Skeleton Coast (1988)

SKELETON COAST is a very low rent action/war film, made in South Africa and shot in the Namibian desert. If you're going to watch it, it's going to be for the various ageing actors who have been coerced into appearing, because otherwise it's a film with no value. The action is cheap and repetitive, and the 'mission' plot feels meandering and lacking in plot.Ernest Borgnine headlines the piece as a mercenary who must break into a fortress to rescue his kidnapped son, but what plays out is cheap and lacklustre. Watch out for a gruff Oliver Reed cameo, a sheepish Robert Vaughn as the baddie, and Herbert Lom in an early part. Arnold Vosloo's here too, years before HARD TARGET and THE MUMMY, and he has a full head of hair! It says something that this is the most remarkable thing about the movie.

It's yet another late eighties adventure/action film featuring such greats as Ernest Borgnine, Herbert Lom, Oliver Reed, Robert Vaughn and…Daniel Greene (from Atomic Cyborg and many, many Italian action films – maybe he got lost on his way to some Fabrizia De Angelis production?). This one has a kind of Dirty Dozen type deal going on which I'll explain….now: Over in some African country I never bothered remembering the name of, Borgnine's son gets kidnapped by the government (or the rebels, something like that), and Ernest goes to Africa to get him back, employing the help of Herbet Lom, then gathering together a rag tag group of mercenaries (Daniel Greene, token chick, token martial artist, old man, religious nut etc) and heads off into the desert with loads of guns to get him back. You know, the usual crap.It's fun watching Borgnine and his crew blowing the crap out of stuff, and facing off first against Oliver Reed's security forces (you've got to love the way the film makes you think that Reed will come back for another battle, but vanishes from the film instead) then Robert Vaughan's nazi-style forces. Things blow up, people fire machines guns at each other, and is it just me or did Borgnine and his crew just flat out murder those smugglers in order to get that plane? Why are action films from this era so appealing? I'm not sure. There's no barrage of over-stylised shots, no self-parody, no Tarantinoisms, and no modern film would end with such a cheesy freeze frame like this one does. That all helps. Plus, who doesn't like Ernest Borgnine? He was Mermaid Man!

When his son Michael, who is an undercover CIA operative, is kidnapped and imprisoned by the Angolan army, his father Col. Bill Smith (Borgnine) snaps into action and assembles a team of inter-racial mercenaries to travel deep into Africa to free his son. This team includes, but is not limited to: Smith himself, Blade (Vosloo), Toshiro (Kwong), Sam (Mulford), Chuck (Kennedy) and Rick (Greene). All have their specialties in the fighting arts. On the side of the baddies we have Col. Schneider (Vaughn), supposedly an East German with some interests in the Angolan army vs. the rebels, and Capt. Simpson (Reed), yet another character who has his own interests. Add to this mix Elia (Lom) and you have a desert/jungle adventure best suited to Saturday afternoon viewing.Clearly, the only real reason to see this movie is its incredible cast. Our hometown hero Ernest Borgnine leads the pack with his engaging and always-upbeat performance. It really is a pleasure to see him shooting machine guns along with all the younger cast. We also always love to see Oliver Reed doing what he does best - yelling crazily - whether he technically has to be there or not. He plays a very similar character here as he does in Rage to Kill (1987). Robert Vaughn brings his distinct voice to the proceedings, and a fairly early performance by Arnold Vosloo completes the picture. Interestingly enough, he met and married co-star Nancy Mulford when they met on this film. See, Skeleton Coast really brings people together.While the many stars on show will draw viewers in, and there is plenty of beautiful scenery and such, the movie is kind of flat and feels like filler at times. It also has some wacky musical stings that seem inappropriate. Really, this is just a star-studded Exploding Hut movie, and it's also a bit overlong (probably to try to accommodate all the characters).On the technical front, if you watch this on Netflix streaming, the colors are soft and faded. On the Nelson VHS, that is not the case. The movie looks a lot more normal, with sharper colors. If you opt to buy this movie, look for the Nelson VHS.While the wonderfully jolly Ernest Borgnine is a personal hero, Skeleton Coast really is nothing overly good OR overly bad. It's kind of somewhere in the middle. If you're a fan of any of the stars involved, and you're okay with that, do proceed. If not, your time might be better spent elsewhere. If Skeleton Coast was The Expendables (2010) of its day, then Ernest Borgnine truly is the original Stallone.For more action insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

I own this movie on DVD having somehow missed it when it first came out, and i have to say i was impressed. What started out looking like it was going to be a waste of 90 minutes viewing time and a good number of brain cells turned out to be a fun, amusing, and enjoyable feast of cheesy dialogue, great action, and good music.The credits list Oliver Reed and Herbert Lom as main characters but this patently isn't the case. They would have been paid hansomely to appear in their cameo roles, in which they do quite well, giving hammy but very amusing performances. This paradox is one of many questions hanging over this film, which feels at times like a cliche but is actually quite entertaining.In the lead is Ernest Borgine, a realiable campaigner who doesn't seem to out of place in the film despite the fact that he was 70 when starring in it plays Colonel Smith. He is ably assisted by Daniel Greene as Rick Weston, whilst former UNCLE star Robert Vaughn as the East German baddie.What i expected to be a real stinker full of old hams and a rather tragic affair turned out to be a nimble little East African romp with some great-looking loactions, which should have been used to greater effect, some nonsensical but intriquing plot development, and some title music that is a real gem if you ever coem across it.