Trixie (2000)

When I first started watching Alan Rudolph's "Trixie", my reaction was that Emily Watson's character talked like George W. Bush. However, it turns out that her malapropisms are nothing compared to the double-speak of those around her. It's basically a satire on the political world. Nick Nolte's senator is truly a slimeball.No, "Trixie" isn't a masterpiece, but it is a fun satire. The character's Archie Bunker-style verbal goofs are the best parts, but there's even more in store, as she ends up involved in a murder plot surrounded by sleazy characters. Worth seeing.Also starring Dermot Mulroney, Brittany Murphy, Nathan Lane, Will Patton and Lesley Ann Warren.

What more can I say. This movie is simply a disaster from beginning to end. The acting is terrible, even from the "big names" - Nick Nolte and Nathan Lane, both of whom looked through most of the movie as if they'd really rather be anywhere but on this set. Someone somehow got the idea that a movie about a woman who wants to be a private investigator but who isn't very bright and can never seem to choose the right word at the right time would be funny. Believe me - it isn't.A typical "funny" line from the script sums it up well: "I'd like a black pot of coffee, please." "Sorry, we only have silver pots." Maybe there's something wrong with my sense of humour, but folks - that really isn't funny. In fairness I suppose there were a couple of moments. When Trixie makes the boys who tried to mug her undress at gunpoint and kiss the ground - OK, I smiled a bit. And the encounter between Senator Avery (Nolte) and Trixie's friend Ruby (Brittany Murphy) at the restaurant was amusing, but I honestly can't think of anything else that tickled my funny bone, and in the end I just found myself looking repeatedly at my watch wishing this thing would end. (At almost two hours it is just interminable.)About halfway through the movie Sen. Avery looks at Trixie and says "I just don't see the point." A feeling shared by anyone who watches this movie and then wonders why it was ever made.Because of the two chuckles I mentioned above I'd like to give this 1.5/10, but - alas - there's no half point here at IMDb. And it just doesn't reach the necessary heights to gain a 2, so there's no option - 1/10.

I have an idea. Mr. Rudolph, whose production history has been less than profound, should make a movie about the making of "Trixie". It is bound to be more fascinating than the film itself. I would pay money to see Emily Watson, Nick Nolte and Nathan Lane explain that they agreed to do this project on artistic grounds. Great script? Deep character development? Big check? I really am at a loss to imagine that real story. This film is annoying, badly filmed, poorly written and simply horrid. It is so bad, that it couldn't even attract a cult following of the lovers of the worst camp. And the talent! The wasted talent! Unbelievable. There are artistic geniuses waiting on tables in New York and L.A., while big stars are making this junk. Perhaps this film's only value is its exemplary illustration of what damage Hollywood ego can actualize in the film industry. If you see this film anywhere, run. That's the kindest advice I could give you.

Good movie. Odd, off balance, imaginative, agitating - everything that an ultra-passive braincell-hybernating spoonfed-explosion stale-cool critics-approved movie pencil-envies. My opinion.