The Watermelon (2008)

I was able to watch "The Watermelon" from start to finish, and that puts it head and shoulders above most of the no-budget films I've seen. This was made possible by a strong lineup of actors; Will Beinbrink's lethargic Achilles was well-complemented by Elyse Ashton's Ex-Wife/Antigone; her delivery was so spirited and over-the-top, that it took two roles to contain it all. Kiersten Morgan was competent as Persephone, but she seemed miscast; she just didn't have that worn, weary look of someone who's had a rough life-- someone whose mind and body have been through the wringer. For me, the standout supporter was Julia Aks. She was the perfect fit for the role of the nutty Artist-- I found her so convincing, that for a few moments, I was convinced that I was watching a real person, rather than a fictional character played by an actor. My complaint with this movie lies with the direction and editing. At certain points, the movie seemed to slow down so much, that I was fighting to keep my thumb away from the fast forward button. Also, the frequent changes among waking/flashback/dream/hallucination states were hard to distinguish, and thus made the story harder to follow. Shortening (or possibly omitting) a handful of select scenes would have made this film much more watchable. Despite this, though, I can say with few reservations that I had a good time watching "The Watermelon".

The reason I'm writing this, my first, review on IMDb is to spare other viewers the pain of trying to watch The Watermellon. In fact, I found the other reviews posted here amazing in that they thought that this movie had some redeeming qualities. My family and I, which includes adult open-minded people, tried very hard to watch the entire movie - but just couldn't! This movie has absolutely the worst plot, acting, make-up, and filming of any movie that I've ever seen. When movies have excessive narration, as this one does, there is usually something wrong with the plot. From the start, one has to endure the narrator telling you what you are supposed to be seeing. The scene in which the homeless young woman drops here towel exposing full frontal nudity is absolutely unnecessary and has nothing to do with the "plot". The acting is worse than any high school play. The make-up, in particular the scene of the homeless young woman, looks more like amateurs on Halloween. Before and during her shower, her dirty/scruffy appearance looks like someone has carelessly smudged charcoal all over her. In short, as someone who loves great movies, and usually enjoys quirky movies, I can promise you that this is neither.

Alright! Finally watched The Watermelon. Held on to it until a friend could watch with me. We laughed at the funny stuff , and really got into it. It is a really fine movie. The Watermelon theme worked well as plot device, but was not overdone. The acting was great.Kiersten Morgan and Elyse Ashton were fantastic! Elyse especially shines here. Steve Shields did a fair imitation of Jack Black as Patroclus. Hemmingson's dialogue was real, never strained.Really enjoyed watching it; would recommend it to anyone. Funny and quirky; I was a little bit reminded of Kill Bill and There's Something About Mary. My friend is a big Hitchcock fan and she thought she saw some of his ideas at play. Very well done.

A simple yet entertaining movie: A pretty normal, boring man inherits a trailer painted like a watermelon, and then enters all sorts of characters who are the complete antithesis of normal. Cue an hour of a half of weirdness for the sake of being weird, but not much else. There's nothing really deep or meaningful going on, but that doesn't mean it's not worth the watch. The acting is superb (Beinbrink's apathetic face is simply charming), the storyline is compelling, the pacing is good. So as long as you don't go into it with overly high expectations or groundbreaking cinema, this film will please. A little trippy, more than a little "what the hell is that person wearing?", and a lot of insanity. Good for a lazy afternoon where there's nothing to do, but nothing to write home about.