London Suite (1996)

This is a total bomb. The play on which it is based is also a bomb, considering the source. The baker's dozen of super talented actors could not save this monument to mediocrity. It truly screens like the very definition of a made-for-TV movie, only from the eighties rather than 1996. It's almost as if Mr. Simon was trying to squeeze out another "Suite" as excellent and successful as the first two . . . oh, wait . . . I guess that might be the point (?!?), but apparently the only point. A very constipated mash-up of retro-'60's dialogue and '90's comedic sensibilities, there is awkwardness to be had at nearly every turn.

Given the enormous comedic talent involved, this was rather disappointing. The most successful comedic playwright since Shakespeare, Neil Simon, has half a dozen of the most popular American comedians of the 1990's in this 1996 production. The director, Jay Sandwich, was the main director of the two most popular American television shows of the 1970's and 1980's (the Mary Tyler Moore Show and the Bill Cosby Show).Neil Simon always mixes together four or five plots and keeps them moving briskly. In this case three of his four separate plots go nowhere. Only one pays off.The successful plot involves Sidney (Kelsey Grammar) and Diana (Patricia Clarkson). Diana is a successful television star hoping to revive her marriage to Sidney that broke up eight years previously. Sidney has been living as a gay man on the Greek island of Mikonos for those eight years and has come to meet Diana for an entirely different reason. The performances here are subtle, sharp, sensitive and sweet.Julia Louise Dreyfus and Johnathan Silverman try to work a plot about a newlywed who loses her husband at the airport. Dreyfus is pure slapstick, twisting,turning and rolling her eyes to simulate her hysteria at losing her husband. Silverman arrives too late and is too laid-back to improve things. At one point Dreyfus is supposed to be drunk and says to a waiter, "I'm drunk, can't you tell?" In fact, she acts drunk throughout, so it is hard to tell.Michel Richards and Julie Haggardy do more mainly physical slapstick as a man with a bad back and a wife who loses her husband's Wimbledon tickets. This seems to go back to television sketch comedy of the 1950's. One could imagine Sid Caesar or Milton Berle wringing the same laughs from the material. Richards is in his element with the physical comedy, so there are a few laughs here. Brits, Paxton Whitehead and Jane Carr brighten up this episode.Madeline Kahn and Richard Mulligan go on a mismatched date which leads nowhere. It reminded me of the old television show "Love American Style". There are a few faint smiles but no laughs here.I would say, if you're a Neil Simon fan, see it for the wonderful acting of Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Clarkson, but don't expect anything from the other stories. As a whole, it is sub-par Neil Simon, but at least 25% of it is solid Neil Simon at his best

Ironically, I was in London in 1996 for a few days in the summer. When this film aired on television, I was excited. It had a great cast but when it came to air. It was embarrassing to watch. This is one of Neil Simon's weakest stories. I am sure he could have come up with something better and interesting to entertain us. I felt embarrassed for the great cast like Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jonathan Silverman. They had a crazy story. I was surprised by Rolf Saxon who I love playing Julia's brother-in-law living in London with his wife. You could see they were trying so hard for the audience. Despite Rolf's brief appearance, he goes uncredited and that's an outrage for me. I liked watching Madeline Kahn and Richard Mulligan but felt it was too awkward. The worst was Patricia Clarkson, Kristen Johnson, and Kelsey Grammar. I am sorry but it was so hard to watch them. I liked Michael Richards and Julie Hagerty together but felt that they could have used a better story. I liked the brief appearance of British actress, Janine Duvitsky.

This movie rocked! I taped and watched it three times in two days. I totally loved it! It's not for people who can't follow four stories at one, but I can and understood all of them.The first story is about Julia Louis-Dreyfus, a distraught newlywed who can't find her husband for a party. 'My olive is gone.' Instead of telling the truth, she tells the guests that her husband has 'hemoglybosisis'.The second story, and arguably the funniest, Michael Richards throws out his back. 'Mrs. Sitgood, as you can see, I'm talking to you from the floor. The floor is the only thing that kept me from landing in the lobby.' His wife, Julie Hagerty, and Dr. McMerlin try to help his back problems and end up on the floor with him.The third story, an emotional one at best, is Kelsey Grammer, a gay man, and his ex-wife who's still in love with him. He comes to London to meet her so he can have money for his significant other, Max.The fourth story is about Madeline Kahn and her daughter, who hooks her up with Richard Mulligan, and invites her for a night out. 'Smell my hair. It smells like I was at a five day barbecue...I'm going to be at the theater and suddenly, someone will yell FIRE!.'Probably the funniest quote and an indicator that it's from a play was: 'Why are we talking like this? It sounds like we're talking in a musical.' This is way better than a musical. I loved it and the next time it's on TV, watch it. No excuses.