6 Years (2015)

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires." Francois de La RochefoucauldI think this movie proves this wisdom pretty much. I also don't understand where all the hate towards this movie comes from, but my guess would be, because you saw yourself in it. If all of you are in such perfect relationships and never were in a bad one, then where do all the divorces and break ups come from? Surely not from another planet. The characters are not here to be liked or loved by the audience. They're not children's cartoon characters. They just show their realistic far from pefect story and that's it. Compared to many other trashy and cliché love movies, this one at least got me thinking a little. About distance, what people think love is, big decisions, young love and so on. Sure, you can judge the characters for not being good role models, but they were never supposed to be. And as someone who doesn't like alcohol, you can also be grossed out, but I think it gives the movie a real feel to it. Young people being stupid, very emotional and trying to do the right thing, but failing to do so. That's life. It hurts, it's fun, it's pain.

Anyone who says this is a realistic portrayal of a relationship needs therapy and I don't mean that in a snarky way. If neither of you need therapy then even your worst relationship would never be this insufferable.The girl needs anger management and the guy seriously needs to work on his communication skills. Every single character was unlikable. I work in Austin so the only thing I could relate to was the scenery and hipsters but even then they were too spunky and friendly for Austin hipsters so my brief glimpse of immersion was ruined as soon as they opened their mouths. And don't even get me started on the ending, but I'm trying to keep this spoiler-free to give fair warning to any rational person thinking about trying this movie. Don't do this to yourself unless you need background fodder or you are under 25 with a heightened pain threshold.

Preconceived NotionsNaturally, if a movie presents itself as us getting to know two young people who have been together for 6 years, you know there is going to be drama. After all, they seem to only be in high school or college and been together forever. Question is, though: what will tear them apart and, will the reason for reconciliation make sense? Though they could always go down the road of showing what keeps two young people together for 6 years, but I doubt that is an option.Trigger Warning(s): Rape AttemptCharacters & Story (with Commentary)They are the enviable couple. They met sometime in high school, stayed together through college, and are so cute and in love that they almost seem foreign in modern times. Yet, they are real. They are Mel (Taissa Farmiga) and Dan (Ben Rosenfield). One, Mel, who plans on becoming an elementary school teacher and then there is Dan who wants to work in the music industry.Which leads to the conflict of the movie. Dan's co-workers, especially one named Amanda (Lindsay Burdge) are getting more of his time and energy than Mel. Then, to make things even more difficult, not only is the relationship between Amanda and Dan getting muddy, but also Dan is offered a job in New York. A big issue for Mel since, currently, both she and Dan live in Texas. Leaving us to wonder, by the movie's end, with Dan having so many opportunities, both professional and perhaps sexual, what will become of the 6 years he invested with Mel? Will they remain together and try to work it out; perhaps go on a break; devolve their relationship into a friendship; or will their breakup be something of a tornado ripping apart each other's lives until it seems all that was built in those 6 years was nothing but dominoes being set up to fall?Highlights>It is hard to deny that Farmiga and Rosenfield make a cute on screen couple. The type you'd imagine, by the end of the movie, might end up engaged, married, or perhaps would end the movie with children. For the way things seem in the beginning, it is like we are presented a cute little suburban fairy tale.>I liked how there was a balance between Mel having her own friends, her own career, and Dan had his own friends and his own career. That way it didn't make Mel seem like an accessory, or make Dan seem like a tool. Both had equal footing both in the relationship and in the film.>Though I didn't agree with a lot of the drama in the film, I was glad one of the issues brought up dealt with Dan possible going to New York and how Mel reacted when it wasn't so much a discussion but him saying he was going to. That was perhaps the first time that it seemed their issues weren't something sort of random and out of left field.Low PointsFully recognizing that in this generation a 6-year relationship seems more like the exception than a rule, to me anyway, I just couldn't get into any of the drama surrounding this couple. If it wasn't Amanda and Dan being too friendly, it was Mel's friends who honestly seemed like some undercover haters who all but said, "I hate that you have had a boyfriend so long and all I can do is drink my way to someone looking at me twice." Which perhaps is a harsh thing to say but, honestly it did seem no one was happy they were a couple but Dan's mom. Everyone else seemed ready, and willing, to mess things up one way or the other.On The FenceOutside of Dan's conundrum with possibly going to New York, I'm unsure if there is any depth to the other problems in the movie. I mean, 6 years with one girl, who seemingly was his first and only, he doesn't present as something rough, and she doesn't present it as something bad either. Though, you have to wonder if maybe, subconsciously, perhaps he felt like he settled for what got comfortable. Then, when it comes to her, maybe she got more invested in it than him which, perhaps, is the only explainable reason for why, after Dan's mistakes, and an incident which leads to cops coming, they end up going back and forth until a final decision is made at the end of the movie.Final Thought(s): TV ViewingI think what I ultimately wanted was a mature romance. One in which, yes, they fought and had arguments, but it wasn't because some third party was tempting him, or she was put in a position where something bad could have happened. Rather, could there be, for once, a romance film like this rooted in reality? Where maybe they do question, after 6 years, where are we going from here? Are we together because it's convenient and what we are used to, or is this truly meant to be? Much less, when things are no longer convenient, and your dreams are taking you across the country, are we going to work things out, or is that the end of our run?Those were the type of topics I was hoping for, but unfortunately what is presented is 3 incidents of them going from breaking up to getting back together, with each reconciliation making less sense than the last. Yet, despite how many times I rolled my eyes, a part of me must admit I did have hopes they could work it out. For it was just seeing them as happy as can be within the first 5 minutes, which really got me invested. To the point that, despite the type of BS I could not picture anyone putting up with, I still wanted them to end up happily ever after.

I felt like this story wanted to prove something and that is that women can also be the abusive and aggressive ones in the relationship. Have in mind that I'm a female so there's no way this is biased. I'm actually recognizing that men can be victims of abuse too. It happens. The relationship between Dan and Melanie seems perfect to the outside but has an unhealthy nature. They have arguments in which she pushes and slaps him while he tries to keep her away from him. In one incident, after she pushes him, he falls to the floor and hits his head. The blood stars running so they both go see a doctor. The doctor asks him what happened and he lies, she believes him and let them go after saying something like "okay, that's all I need to know". You can clearly see if the situation was the opposite, she would have asked a lot of questions to find out if Melanie had been hit by Dan. A friend of Dan even says so when he tells her what really happened.Then there are more fights in which she seems like the victim but really isn't. He even goes to jail for a whole day just because the police saw them and assumed he was trying to hurt her. There's a moment when the aggressor becomes a victim when she almost gets raped by a random dude.Thinking about it, they are both victims, of themselves. They are so caught up in that twisted "love" they feel that they can't seem to function when they are on their own. That's why she forgives his infidelities and he forgives her aggressions. That's not love that's obsession and lack of self-esteem.