The Cyclops (1957)

Some day, film historians who have entirely too much time on their hands might attempt to settle the question of which is Bert I. Gordon's "best" cheesy sci-fi film -- which would require hair-splitting on such an infinitesimal scale that in the end it could probably only be resolved by gladiatorial combat.On the other hand, there should be near-universal agreement that this is hands-down his worst. "The Cyclops" is just plain dull, even though it at times rips off -- er, I mean, echoes -- the Greek legend of Ulysses and Polyphemus. Gloria Talbott is literally this movie's only redeeming feature: she's the reason I give it two stars out of ten, instead of one. Well, her and the classic Stinson Voyager monoplane.She certainly emotes her heart out, during that forty-minute scene -- OK, maybe it was only ten minutes, but it sure seemed much, much longer -- in which she and her mates have been trapped in a cave by her radioactively-enlarged, brain-damaged, horribly disfigured fiancé. Ever-versatile Paul Frees supplies the monster's voice, in what may be the longest continuous series of inarticulate grunts and growls recorded outside of a Screamin' Jay Hawkins session.One way you could look at this movie is as a test-bed for plot elements of "The Amazing Colossal Man" and especially its sequel, "War of the Colossal Beast". My advice to anyone who isn't a Gordon complete-ist, though, would be to skip this one and go straight to the other two, which despite their ultra-cheap special effects and lower end of the B-list actors are still somewhat entertaining.

Four adventurers go searching on a radio-active island for the girl's lost love. What they find is a couple days work for a special effects department.Okay, the reason I tuned in was to catch cult favorite Gloria Talbott in another of her Z-grade drive-in films. She does manage to get into a tight sweater, but she also looks like she swallowed a lemon. There's none of that charming fright girl from her classic I Married a Monster from Outer Space (1958). Here she just looks glum, like she can't wait to exit the set. Too bad.The rest of the movie almost reaches camp level. The monster's make-up looks like they stuck a billiard ball in one eye and left a Kleenex on his cheek. Besides that endless grunting almost left me hearing impaired. Then too, Chaney acts like he's going to make up for the general lack of motivation all by himself. For former A-movie actors like Craig and Drake, this must have suggested the end of the road, which may be why they just walk through their parts.Sure, it's easy to make fun of a drive-in cheapo like this. But even on that lowly scale, this Bronson Canyon, LA Arboretum, special is nothing else than a bad horror movie, dear Gloria or not.

Cyclops, The (1957) *** (out of 4) A woman (Gloria Talbott) travels to the Mexican desert to locate her husband whose been missing for three years. She finds him but he's now a huge, one eyed Cyclops. Here's a classic of the 50's sci-fi directed by Bert I. Gordon who would make a career out of these "man/animal grows big" films. The entire cast, including Lon Chaney, Jr. are a lot of fun and the dialogue gets some nice chuckles as well. Gordon made a lot of these "big" pictures throughout his career but I think this one here is the best of the bunch.

Hokey 50s sci fi from Bert I Gordon, who despite the prevalent hokum, crappy effects and cheap sets, keeps cranking fun flicks from the 1950s sci fi heyday. It's one of those films, if you first saw it as a kid, it's left a pretty strong impression, just with the horrendous makeup. That was back before we noticed things like plot inconsistency and illogical character behavior, both of which are pretty rampant in this film. Apart from the monster makeup, which is one of the most powerful and distinctive of all 50s sci fi monsters, Gloria Talbot is the best thing this movie has to offer, as a young woman who undertakes a mission into remote Mexico to find her fiancée, missing for three years after a plane crash. She and her unlikely cohorts discover instead a lost world of gigantic animals (very poorly matter or even superimposed real animals, depicted in large size) and, of course, her surviving fiancée, now grown to gigantic proportions due to radiation abounding in the area, horribly disfigured and mute due to injuries from the crash. There's a still powerful bit of pathos in the confrontation between Talbio and her fiancée, but the rest of the story plays out pretty dully, although the film remains entertaining if you're able to suspend your disbelief and overlook the gaping holes in logic and behavior of the characters. An effective monster movie score from Albert Glasser, who scored most of Bert I. Gordons sci fi films, gives the plot most of its propulsion. This film was reported made in 1955, which puts it as a precursor to Gordon's THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (1957) and its sequel, WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST (1958), wherein the big dude sports the same makeup used for THE CYCLOPS. Other than the similarity in height and appearance, the film's story lines are unrelated.