Once Upon a Time in the Midlands (2002)

This movie has some of the best, most happening British actors -- Carlyle, Tomlinson, Ifans, Burke -- in it, and still manages to be as exciting as stale, damp bread. And I don't know what it's got to do with the Midlands, as all the lead actors are from anyplace but the Midlands, and there is nothing that links the story specifically to that part of the country, unless that place is supposed to symbolize general working class tackiness. Probably the only reason why this is labeled "Midlands" is so that it can be marketed as being the concluding part of a trilogy, which is a concept that some movie buffs and completists seem to enjoy. The Western motif is also pretty construed, and is mostly limited to Ricky Tomlinson wearing a cowboy hat. The story just ambles on and never engages you. You just watch a bunch of weirdos mouthing off and doing pointless stuff.

OUATITM starts off as a so-so comedy, eventually drifting into the kind of sappy romantic drama garbage that even an 8 year-old can write. There is almost nothing happening in the last 30 minutes - unless you consider Henderson's ping-pong-ball wishy-washy eenie-miney-mo decision-making process to be riveting viewing. In fact, Shirley, though cute in her own strange way and otherwise a solid actress, plays a very one-dimensional woman. She is totally uninteresting, having less to say than a piece of furniture. 95% of the time she wears a sad, hang-dog facial expression, while the other cast members get to clown around, especially Ifans who probably had a ball playing his character. I just wish I had as much fun watching this dull mediocrity as the mostly wasted cast had in getting paid to have the fun they had. British big-screen comedy is once again at a low point, thanks to these kinds of lazily conceived scripts. It takes two days to write this sort of junk, but months to come up with a genuinely funny script - which does NOT end in cliché melodrama. To make things worse, the schmaltzy chewing-gum-pop soundtrack - which includes waste-of-space no-talent whisper-method-singers like Norah Jones - doodles in the background a lot of the time, often setting us up for yet more dullness.

'Once upon a time in the midlands' is a low budget film, and it shows. To be blunt, the film was possibly the most disappointing movie of the year. From looking at the cast, I had high expectations of the film, with talents such as Ricky Tomlinson, Ricky Carlisle, and Kathy Burke etc as well as the famous director himself, Shane Meadows. I feel that the main contribution to the let down of the film was the weak storyline.Thanx!A lot!Thanks!Thank you very much!

I had high hopes for this British film when I saw that it was directed by the famous Shane Meadows and starring such well known British talent such as Ricky Tomlinson, Kathy Burke, Robert Carlyse and Rhys Ifans. However, as soon as the film begins, literally within the first 10 minutes, I was left wanting more from this initially promising premise. The concepts being portrayed display promise but are far too shallow, the story merely ambles along to meet its dreary resolution.The actors give this film some credit, but they battle with a substandard script and lack of any real deep, meaning narrative. The dry humour was so arid that it failed to make me laugh out loud once, and only secured a stifled chuckle on rare occasions. One of Shane's least successful films. I would not recommend it to anyone whom I consider a friend!