ReVamped (2007)

Like all good vampires films, it delivers on cleavage. The beginning was good enough to hold my attention. However after the main character re-animated, it went downhill. What started out as a clever campy movie degraded into B grade film. And in my R rated version, the women have sex with their tops on. I would have expected something more physical from super strong vampires: tossing each other around the room, knocking over furniture etc.

REVAMPED is a cheap little cops vs. vampires tale that plays out more like a comedy thriller than a proper horror movie. There are some very cheaply-staged violent moments but for the most part this movie is content to sit back and make a few jokes. The main thrust of the attention is on a series of cameoing stars who must really have been desperate for cash at this time.Fred Williamson is here as a tough-talking cop in what is probably the film's highlight. Martin Kove shows his villainous face for a couple of minutes. Billy Drago is so underutilised that you'll barely notice him. As for Sam Jones, it's quite amusing to note that his acting talent hasn't really improved in the three decades or so since he first came to fame in FLASH GORDON. Otherwise this is fast-paced but still completely generic.

"Revamped" is a curio in the comedy-vampire subgenre, and like many of its brethren it has its faults and its highlights.The biggest flaw for "Revamped" could have been its biggest highlight - the comedy element (or dissolving of). Much of the best comedy of the film is derived in the intro, which is a condensed version of Rector's "Fatal Kiss" (you could say that "Revamped" is a pun in title as a re-make or extended version of the motiffs and themes in "Fatal Kiss"). The original material is just that: really original and completely hilarious. After the intro, the movie takes a turn, which is doesn't quite recover from. Rector holds the best comedic lines, but he is gradually phased out of the movie to allow its many subplots and characters to take over. This is a bad move as Rector carried the original "Fatal Kiss" quite well, and I think he could have done the some in this one as well.The best comedic dynamics belong to the cop duo of Reeger and Peters, who definitely carry the movie in the second half, which unfortunately becomes quite convoluted. A vampire SWAT task force, a legion of evil vampires that want to block out the sun, reference to vampire wars that just occurred, an asylum that is a haven for half-breed vampires, etc. The movie takes on the weight of too much, and cannot carry the load - it instead dumps the comedy for action/adventure: kung fu vampires, police shoot outs, fisticuffs, etc. I think to truly have been successful would to have dropped a few of these subplots, focused on the themes in "Fatal Kiss" (vengeful husband who wants to become a vampire-?), and really maintained the parodies and humour that "Fatal Kiss" did so well.The movie does look higher quality than its budget would suggest, and I would say this is impart from the hard work Rector put into it - it really shows. Taking on the many roles and behind the camera hats (producer, caster, writer, etc.) definitely shows his dedication to his project, recalling perhaps the dedication showed by Don Coscarelli. of "Phantasm".The biggest highlight of "Revamped" would be its endless stream of genre faces. Reggie Bannister, Billy Drago, Fred Williamson, Tane McClure - the movie is an endless parade of great stars that have all paid their dues to the genre in the years prior. Such implied homages by these stars' presence is quite welcome - if this was combined with a tighter emphases on comedy, I believe "Revamped" would've been a quintessential vampire movie.

This guy Rector must be some horny Beverly Hills business man whose dream it was to make a "great" movie opus. His name pops up numerous times during opening credits. He gave himself credit for doing everything in the movie. I'm surprised it didn't say "Catering by Jeff Rector" or "Janitorial duties by Jeff Rector." This piece of crap movie has a range of washed up B actors, porn stars and bodybuilders. Ray Hollit could never act, but she still looks great even though she's been out of the bodybuilding scene for years.Jeff Rector must've had a blast making this movie. I can picture these actors hanging on his every word as if he were Orson Wells, (more like Ed Wood, but less interesting.)The best part of this movie is the DVD cover design. They must've blown their entire budget on it. The design is very well done and it gets 4 stars from me,but I can only give the film 1 very generous star. The cover art was responsible for getting me to rent flick but, boy did I feel duped! Lured in once again by a great DVD cover design. The film is not bad enough to really laugh at--you just sit there and curse this guy Rector, whose seems to be responsible for this large, steaming pile of dung.