Never in My Life! (2004)

This cute little film amongst many other nonsenses shows us a woman who manages to build a beautiful house by the lakeside for about $10,000 (or was it less). She also has no problems with reacting on surprising and quite serious events with a smart-ass remarks (which is more understandable considering the script was adapted from a book, but doesn't excuse it being quite unconvincing). Our brave heroine falls madly in love with a piece of wood (which is Artur Zmijewski, hello), who's not even able to speak normally but instead generates some whispery-murmuring sounds. This "best Polish romantic comedy to date" also contains some quite stupid scenes like the one in which the lady walks through her office with a big grin on her face (she's just fallen in love) and EVERYBODY stands up and stares at her jealously, or the one with the silly camera slide, beginning with the lake surface being upside-down on the screen (somebody please explain me the sense of the idea, apart of "hey, we can do such trick" message). Be also prepared for the hopelessly stupid ending scene. To sum it up - highly recommended for sci-fi, spoof, soap opera and Danuta-Stenka-who-chuckles-all-the-time fans.

The first thing I have to say is that it is probably the worst film I've ever seen (apart from "Resident Evil 2" maybe) and I just hope none outside Poland will ever see it. It's based upon a famous book that I've never read, but I will just to see whether all those Polish housewives that are into it are mentally sick.It's a story of a journalist in her thirties, left by her unfaithful husband. At the very beginning you just don't know whether all the things that are happening are serious or it's just a nightmare. Then it all begins, the whole series of absurd events that would never convince anyone who has ever been to Poland, like getting divorced and then building a new house by a lakeside in few weeks (no sign of changing season), no asphalt road, no people around and the teenage daughter leaves the house (without a car) to visit her friend, and, finally, the great romantic lover who has an apartment in the centre of the capital with the view for the most beautiful bridge there, doesn't work (at least doesn't seem to) and prepares to leave for Brazil for few months just because his heart is broken, but still doesn't want to afford a couple of coffee cups because they're too expensive. The whole film is a sequence of unexplained reactions and situations that can only irritate the viewer. The ending is completely predictable from the moment that she says "He promised not to read my e-mails" or something like that.This is a poor attempt to make a Hollywood-style romantic comedy, but all the situations that were supposed to be comical are just pathetic. God, it wasn't supposed to be a fantasy movie or a Monthy Python flick. I just cannot believe so many people went to see this film and still liked it. I guess it tells a lot about an average Polish cinema viewer who goes to the cinema twice a year and the other film is about the pope.Guess what! They've made the sequel! But wait, they changed all the cast! Is it possible that they were so ashamed of that film that they just wanted to forget it? Probably so.

Fake! This Bridgette Jones rip off succeeds where I thought no film could: it makes Bridgette Jones 2 seem watchable.The film features a bunch of characters who I couldn't take an interest in: 2 dimensional stereo-types. A giddy thirty-something woman who has it all except a love life. A la BJ, there's a Mr Perfect, but our heroine is too stupid to see this and does everything she can to drive him away. The fact that he's too stupid to realise it's time to get his coat says a great deal about the principles of this sickly sweet romance.The plot is predictable to the point of being patronising and the performances are so overdone, it's possible Madonna and Arnie have used the same acting coaches as the leads in this film.If you like watching Brazilian soap operas, have a lot of Phil Collins albums in your cd collection and are the type of person who spends more money on grooming your poodle than yourself, this film is for you. Otherwise, do yourself a favour and give this film to someone you really hate.

I really do recommend it as a nice and warm film for cheering oneself up and I think that also the non-Polish audience would find it rather enjoyable. All the girls I've asked have liked it, so it's also great for romantic evenings. Of course it isn't anything striking, just a nice warm story sometimes compared to "Bridget Jones". The film has very good acting by Polish standards. Be prepared for a warm, fuzzy feeling.It's a story of a woman in her late thirties dumped by her husband. She has to start over alone and find the courage to take control of her life and perhaps change itm but this is just the beginning of the movie.