Mean Frank and Crazy Tony (1973)

MEAN FRANK AND CRAZY TONY is a mixed-up Italian crime movie with various disparate elements. One of the best of these is Lee Van Cleef, taking a break from the spaghetti western movie genre to play a big-shot gangster. Van Cleef plays in support while the main role is a wiseguy newcomer determined to meet his idol. The story mixes traditional Italian polizia thriller elements and has some arresting murder scenes at the outset, including a bit where a masseuse uses an electric drill on one of his clients! Later, there are some prison drama moments, and a surprising amount of comedy. It's something of a mixed bag as a film but still fun, and a naked Edwige Fenech is thrown into the mix to boot.

Most likable and enjoyable film that goes this way and that but with the ultra cool Van Cleef always there to keep our attention and steer us through the sex, the violence and the spills and thrills. Basically a tale of competing mobsters, this begins in very violent mode with liberal misuse of an electric drill and heavy duty fights and torture. Then Tony lo Bianco comes on the scene, an absolute nobody who charms his buffoon like way into the life of van Clef. So then we get elements of a buddy movie before the long and exciting road movie stuff which is splendidly done. Two other elements to help or hinder, however. One Tony who plays his craziness in a more and more slapstick way as the film progresses but he just about gets away with it because of his charm and the sobering influence of his meaner 'partner'. The other element to intrude and how could I have resisted mentioning her for so long is Edwige Fenech. In this case, unfortunately we see little of her. Or more precisely we see all of her but only for a couple of minutes, she is sadly underused but still makes glorious impact in and out of big hat and little clothes. Great fun and the violence at the start is strong.

Although I'm grateful this obscure gem of 70's Italian exploitation cinema features in the recently released "Grindhouse Experience" box set, and although it's also available on disc under the misleading and stupid alternate title "Escape from Death Row", I honestly think it deserves a proper and luxurious DVD edition, completely in its originally spoken languages with subtitle options (the dubbing is truly horrible), restored picture quality and a truckload of special bonus features! Heck, I don't even need the restored picture quality and bonus features if only we could watch the film in its original language. "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony" is a cheerfully fast-paced mafia/crime flick with a lot of violence, comedy (which, admittedly, doesn't always work), feminine beauty and two witty main characters. Tony Lo Bianco is terrific as the small thug pretending to be the city's biggest Don. When the real crime lord Frankie Dio (Lee Van Cleef) arrives in town, he sees an opportunity to climb up the ladder by offering his services. Frankie initially ignores the little crook, but they do eventually form an unlikely team when Frankie's entire criminal empire turns against him and a new French criminal mastermind even assassinates Frankie's innocent brother. Tony helps Frankie to escape from prison and together they head for Marseille to extract Frankie's revenge. The script of this sadly neglected crime gem funnily alters gritty action & suspense with light-headed bits of comedy, like the grotesque car chase through the narrow French mountain roads for example. The build up towards the typical mafia execution sequences (guided by an excellent Riz Ortolani score) are extremely tense and the actual killings are sadistic and merciless, which is probably why the film is considered to be somewhat of a grindhouse classic. The film lacks a strong female lead, as the lovely and amazingly voluptuous beauty Edwige Fenech sadly just appears in a couple of scenes, and then still in the background. On of the men behind the camera, responsible for the superb cinematography, was no less then Joe D'Amato. Great film, highly recommended to fans of Italian exploitation, and I hope to watch it again soon in its original version.

One of the few good things (maybe) to come out of Quentin Tarantino's recent ill-fated attempt to bring a multi-million dollar 70's "grindhouse" flick to suburban multiplexes is a renewed interest in actual 70's grindhouse movies. I don't know if this movie ever actually played grindhouses (it's a little tame actually), but like a lot of movies on the recent "The Grindhouse Experience" DVD compilation it's just as bad and in the same crappy condition as many movies that did. This is an Italian crime thriller featuring two very familiar figures from 70's Italian exploitation films--no, I'm not talking about an aging Lee Van Cleef or still-unknown (and-never-really-to-be) Tony LoBianco, I'm talking about Edwige Fenech's left breast and Edwige Fenech's right breast.Fenech herself is wasted (as woman usually were in these films) in a story about a young, ambitious mobster (LoBianco) who gets himself arrested so he can meet his idol, a powerful godfather (Van Cleef), but gets a lot more than he bargained for, becoming mixed up in a prison break and raging gang war. Some of these Italian crime thrillers are pretty good actually, but it's hard to know how seriously to take some others because they are often horribly dubbed by English-speakers who were obviously taking their job pretty lightly. This is a gritty urban 70's action movie, but the idiotic dubbing crew act like their doing an off-Broadway rendition of "Guys and Dolls" (Fenech in particular is saddled with the incongruous voice of a bad Mae West impersonator). This might be a decent movie with subtitles or halfway competent dubbing, but it's hard to tell. As it is I'd recommend it only to those who just can't get enough of Edwige Fenech boobs.