Painted Lady (1998)

I watched this on TV over a decade ago, kept a tape of it at whose spine I looked fondly from time to time, and finally saw it again on Netflix with my husband last night. He was not immediately enthralled (though I was, all over again). After the first hour or so, we had to keep watching as the suspense and loose ends multiply, and I had forgotten the twists and turns. I love way the plot works out and the loose ends are tied up. On second viewing, however, with a more critical companion, I realized how absurd some of the best plot developments and most memorable scenes actually are.At some level, the production works because of the way it is haunted by images of Baroque paintings, saints in various violent and twisted poses and situations. The love of art is intense in many of the characters, and when Maggie finally sees Artemesia's Judith canvas her face tells us that this violent, even horrible scene is beautiful. (Another important painting in the story is a Goya bullfight scene.) As in a Caravaggio painting, the faces--the performances--stand out as realistic, everyday people, recognizable in the street (or at least the streets of drama)--they are complex, confused, liable to do stupid things or to misunderstand a given situation completely. Many of them are obsessed by symbols, too--Charles dies at the beginning of the story because he cannot bear to see his long-dead wife's rather ugly portrait damaged; Maggie carries her father's cigarette case like a fetish. The way these characters meet each other and interact in the gloom of the plot is beautiful and moving. But their motivations remain murky and incomprehensible.Mirren performs a fabulous double role--Maggie the tough streetwise bohemian earth-mother artist and her alter ego The Countess, whose knowledge, apparent prosperity, and aristocratic manner hide a terrible fragility. Maggie is of course acting the role of The Countess, worrying that the mask may slip, but her sister at one point implies that she is also acting the role of Maggie. Maggie lives in her own world, a world of music, in which emotional attachments last a long time and give life shape and meaning. That "explains" everything.

"Painted Lady" is perfectly dreadful television fare. Don't waste your time with it. Plot strands, sometimes pretty and other times gritty, fly off in every direction without the slightest resolution. Characters -- a boy in the bath, street thugs, art dealers with Italian accents, restorers, purveyors of rough trade, even a dog -- come and go. The film begins as a British police investigatory, mind you, but the cops fail to properly investigate what should be an absurdly easy murder to solve. They are out of it by the second reel. (Where is Hercule Poirot when you need him!) Helen Mirren, unconvincing as a retired rocker with a pin in the side of her nose, is also unconvincing as a Polish noblewoman in disguise. She fails to save it. And the credits roll.Mirren's character, you see, lives off the largesse of Sir Charles Stafford, the aged -- and debt-burdened -- proprietor of a great house somewhere in the British Isles. One night, while she lolls with a boy toy, Stafford is killed in what appears to be the heist of an Old Master hanging in the hall. The audience immediately knows who done it and why. For reasons known only to the scriptwriter, Mirren hides Stafford's gun from the police, reconnects with Stafford's wayward son, and sets out to recover the painting, which may or may not exist.The audience is treated to a good bit of art history and one of those plummy high-stakes art auctions, but it is all pointless. Nothing happens. Nothing makes sense. And Mirren's song lyrics are just awful. "Painted Lady" is "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" light. Watch something else.

Reading the first comment, I wasn't sure that it was the same film I had just agonized through. From dialog to confused plot "Painted Lady" qualifies as a true Disaster film.Where to begin? I fear that dissecting this cadaver would entail too many spoilers, though spoiling this film would be a redundancy.There are enough clichés of plot and language to satisfy any B movie connoisseur. Characters come and go, money changes hands, Mirren repeatedly walks into dangerous situations, escaping primarily, through editing cuts to the next scene with no explanation. Near the end of the film, where she barely escapes with her life, we see her walk away without a huge painting that is the raison d'etre of the film. Once again the editor steps in to correct the oversight.Details of plot and dialog are changed at will, leaving one to wonder about what is really going on. Helen Mirren seems to have reverted to her days in "Caligula", not on a sexual level, but rather for being associated with a story too banal for pulp fiction.Reviewing my comment, I have been a trifle negative...only because of my self-restraint.

This movie is totally worth watching, buying and keeping. Helen Mirren is just extraordinary and the plot is outstanding. You'll be caught in the plot from start to finish in one of the most intriguing and exciting mysteries ever put on the screen. Magnificent!