The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High (1987)

A terrible movie, but worth seeing if you enjoy laughing at a ridiculous 80's stinker. Everything about it sucks, and I believe thatthe main character, Mike, is one of the most repulsive humanbeings on the planet. I can't imagine anyone ever wanting tospend more than a few minutes with him, left alone a whole nightat the notorious "Paradise Bungalows" as the poor Virgin Queendoes. Unintentionally hilarious, this film contains some wonderfulcinematic moments such as a Daddy Long Legs attack, a 20minute James Bond dream sequence, and a man-in-bear-suitattack. Watch it with friends if you're bored enough, but make sureyou don't see it alone, or your witty insults and snorts of laughterwill go unappreciated.

After reading the reviews regarding "The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High", I was compelled to rent the movie to see if the comments made by other viewers were justified. The reviews were so dire that I needed to see for myself if this movie was really as "inept" as others had claimed it to be. I put the tape in and began watching what was supposed to be the "worst movie ever". I was prepared to add my venomous review to the list, but what I discovered instead, was that I genuinely enjoyed the film. The movie revolves around a nerdish type of guy named Mike (Joseph Straface), who makes a $2,000.00 bet with Randy (Lee Barringer), the most popular guy around, that he can get Diane (Stacy Christenson), the most popular girl around, not to mention the most unatainable one, to a place called Paradise Bungalows. A sort of lover's lane motel in the woods. The antics begin when Mike tries to woo and win Diane's heart with his impish charms and with the aid of his best friend Charly (J.T. Wotton). Through his persitence, Diane begins to fall for Mike's charms and against the adivce of her best friend Judy (Anna Lisa Iapaolo), who also happens to be Charly's sister, she ends up going to Paradise Bungalows for the weekend. Judy discovers the truth about the wager and feels it her duty to inform Diane about the deception. Now Mike must save face with Diane and save her honor as well, by confronting Randy in the climax of the movie.I found the climax reminiscent of a Sergio Leone western and found it a most entertaining homage, as the hero and villain face off in a classic "Good, Bad and Ugly" encounter. It was a stylish ending to a stylish movie.All in all, the Virgin Queen of St. Francis high was indeed a pleasant surprise. It was funny, enchanting and endearing. I found myself rooting for Mike as he went from a bumbling nerd to charming hero. After watching the film I had to conclude that the other critics simply missed the point and compared to the myriad of useless romantic comedies out there, I found this to be a gem. It was fresh and different. The music was great and really added to the overall experience as did the great scenery. I would indeed wholheartedly recommend this film and give it a two thumbs up!

In most respects, this film is a clunker, hence the bad reviews; however, it is only fair to note that what the film is, and what it obviously intended to be, are two entirely different things.I don't know anything about the film's history, but it comes across like a no-budget college student film. Penned and directed by Francesco Lucente, the story is about a wager between two high school students, Mike and Randy. Mike, frustrated by the fact that he's constantly one-upped by the hubristic Randy, bets his nemesis $2,000 that he can bed Diane, the title character, who obviously has a reputation at stake. And the `courtship' is on. However, as Mike undertakes the challenge, he finds himself falling for his intended conquest.Similar plot lines have been used to better effect in recent efforts, namely She's All That starring Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Rachael Leigh Cook, and American Pie, featuring the relationship between Chris Klein (Oz) and Mena Suvari (Heather), both released in 1999. Unfortunately, Lucente didn't have an astronomical budget to work with - heck, none of the scenes even feature St. Francis High. But, low budget efforts have worked before, so that can't be targeted as the primary reason this film doesn't work.The film mainly falls flat for two reasons: 1) a weak script, and 2) a wooden performance by Joseph Straface in the leading male role. Straface just doesn't possess the acting chops to convince the audience that Mike has what it takes to win over Diane, and therefore it isn't very believable when he does succeed in his mission. Even so, Stacy Christensen delivers a respectable performance as Diane, the title character, and Anna-Lisa Iapaolo (now a New York-based jazz singer) as her best friend Judy, Lee Barringer as Randy, and J. T. Wotton as Charles (Mike's best friend and Judy's younger brother), do adequately in their supporting roles. Wotton, in fact, comes across as a natural in front of the camera, managing to salvage many of his scenes with Straface, whose character has most of the screen time. The ending of the film was downright ridiculous, consisting of a `chickie run' between Mike and Randy. I was left with the impression that Lucente chose to work the scene in out of homage to Rebel Without A Cause, a true teen classic, completely neglecting the fact that it was an absolutely pointless maneuver on his part. It just doesn't seem to really fit into the film. It was as though he had run out of ideas and was fishing for a dramatic ending.Although the film does have some heart, it lacks much else to recommend it, save for some half-way decent tunes on the soundtrack. Sadly, I must concur with the overall consensus that there really isn't much going to recommend this film to others, unless you want to be left, like I was, with a feeling of what could have been but never will be.

my friends and i rented it, expecting a cheesey soft porn, and not until after watching the entire movie(which seemed to go on forever), did we realize it had only received a pg-13 rating, and it was like a really bad sitcom that dragged on for hours. i do not by any means recommend this movie!