The Big Ask (2014)

It is scary that someone saw this and billed it as a dark comedy. I assume that was someone from a marketing department.*** SPOILERS AHEAD *** Since I don't see any reviews that touch on what I saw as the central point of the movie, I thought I should add a review for those who want to know what the point of this movie is. This movie is exploring the horror of infidelity through the use of metaphor. It sets up the viewer to compare two events: (1) the Big Ask (Andrew's wildly inappropriate request) and the adultery of his wife Hannah with his friend Owen and (2) the stealing of the neighbor's dog vs. the murder of the same dog by the crazy woman.In both comparisons, Andrews character is portrayed as doing something awful, selfish, and unconscionable. But then the comparison causes us to reflect on it in a new way. Hannah's infidelity is just like Andrew's Big Ask but without the class and honesty(!) (Notice that Hannah reveals her infidelity at a key moment which draws out the comparison with Andrew's Big Ask.) The terribleness of the Big Ask allows us to see how outrageous and unconscionable infidelity really is. At the beginning of the film, his friend asks Andrew if he understands how messed up it is to ask to have sex with his friends' wives. Andrew says he understands, but doesn't care. That is infidelity.I think the dog serves as a second metaphor for infidelity. He steals the neighbors dog and moves in with in it because he wanted the dog. The neighbors assumes the dog is dead when it doesn't come back. Later a crazy lady stabs the dog to death. The killing is viewed by everyone as much more horrific than stealing the dog. But to the neighbor, what is the difference? The dog was gone either way, assumed dead or actually dead. This is how families are left in the wake of infidelity, without their wife or husband, mother or father.The Big Ask invites us to consider the true infidelity. This is not a dark comedy and certainly not a product of "rape culture." If you are ready to soak it in and think on it, this movie has a lot to offer.

OK, the three adjectives above are the first three that come to mind when thinking about describing this film. Another one is "surprising" because I was expecting a comedy. Optimum on Demand describes it as a dark comedy and lists it under comedy in its genre lists. Actually, this is not only surprising, it's horrifying, to think that anyone would categorize this film as a comedy. At least IMDb adds "drama" to it. Granted it has its comedic moments, that one might think of as "droll" or "dark humor" but overall it's a film that takes on some heavy issues, and its main character is going through some deep stuff with intense feelings, including pain and suffering. The people out there who may think how he responds to his dilemmas as humorous, well, I hope I never meet them, because I know I will hate them. Anyway, I did not hate this movie. In fact, by the end I liked it much more than I thought I would. And, I think it's worth a second viewing because it's the kind of film in which one might miss stuff the first go around.

What a fantastic movie! The Big Ask is set up with a unique premise that sounds outlandish, but the execution of the movie feels tremendously real and meaningful. The script is smart, funny, and thoughtful, and the performances are very, very good. You feel immediately what it is like to be part of this group of friends and watching them deal with this situation and with their friend who is clearly in serious pain is entertaining and enlightening.This is really a great movie and quite different than your typical movie studio drivel. If you're interested in a focused, dynamic study of character with fantastic acting, this is the film for you.

I love The Big Ask!!!. Thomas Beatty's screenplay, his and co-director Rebecca Fishman's visual realization of it, and the performances throughout combine to make a haunting, touching, and hilariously human experience. It's about grief, courage, the crazy places loss and depression can take us, and the healing nature of friendship and love. I laughed my ass off, and then I cried. I've already watched the film twice, and can't wait to see it again. David Krumholtz gives one of the bravest performances I've ever seen. He's willing to let you almost hate him, until at the last possible moment, he redeems himself, and brought this viewer, at least, to tears. I also love that the filmmakers and actors are not afraid to play with the idea that subjects like death and sex and intimacy and, well, life are both uncomfortable, and funny as hell. The desert landscape and haunting score (also love the Deer Tick song, and final song - don't know who sings it ,but it's great) really enhance the experience. I so seldom find that a movie sticks with me, but this one did. Can't wait to see what Beatty and Fishman do next.