Haeckel's Tale (2006)

George A. Romero was originally meant to direct this episode of Masters of Horror and I really think he should have. The undead is his area of expertise and I think this episode would have been one of the best if he had been behind the camera. Unfortunately he dropped out and was replaced by John McNaughton, who I thought would be able to direct a rather disturbing little movie (as he did the controversial horror Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer). Unfortunately this episode was quite boring up until the final 20 or so minutes where it gets quite interesting and weird. But the first 40 minutes are quite boring with not a lot happening although I never completely lost interest. It was rather disappointing that this episode never reached its full potential as the plot was extremely interesting.2/5.

Now, I have to say that this episode, even though it was a tad slow, didn't suck as much as some of the other episodes in the series. And while I personally really liked 'Henry', I hardly think that makes John McNaughton a master in his field (nor do episodes of 'Without a Trace', not the show I look to for horror) My main comment on this episode, the part that made me totally want my 56 mins back, came at the end.When faced with the undead, the fella turns to run.. THEN STOPS TO GRAB HIS HAT??????? *sigh* Where are all the real masters at??? Honestly- if this show were just called "Horror" I'd be OK with the directors they've picked. "Masters" is a whole other world.. I think only John Carpenter really understands where that world is.

This is squarely in the tradition of AIP/Hammer/Bava period Gothic chillers (with a touch of Romero) which mixed horror and eroticism back in the 60s and 70s on a routine basis, before nudity again became somewhat taboo in our increasingly conservative culture. For me, this one has it all - a naked nympho, atmospheric sets, cool monster makeup, and best of all - ZOMBIE SEX! This is totally a B movie - B meaning going back to the basics of breasts, beasts and blood - and I loved it unashamedly. The scene in the fog-shrouded graveyard with the orgasmic babe being mauled by horny zombies is stunning, like an uncensored full page panel from one of those B&W horror mags of the 70s, Creepy, Vampirella or Eerie - in the full-colored flesh. I'd like to freeze-frame it and hang it on the wall of my tiki lounge. This is the greatest zombie sex flick since "Cemetery Man" and the addition of the zombie baby is a nice nod to Pete Jackson's "Dead Alive." Along with the equally erotic (and twisted) "JENIFER" and "SICK GIRL" - another very entertaining drive-in throwback - this is my favorite of the MOH series so far (season one.)

Right off the bat ... I might unintentionally "spoil" something so keep that alert up all the way through this review. Do not read this review if you are allergic to "spoilers". This is, as everyone knows, a product of Showtime's "Carte Blanche" to the "Masters of Horror". Make your film. Do what you want with it. Go for broke. What director isn't going to rub hands together creating enough friction to ignite a "project" that would never make it to screen in any other venue? The director here is famous for coming out of nowhere and getting a high five for the portrait of a serial killer named "Henry". John McNaughton quickly established himself as a newbie to be reckoned with. Eclectic interests, bold and intelligent. So why would he sink to this level? Because he understands horror. Appreciates it. Embraces it as a medium to tell a tale. This tale (from Clive Barker's short story) is about raising the dead. You got two ways: science and magic. Science flunks, magic wins. That isn't a spoiler. That's a plot strategy. Telling this story on film becomes the challenge. It's a period piece which gives the director access to horrors that wouldn't work in prime time. The writer, Clive Barker, used the bookend strategy to safely transport us there and the film used the same dupe. It works, we're right there in that "era" that makes all the older horrors real and up front. It's all about build and many will be put off by "the build" but remember; this isn't a 90 minute movie, this is a one hour tale. It has little time to build to a quick payoff. "Masters of Horror" is an experiment in cinematic horror. A successful one. Many of these experiments better the horror coming out of mainstream, "theatrical release" horror. If you're familiar with horror you'll see the ending coming. But that isn't a problem. It isn't going for a surprise ending. Ending is payoff. It wraps up with a nice smack of the lips … yes. Will it weld itself to a list of the "top three horror films of all time!" … No. Wrapping this up, I have a question … how many horror films do you know that contain the dialogue (or something similar to) the following quote … "fornicating with the dead". Got a picture?See it here.Nice job.