officers. They have 4 days to travel (on foot) to Luxembourg and rescue captured Allied Generals from some Japanese Nazis who watch too much Mad Max. Hence the 'fantasy' in 'Fantasy Mission Force'.That was saying nothing about the Chinese Scots, the ninja Amazons, card-playing ghosts, or the movie having the feel of an old silent comedy. 'Fantasy Mission Force' appears to be how Jimmy Wang Yu would have made 'The Dirty Dozen' if he had been under the influence of many, many drugs. I'm not ashamed that I'm easily amused by really random comedy stories, movies etc, and thus 'Fantasy Mission Force' is something of a God-send. It may fall short as a kung-fu movie, but does that really matter when really random scenes depicting Chinese people dressed up as a Scottish marching band come and go? Yet I still think there is some method to all this madness. Did I mention that 'Fantasy Mission Force' is awesome?

I give this film 10 out of 10. That's because there is no reverse scale for movies that are so BAD they're GOOD! This one is right up there near the top of the list -- right under Latitude Zero. It starts out like The Dirty Dozen, and ends up like Mad Max, with a reference to just about anything, and everything, they could come up with along the way. From Amazons -- "That would be okay by me." To Haunted Houses -- "Who's that? Your Grandmother?" and there's even a Jackie Chan prize fight. Well, why not?None of this seems connected in any meaning full way. It's like they're at the film studio wandering from set to set -- just making it up as the go along. But none of it it as funny as the two Chinese Scotsmen. Why one of them is wearing a chrome helmet from Jesus Christ Superstar, and swinging a spiked ball on a chain is beyond me, but it fits with all the other wackiness in this crazy picture. Why not open with a musical number in a restaurant? "But first, you must call me Papa." Don't question it. Just turn your brain off, sit back, and enjoy. But don't forget to listen for the bits of soundtracks taken from other films, and "Observe the rules."