Cerberus (2005)

Why do I watch these things? In the forlorn hope that they might turn out to be better than I know they are going to be.See, the acting and script may be OK (well, let's be honest, generic baddie is over the top and down the other side), but there are these two things to consider...One is the gore. There's quite a lot of it and it is utterly unconvincing. This is probably not a bad thing. However...The second is Cerberus himself. Cerberus is, I'm afraid, downright bad. Bad CGI of a bad design animated badly and integrated badly into background plates. It would have been more convincing if they had used a giant cardboard cutout (and I have a feeling that, in some scenes, they may have done just that).Because the film is actually named after its least successful - by which I mean completely unsuccessful - element, the verdict must be "failure."

A lot of sci-fi movies have been made lately, some okay, some terrible, and overall better than the badly scripted ones of the prior three decades. This one had all the better elements of B movie sci fi. A lot of adventure, a cheesy but likable plot, cheesy but likable characters, action, character, atmosphere, and well written and played humor in the right spots. The plot is made to be so hokey that we know this is supposed to be an unbelievable situation, so you have to accept this unbelievable world much as you would a Tolkien world. The unbelievability is more in line with a Bond world, however. If you like Bond movies, you would probably relish this movie. The sword of a Hun leader (the most famous one of course), is stolen from the Roman God of war, Mars, and guarded by the Greek three headed dog, Cerebus, in a village straight out of the Bavarian-Romanian Dracula type movies. So clearly, the writers had a ball putting this together, and no one is expected to take it seriously. Just sit back and enjoy the fun. The lead characters are very extreme, much like James Bond characters, but though the roles are unbelievable, the motivations and actions of the characters ring true in their predicaments. Each of the minor characters is presented with a bit of witticism, mystique, and integrity. No one is a wimp in this movie. And the decisions of the characters are well timed in credibility, which makes this a superior B movie. There are some great humorous moments, such as the bit when the girl suggests using the method of Orpheus to combat the dog beast. And we all know what the other characters think when she suggests a lyre. One of the best scripted pieces done in science fiction. This is what some of the more celebrated and high budget movies wanted to be, but failed. Entertaining and likable.

"Cerberus" is a rather routine Sci-Fi Channel original creature feature.**SPOILERS**As Dr. Samantha Gaines, (Emmanuelle Vaugier) begins preparing a special exhibit for Attila the Hun, her brother Zach, (Brent Florence) runs afoul of gang leader Kul Jae Subg, (Garret T. Sato) who has become obsessed with finding the fabled sword in possession of Attila. Teaming up with Jake Addams, (Sebastian Spence) a mercenary, to track down the sword. When both teams arrive to take the sword, the three-headed dog Cerberus is unleashed and begins to hunt down everything in it's path. Using her historical knowledge, Samantha and Jake struggle to save the local village from the monster's rampage.The Good News: As bad as it seemed, there's still some great moments in here. First of all, the concept for the creature this time is pretty neat. Having a mythical creature from Greece , Cerberus, strikes as a very fearsome opponent. With three vicious, growling dog heads and an expanding snake for a tail combine into a very memorable creation, even if it doesn't strike the necessary fear buttons. The use of mythology used here is actually pleasant, allowing for some intelligence rather than the traditional toxic chemicals or experiments that create the majority of creature features. There's an extremely huge body count here, allowing for tons of deaths. Several are eviscerated, one has both legs bitten off, several limbs are bitten off, a head is bitten off in the best shock in the film, and there's also an assortment of gunshots and sword wounds as well. There's plenty of deaths involved. There's also the odd impressive sequence, such as the three heads slowly appearing behind a group of unsuspecting victims through a roaring fire or the initial appearance of the creature that are pretty decent, and the final half hour of the film is non-stop action. It's not all that bad of a film.The Bad News: As per usual with these types of films, the CGI effects completely ruin the credibility of the monster. It looks horribly cheap and never for once gives the impression that the creature is actually on-screen during it's scenes. It's a common problem for the Sci-Fi Channel's films, so this really shouldn't be a problem for it's fans, but it's disheartening to see them have so many films and yet not fixed this glaring problem. The amount of disregard for logic in here is staggering at times. The most obvious is the entire plot-line, which combines one of the most famous Asian conquerors in history with the Christian concept of Satan and a three-headed dog from Greek mythology is one of the most illogical and mind-numbing exercises around. It doesn't make sense that to cross that many different cultures and pull them off is pretty hard to swallow. Also hard is a scene where a Romanian peasant was able to recognize the significance of a satanic sword once owned by an Asian warlord that's now guarded by a monster from Greek mythology. This is just so hard to believe that it can't be passed up. The fact that the title monster has so little screen-time and actual kills among the huge body count is another big crime against it. He really needed to be around more to give more of a threat to the characters. This was a really disappointing effort.The Final Verdict: A rather typical Sci-Fi Channel original, this one at least uses a historical backdrop for the creature rather than some bio-engineered creation or over-grown insect. It's decent fun at the very least, but they've done a lot better and a lot worse, so take it from where you stand with their films.Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language

Sci-Fi channel presents CERBERUS: a three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hell. The CGI is not that obtrusive, actually blended better than a lot out there. Before the breastplate belonging to Attila the Hun can be shipped to NYC for exhibition it is stolen. It is suppose to give clues to where the fabled battle sword is located...one restriction is that even if the clue is found, the sword is guarded by a three-headed dog. Greg Evigan plays the bad ass greed monger that intends to be invincible by having possession of Attila's sword. Supporting cast includes: Emmanuelle Vaugier, Garret Sato, Brent Florence and KB Nau.