Spiders II: Breeding Ground (2001)

Am I ready to tell you about the greatest sequel of all time? Yes, yes I am. OK, maybe I exaggerate a little. Because it was a terrible movie. But I preferred it to the first one. Let's start with the bits I liked: the concept was better than the first one. Yep, that's about all I liked. The idea of shoving a load of spiders on a boat is better than the whole NASA space thing they had going on in the original movie. And that's one problem I have here. The sequel about giant spiders actually doesn't really link to its predecessor about other giant spiders. I guess this is just a universe where if science experiments go wrong, the result is giant spiders. Chemistry must be an optional subject at school then...poor kids.Other bad things: - 'Logan'. The whole subplot of the name of the boat not being discovered because it's bad for Captain Badguy is so stupid considering our protagonists must have seen the name of it PAINTED IN BIG BLACK BOLD LETTERS ON THE SIDE AS THEY FRIGGIN' SAILED TOWARDS IT - There is no spider action until the last half hour. (Although there are a lot more than the first film which kinda makes up for it) - Speaking of the spiders, why the f*** do they make elephant noises? Is it because they're really big and we associate really big animals with elephants? F*** knows. - The acting from the two leads is terrible. The main guy is literally so chill when he sees a spider erupt from a naked lady's stomach you can't help but wonder if he's seen this shizz in another life. Maybe he was a poor Chemistry student at school and this is everyday for him. - Luckily the co-pilot of this rescue helicopter keeps a sneaky lil' grenade in his lunchbox just in case he ever has to blow up a f***- off massive elephant spider. - What is that CGI? - What is that kissing? Like this is the most unbelievable married couple I've ever seen on screen. She had more chemistry with Captain Badguy than her own husband. - There is no 'Spiders 3'.

The plot was lame, the acting was horrible, except for Stephanie Neznik, who acts well and looks hot. It's hard to believe she's 43.The special effects look like they came from a high school film class.I was robbed of an hour and a half of my life, i'll never get back.I can't believe I wasted my time after the first 20 minutes, but it's one of those films where you think "it'll get better, it has to, nothing could be this bad."But, it doesn't, it just keeps sucking throughout the entire film.The dialogue was ridiculous and sounded like it was written by some 6th graders.

This movie was terrible, but in a good way. It's bad like a Mystery Science 3000 movie... If you want a bad type of bad where you're expecting something kind of good, see Sideways. But guess what? Spiders II is hilarious!!! Here's some of my favorite quotes: "First cancer... Now this??" "*snickers*" "Don't you understand what the word 'flammable' means???" And those are just a couple nuggets. There's even more to see in this stinker, and they're good'uns!! If you feel like watching a movie just to make fun of it, buy this. If you're too much of a tightwad to enjoy something this bad, don't buy it. I guess I'm not really a tightwad and that's why I liked this movie.

OK, there are some mad scientists entering a ship and forcing the crew and some more good scientists to experiment with spiders until they become large, blown-up rubber monsters running amok and diminishing the crew one by one until the final showdown.What could have been a horror classic in 1931 and a trash pearl in 1961 is just a joke in 2001. You wonder how producers can do such a movie in this decade... I really like all kind of trash movies like this, but the story is to thin, the acting just wooden, with only non-screaming heroine Stephanie Niznik showing some acting abilities and sex appeal, and a really dull direction.The worst of this movie with the great title "Spiders 2" (where have been the first spiders?) is the lack of special effect. While it's rather easy to produce great special effect with today's computer technology, you can see very special effects that where found somewhere beyond the sea probably... a stupidly looking rubber spider that has already been fighting against your Action Man figures back in the seventies, enlarged and dubbed over some ocean pictures... nonsense explosions, unrealistic and really stupid stunts, and smaller or bigger plastic spiders being dragged and pushed all around the burning ship.You wonder if the actors and crew were on dope all the time, or if they had great fun and a big laugh doing this picture... this could be a logical explanation for this baddie that otherwise has no real reason to exist, except if you're looking for another cheap movie for a retro trash film night with your friends a some cans of lager beer, next to, let's say, Van Damme's "The Order" and "Maura's Sexual Fantasies"... in fact, all these three movies were running on German TV last weekend. Have fun!