Masters of the Universe (1987)

Firstly, I must admit to not seeing very much of He Man at all-just enough to know that the show is essentially an extended advertisement for an action figure line, and not much else beyond this. This is significant because it reveals one of the central problems this film has right from the starting gun: there is very little meat on the source material to begin with, and already so little of it can be transferred onto an hour and 45 minutes of cinema, leaving the movie as much of a barren wasteland as Eternia itself. Perhaps this explains the film's insistence on taking as much as it can from the Star Wars franchise-anything to add meat to bones, it seems. There is furthermore not much else of value that can save this film from its lack of substance. A disappointingly long stretch of runtime has the film on the planet we humans call home, with the potential of the Castle Greyskull set only utilized in the movie's beginning and end. The performances of most of our actors range from adequately bland (Courtney Cox) to unacceptably terrible (poor Billy Barty), with Dolph Lundgren in particular even more stiff than his hulking muscles appear to be. Should I mention he is the star?The movie is not so devoid of value to the viewer as I perhaps have said it be, however. Frank Langella's turn as the power-hungry Skellator, who seeks to obtain the universe's power, is delightfully show-stealing, cheesier than a Texas grilled. The set of the Castle Greyskull, being used far too briefly, are yet admittedly impressive and do actually have the feel of it being another planet far from ours. And much of the film's action, apart from some quick edits to mask Dolph's apparent poor swordsmanship, is adequately shot and pulls in enough investment. Despite this, Masters of the Universe does not convince this viewer that it holds much worth, seemingly being more contempt as a cliche-ridden, empty shell of its source material and of the Star Wars franchise. I would advise whomever may read this to instead search for clips of Frank Langella as Skellator instead-I promise you that it would be a better use of the finite time you and I have in this universe.

So Dolph Lundgren (aka Ivan Drago) is the most powerful man in the universe, He- Man. Skeletor (Langella) is up to his old tricks again; he's trying to take over Castle Grayskull and the magical power held there to become the master of the universe. In their efforts to thwart his advances He-Man and company learn of his secret weapon; a pair of interdimensional keys. To evade capture at the hands of Skeletor and his second in command Evil-Lyn (Foster) - it's like Evilyn but she's eeeevil - He-Man and company make an interdimensional jump. Guess who comes into possession of the super device? Yup, two unlikely heroes: high school seniors Kevin (McNeill) and Julie (who is played by a super young Courtney Cox).If you are a fan of He-Man, you've probably already seen this, but if you haven't I'd bet it would be a hoot. It's fan-service galore. It's one of those movies that assumes you know the characters and places. It translates to a movie that finds it satisfactory to throw named characters on the screen and call it a day.There are some amusing parts about the movie though. If your quota of the '80's isn't full, this'll fill it. Take the interdimensional key. It's used by pressing a sequence of keys (which emit a different tone)...it's like a synthesizer! Good thing Kevin is the keyboard player in his high school band.If the aforementioned notes didn't suggest, everything about this movie screams Saturday morning cartoon cheesy. Now, the cheesiness, of course, isn't an inherently bad thing; that can be fun every once in a while, especially when it can be found on YouTube. That said, there are almost certainly better things to watch. I'd think I'd recommend this if you want to see good old Dolph action and/or you're familiar with He-Man. Or you could always just watch Rocky IV.

The 1983 cartoon series was entertaining enough, but pretty dumb. Its silliness is fun enough, but this film is actually more based on the action figures and the early minicomics that came with them. There's no Prince Adam alias for He-Man, and Skeletor is no comical villain. The costume design and makeup are very good, and the set of Castle Grayskull is excellent, a fortress celebrating both good and evil in its design. The acting is pretty weak for the most part (although to his credit, Lundgren definitely looks the part of He- Man), with the major exception of Frank Langella as Skeletor. His long winded speech during the climax is a highlight. Jon Cypher and James Tolkan are pretty good too.Not perfect, but I'd say it's the best thing to come from the MOTU series so far.

'Masters of the Universe' is a movie whose problems come two-fold from the conception stage. It is a bad cheap looking movie based on a bad cheap looking cartoon show based on a set of bad cheap looking action figures. After that there isn't much left.He-Man could have been played by any number of last year's contestants for Mr. Universe. But the 'plum' goes to Dolph Lundgren whose wooden expression and personality make him the 'actor' that I least look forward to in any role. He-Man (a character not a million miles removed from Conan the Barbarian) is locked in a sword-clanking battle with Skeletor over the planet Eternia. But who would want it? It's dark, ugly and seems to be under the constant threat of bad weather.Somewhere under Skeletor's awful make-up effects stands Frank Langella but you would never know it. Skeletor is a skeletal creature but his skull looks like a painted plastic mask that someone must have put down a dollar for at the drug store.Anyway He-Man and his warrior friends and Skeletor and his vile band are transported to earth via a cosmic key invented by a dwarf named Gwildor. He was suppose to transport them to another planet but a glitch in the key sent them here. Apparently, the filmmakers decided to forego sending them to that other planet and sent them to California so they wouldn't have to spend money on a new set design.Two American kids find the key and mistake it for something Japanese. They end up helping He-Man defeat Skeletor. What did you expect, a truly original movie where the heroes take that key and go off to new worlds and find wonderous new civilizations and get in adventures with them and then come back and open up mankind to the wonders of interstellar travel and advancing technology? This stuff costs money y'know!