Bite Me! (2004)

A government experimental strain of large mutant spiders that behave as tics, has left Melpaso, Arizona (near Paramus, NJ) in a crate of marijuana.It ends up at the Go-Go Souros strip joint where the owner needs money fast to buy out his deceased partner's wife. The creatures become a problem.This is the second film I have seen where Misty Mundae is bitten by a spider. Misty is nice to look at, but really doesn't know how to pole dance. The jokes were not great and the situational comedy was flat. The film didn't really get good until the last 20 minutes...if you don't count the soft core nudity. As always Misty films are always fun as she tries to act.Guide: F-word. FFsex. Nudity (Misty Mundae, Julian Wells, Erika Smith, Caitlin Ross)

A romp. A fun-filled, low budget campy horror movie that is an entertaining way to spend a rainy afternoon. More original that many more expensive movies, I became an instant fan of Mr. Piper.Never tries to be more than it is but still manages to surpass many films in it's genre, and even some movies that they spent big bucks on.Misty Mundae, what can you say. The kind of wholesome looking innocent that we would all love to do soft porn with. I really wasn't aware of her "other work" until after seeing this film. Quite versatile, and, uh, talented. The characters were, by necessity, not multi-dimensional (though a few would be great in 3-D), but they were fun and interesting, in an intentionally cartoonish sort of way.

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a Brett Piper film is that we are going to divulge the next hour or so into a stop motion monster fest. You like what Ray Harryhausen did for the genre back in the KONG KONG and CLASH OF THE TITAN days? Then I think you might like what the ole Piper boy can do himself. If you don't mind the gratuitous violence and sex appeal. I'm pretty sure you don't.Some crazy killer weed is being shipped to a strip club where it will soon be distributed amongst the drug induced culture. But before it gets to the club, the first of the carriers get into a little trouble with some sort of spider attack. They seemed to have crept there way out of the crates containing the weed and onto the unsuspecting victims. The next pick up grabs the weed from the now deceased delivery guys and off to the strip club it goes which now a corrupt little weasel gets his hands into it to soon make a quick buck, not knowing what he really is getting his greasy little paws into. Before we get into the bug problem, the strippers Crystal (Misty Mundae), Amber (Caitlin ross), and Teresa (Julian Wells) are over over worked. To the point that Amber passes out while doing a cute and tiresome routine. Teresa is a bumbling goof ball that trips over her own 2 feet. The bar is a little in the slow. The ladies are tired and now the show needs a little pizazz. Well, lets bring in the shipment and now the fun begins. The critters are escaping and chaos ensues. The DEA gets involved since the owner is such a crook, but what he gets himself into is a whole other story. Well, not really but what happens to him is a surprise also. Bugs, boobs, jokes and laughs and a little bit of the goopy red sauce for the extra goodness.I like to say that this would be another viewing for sure. Funny, gory and just plain cool with Brett's stop motion goofiness. The cast does a pretty good job strippin and having there way with the bugs. The only thing I found kind of a rip was the exterminator (Rob Monkiewicz of ARACHNIA and SCREAMING DEAD) playing a direct rip off of the UPS guy on Mad TV. Total rip, a little to obvious but still funny none the less. Usually he plays the serious, good call. It looks pretty flawless this time around with the stop motion. In ARACHNIA, it seemed way to cheap. Almost can't see the seems most of the time in this. Great job on that one.A documentary, How to crash a car in 2 hours featurette, rue Morgue's Festival of Fear world premier screening (I was looking for myself in it but to no avail), Making movies with Misty, CKY video, CKY mini documentary, Booklet and more. This is surely a great bang for your buck if you are weary of cheap films. Kind of cheap but not on a Sub Rosa Studios cheapness. This is great compared to those. Long live the bugs!!!!

I just watched this is movie in one setting. That is quite frankly unbelievable. When you see a video cover such as this one, you pick it up wondering if this might actually be entertaining. Unfortunately, this movie was just so poorly written, I don't know how any sane person could understand it. The most "what just happened!?" part is when one of the dancers suddenly puts on camoflauge gear and starts wielding a gun. You don't even get to see the destructive spider scenes until about the very last 10 minutes. Are the first 70-some minutes considered an exciting build up?? I just don't understand how movies like this get decent budgets to create!!