Corpses Are Forever (2003)

I love a good low budget horror flick, but I can't say anything positive about this one. Even by genre standards the plot is incomprehensible, the acting about as skilled as a middle school play and there is a total lack of scares, gore or even any campy fun.Not worth the cost of the production. Even though that was obviously only $1.50 and a shoestring.It's some deluded film school failure's vanity project and he's currently petitioning for internet help to convince the production and financial handlers to make a sequel. I'm glad they're (thus far) not biting.I wish there was a zero option, as that is what this shoddy mess truly deserves.

I thought I'd seen the worst when I saw Uwe Boll's "House of the Dead" but no, this piece of junk had to come along and give me a new low of just how bad something can get. I'm not sure what happened, at what point the director thought it was a good idea to have him run from set-piece to set-piece using fake looking spin kicks (shot from the side to completely emphasize the point he gets nowhere near any zombie he kicks), speaking in one of the WORST British accents I've heard since Keanu Reeves was Harker in Dracula. If you want a great zombie movie, head over to Dawn of the Dead (either the remake or the original). It has better acting, better zombie scenes, and is an overall better movie. The plot was scattered around with unlikable character after unlikable character polluting the screen with their very presence. It's not even "good cheesy" it's most Definitely "bad cheesy" and bad in the worst way, bad because it doesn't know how bad it is. It's the kind of movie that makes you wish Myster Science Theater 3000 was still around to give movies like this the treatment it deserves.

I got up to take a leak during this movie and seriously considered just stopping it where it was rather than pausing to see the rest. Not a good film by most standards but not without its strong suits. First, budget. Obviously dirt-cheap but directed and utilized in such a fashion that it came off as pretty slick. Second, spunk. The movie didn't take itself too seriously while at the same time not pulling punches. The actors at least didn't look embarrassed to be in their scenes. There were a multitude of problems. First, the acting. Low budget rarely means good acting. This movie is no exception. The one vaguely recognizable Devil character only rings B-movie bells. Most of the dialog is so stilted and forced as to be laughable. Second, the action. There are three or four 'action' scenes in the movie which involve martial arts kicks and mild gun-play. These scenes are so lame and poorly choreographed that I felt embarrassed for everybody involved. It would have been better to leave them out of the movie and suffer the continuity distortion. Third, the storyline. It's quite possible that a plethora of deleted scenes help pull the plot together and help to explain what's going on, but what made the final cut had me confused from start to finish. Even once the b+w to color transitions and strange flashbacks are 'explained' the action doesn't seem to fit the facts. And about three quarters into the movie the story derails and seems to contradict itself as quickly as possible. The pseudo-triumphant, dues ex machina, cliffhanger ending is perhaps the least original thing about the entire movie. I will end with a few more compliments: 1) The blonde at the film's opening is super hot. 2) Two or three scenes involving zombie abuse were pretty funny. 3) The movie quotes one of my favorite lines ever from the movie 'They Live' with Rowdy Roddy PiperThose three things earn the 3 stars. This isn't a very good rent for hardcore zombie lovers or casual horror viewers. It's in the very specific category of low-budget, nifty-directed, and not-too-original. If you don't just love movies like that, you'll most likely hate 'Corpses Are Forever.' PS: There is also a chance you will watch this movie and laugh your ass off the entire way through. I was too bored and found it just not quite funny enough. I'll have to check the message board and see if anybody felt different. Peace out.

I'm always one to give a zombie movie a chance. This was more of a thriller that had zombies in it. Some zombies. The movie tried to impress upon you that the world had been overrun by zombies (why?), but there was never any tangible sense of fear or terror. This was a total vanity project.As a newly minted Debbie Rochon fan, I had wanted to see her performance. The homicidal character she portrayed didn't serve much, if any, purpose. It was as though she was there to prop up the main character as a hottie girlfriend, but that was stretching the truth too far. The lead, in the B/W sequences, looked like a high schooler in a home movie. And it seemed like in every scene he was checking his clip for bullets. And the kungfu scenes... woah boy. And dude, keep your shirt on, that Bacardi bat tattoo was too skimpy looking (not bad ass, but ass-bad).I did like Richard Lynch's over-the-top acting. And, there is something nice about seeing Brinke Stevens and Linnea in another horror film. In fact, I would have enjoyed more seeing Brinke, Linnea, Debbie, and Richard talking about horror films. That would have been interesting. However, this film is truly marred by the deus-ex-machina at the end with Linnea showing up saying "You owe me one (two... three...). In any sequel she would probably show up whenever the heroes were in trouble and bail them out. How unimaginative! Speaking of deus-ex-machina, let's have a serum that induces a flashback and amnesia that has little to do with the story! And let's have a bright white room with no segue to the other scenes. Why, WHY, does one actor bring up John Carpenter's "They Live"? All of a sudden I was thinking about that film, and how much better it was than Corpses. It took all I had not to turn off the movie then and there. I'm a big fan of indie cinema and horror films, but this film simply falls short in so many ways. Total vanity project- it's as if the writer/director shelled out bucks for some talent and couldn't deliver on the script. The positives? Rochon, Quigley, Lynch, some of the lighting, and the car. The zombies sucked. But I'm sure the cast and crew had a fun old making it.