18 Bronze Girls of Shaolin (1983)

Really bad, except for the fight scenes at the end. The most girls of shaolin I counted were 15, though most of the time I think there were only about 10. Those were the good things about this movie. The English dialogue was terrible, 99% of it made no sense and almost no sentence would be recognized as an English sentence. I am not sure but I think it was supposed to be a comedy, It failed. And the synopsis seems to have nothing to do with the movie.

After the bronze girls prance around a bit, the narrator explains that the Shaolin Temple was once lead by an evil monk who allowed girls to learn martial arts. (You won't find that in your history books!) A man of mystery kills a few monks. Doris appears in disguise at the temple and they take her to the abbot who is testing some of his bronze babes. She has come to learn martial arts. They refuse. The abbot discovers one of the bronze babes is missing. Her name is the same name Doris gave. Though Doris could not speak a man understood her mumbling and translated. That man goes to see a man in the same costume as Doris who is also a crippled mute. Doris is also there but now as a hot chick. A blind girl plays the lute. She also has the same name.I could go on describing the action but there is no point because it never makes any sense. I find conflicting information about who directed this movie and no information about who wrote the script. I suspect no one wanted their name on this mess. Also I go by the HKMDB release date of 1978 not 1983.My copy is a VHS converted to a digital file. It retains the square picture aspect of old televisions. No attempt was made to pan and scan. This leads to a ridiculous scene at about the 33 minute mark. Kam Kong is supposed to be standing across from a man who looks exactly like him. This is the old "split screen" special effect. The 4:3 VHS aspect cuts off the extreme right and left of the original movie. The result is instead of Kam Kong standing next to his double all you see on the right is the actor's right arm and on the left the actor's left arm. No faces nor bodies just two arms! Kam Kong then fights against himself. Yueh Hua is in the disguise.The entire middle of this movie is comedy and it all fell flat for me. Some people might find it funny though. I won't hold that against the movie but it still falls below average in my rating. This movie is strictly for hard core fans only. I am a hard core fan. I watched it once and I doubt I will ever watch it again.

False monk, Ching Kung, trains 18 girls to master the arts of bronze girl kung-fu. At the beginning I was completely lost about what was happening but that didn't spoil the fun. Anyway, one of the bronze girls was missing and everyone was on disguise and looking for her, I didn't get it if they found her or not but then some monk appeared and announced that the secret bronze girl fighting manual was stolen and everyone rushed to find the thief, o brother..Highly recommended for those who have enough sense of humor for silly kung-fu flicks.(BTW. the movie was made 1983)

If oriental girlies painted gold is your thing, then you could be on to a winner here! The plot revolves so fast that i never really understood it despite watching it several times. Despite that it's really funny with some super-quotable quotes and stupid stunt action. Woo woo!