The Legend of Frosty the Snowman (2005)

This is quite simply one of the worst animated movies I have ever seen. It was just plain stupid. The animation was more or less awful. The voices poor. The script was quite simply abysmal. The timing of every "joke" was off. So many of them just went flat. The father character was bizarre. The principle looked like and came across like a child molester. And Frosty acted as if he were brain damaged in some pre-movie accident. Awful. Just awful. The only good thing was its relationship with the classic Christmas special. I hope you read this before watching the movie. Don't waste your time!

In the town of Evergreen, Mayor Tinkerton, who has a gold statue of himself in front of city hall and thinks he controls the sun, enforces tight rules and regulations upon his town, with everything from the street being clean to all children walking with their backs straight. (Pretty sure that's not how most American towns operate, but we'll roll with it). Enter this picture the disembodied magical hat of Frosty, which begins to go around town stalking certain kids. He waits until they're alone, then leads them away from their parents and compels them to break rules with the promise of having fun together.Did that last part sound a little creepy? Yeah...Parents, unable to notice Frosty (even though he's BLATANTLY RUNNING AROUND THE CITY IN BROAD DAYLIGHT), are curious why their children now disobey them, sneaking out at night, and spending time with this Frosty fellow. While Charlie Tinkerton investigates the story of Frosty, the kids begin to love Frosty so much that they are practically worshiping him, getting mad at one another when Frosty shows special attention.Did that last part also sound a little creepy? I seriously thought they were going to head down a "Children of the Corn" route. I was half expecting the kids to start talking about "He Who Walks Between the Snow Banks".Things worsen when Principal Pankley (whom the mayor disturbingly refers to as "Hanky Panky") melts Frosty by dropping him in ice water (not making this up), then proceeds to suspend habeas corpus and install himself as a tyrannical parent state over the children (again, I'm NOT making this up!). It's up to the kids to resolve things in the predictable conclusion.A lot of holiday specials nowadays have the feeling of being rushed in order to cash in on the holiday season, and this is no exception. As hinted at from my plot description, the storyline is extremely convoluted, introducing elements that are either never fully explained, or never resolved. For example, the magical comic Charlie comes across is never fully explained; you never know how it came into existence, why it exists, or why it acts the way it does. It solely exists as a plot convenience to explain things to the viewer.Another big problem lies in the inconsistencies in the story, as well as plot holes that you could drive a semi through. Frosty's Hat is perfectly capable of breaking out of the chained box, but for some reason he just now decides to break out? Why? Never explained. Furthermore, they establish that Frosty's power rests in his hat, not in his body, and yet after Frosty "melts", nothing remains but his hat, as if he's been defeated. There's also a scene where Frosty's hat leads Charlie into the library...while, at the same time, Frosty appears to two boys at the school. Huh? Is Frosty omnipresent? Are we supposed to assume Frosty is some kind of winter demiurge? There are other problems. For example, Frosty and a kid go to a lake of thin ice, and Pankly removes the sign which says "DANGER: THIN ICE"...though he does it AFTER they've already been skating on the ice. What, they didn't notice it? Then the kid asks Frosty to do a figure eight, in order for the ice to crack under him. You know how this works? Because instead of doing a figure eight, Frosty just goes into the middle of the lake and spins around like a top. What? And apparently, Frosty has control over the elements of snow, winter, and ice, but ice water melts him. Makes sense, sure. Then later on, even though Mr. Pankly KNOWS Frosty is gone, the kids made a Frosty similitude that just looks like a tall pile of snow, and Pankly thinks it's Frosty come back. Again, what? Then when Charlie finds the comic in the library, he reads the title as "The Secret and Neverending Adventures of Frosty the Snowman"...even though the comic on the screen simply says "Frosty the Snowman". Did no one in the animation department notice that? Perhaps one of the strangest parts of this special is how it supports breaking the rules. Now, I get the whole "let kids just be kids" shtick a lot of these specials try to get across, but they go well beyond in this. In one scene, Frosty vandalizes someone's car and gets a girl involved, and it's treated as a GOOD thing. What's more, one of the charges lodged against Frosty is that the kids are being disobedient to their parents - and again, this is treated as a GOOD thing. I have children, and I fully support them expressing themselves, having imagination, etc...but sorry, I'm still their father. I still have authority over them until they're adults.Yet another major problem (I could probably write a book) is the length of the special. It's literally just over an hour, but the story feels like something that could have been resolved in thirty minutes. A lot of it is just corny visual gags or fluff that does nothing to the story. It doesn't offer any laughs. It doesn't offer anything groundbreaking to the plot. It's just there.Let me make it clear that I realize this is meant for little kids. Sometimes you have to give leeway in regards to suspension of disbelief. However, I think children deserve at least a decent story, and shouldn't be treated like idiots. I also think they deserve a better Christmas moral than "car vandalism is cool so long as you're stickin' it to the man". As a parent, I ask other parents to just avoid this, and not subject your kids to this. Not only will your mind hurt, but they won't get anything from this. If you want a Frosty cartoon, stick with the two Rankin/Bass specials. I'm not going to say they're perfect, but they still hold up.

The John Goodman program was pretty awful, but this thing just plain stinks. The one and only thing in this mess that made me smile was recognizing the voice of Patrick Starfish as Frosty. The story is hopeless, written by somebody who has garbled memories of childhood rebelliousness but has never gained any adult sense of perspective in the intervening years. Paranoia rules the dark world that these characters inhabit. Everybody is unpleasant, and for no reason. The plot is predictable but the show lurches from one inexplicable, unconnected scene to another in such a pointless way there is no fun in watching it. The worst thing is nobody in the production crew seems to have ever seen snow!

I picked up the Frosty 3-pack at Toys R' Us this weekend and the first thing I did was watch this special. I have to say if you loved the original you should love this one.I wouldn't call this special a direct sequel to the original but unlike Frosty Returns it does make connections to the original special. So here's a bit of a spoiler as to the connection between the first special and this latest one.In this special the mayor of Evergreen is apparently one of the kids from the classic TV special. We get to see a younger version of him as well as Karen in the pages of a comic book explaining the origins of Frosty. There is a slight problem though, it turns out that he's the son of Professor Hinkle and that Frosty's hat was captured by a bitter kid. This contradicts what we saw in the original special as Frosty flies off on Santa's sleigh and there was no mention of Hinkle having a kid. My only other complaint not withstanding the continuity error is the voice actor for Frosty, they chose Bill Fagerbakke, otherwise known as Patrick from Spongebob. It's hard to take Frosty seriously when he sounds so dumbed down. Fortunately Frosty is barely noticeable throughout the special as the story concentrates on the cast of human characters instead.Nevertheless, despite the continuity error and Frosty's voice this is a highly enjoyable special that every Frosty fan should pick up. The problems that bugged me can be easily overlooked. This special may not surpass the original one but when compared to Frosty Returns this is a masterpiece.