Crash Landing (2006)

When a hostage situation arises on-board a private plane with the daughter of a billionaire on-board. Major John Masters (Sabato Jr.) teams up with Captain Williams (Michael Paré) to stop the terrorist and land the plane. Crash Landing tries so hard to be the next Air Force One but it fails on every level from characters, to story and of course acting especially the girl that follows the main "hero" around was so damn annoying, the villain is a joke just like another reviewer said and although there are some good overall moments and it's not as bad as i expected it but it's still not a great movie and the fact that Michael Paré is even in the Poster is actually kinda hilarious he is in the film for about 20 minutes or so? And he does absolutely nothing. (5/10)

In the history of low budget, low level, B and C movies, you've got to remember the name of Jim Wynorski well, because this writer/producer/director is undying icon if only some fair historians rediscover his work, just like it happened with Ed Wood and his masterpieces ! And why not, maybe Tim Burton would be alive to make a mainstream bio-pic named (The Great Wynorski) or (Jim the Dim) ! The first gem I've watched for such a master was (Final Voyage - 1999). It was a Die Hard copy but on a ship (closer to poor, very poor, man's Under Siege, strangely with its heroine Erika Eleniak !!). I felt "all right...this is super, the first action movie without any action !". Thereafter I've been infatuated by this director's work. I discovered that he could be really the new, extremely professional, Ed Wood ! (Crash Landing) is another Die Hard copy, yet in a plane. And when it comes to that I mustn't ignore the historical facts. The disaster movies that center on a plane situation were fashionable at the 1970s (one of the golden ages of the disaster movies). Yet after disastrous experiences at the end of the decade like (The Concorde...Airport '79 – 1979), and 2 parody movies already (Airplane! – 1980) and (Airplane II The Sequel – 1982), the planes' movies with the whole subgenre's blaze went to cool off. However, it took less than another decade to go from die down to Die Hard.It's just the formula that got changed. From a problem that hits a plane (natural disaster, technical accident, a bomb) to just terrorists with always mad leader and Only One Man who stands against them all. That led to (Passenger 57 – 1992), (Executive Decision – 1996), then (Turbulence) with rarely One Heroine this time, (Air Force One) and (Con Air) all in (1997). Simply the international success of most of them generated another wave however on have-not level !Movies like (Sonic Impact – 1999), (Mach 2 – 2001), (Air Marshal – 2003) aren't that famous, not because the no-publicity or the bad distribution, but because they're so uncomplicated movies with no-known stars, no-budget, no-artistic talents and nearly no-amusement as well ! It's an old trend of the B-movies, yet in the age of straight-to-video ones, that could form a subgenre named The No Movies !(Crash Landing) is No exception ! However you must estimate it rightly (basically if you got the powerful patience to complete it !) while keeping in mind the case's usual : The low production. The negligent naive directing. The too customary, slightly smart script. The weak performance, action, special effects. And, my personal nightmare, the forever narrow cadres. So, according to that (CL) is a well meaning small movie that wants nothing but to entertain. And it achieves that, but in a very light way. Though, DON'T BUY or RENT the VHS or the DVD (if they're brave enough to release one !). Just watch it through cable or TV !(Antonio Sabato Jr.) needs more to be (Bruce Willis) or anything good (more acting lessons, true roles, and a direction that gives a damn !), bad shirt by the way!. (Brianne Davis), the rich man's daughter, got here no talent, no charisma, and no role ! Since "Knots Landing" I didn't run into (Kevin Dobson) much, this movie was a nice chance to meet him again : it's always a pleasure to see you Mr. Dobson ! I didn't catch on the reason why the terrorists hijacked the plane ?? Yes, there are many rich people's sons and daughters there, but what were their plan or their demands anyway ???! How a pilot, who has been shot right in the heart, got the power to shoot one of the terrorists, kill her, and complete leading the flight ??! For the goofs section : there is a big board of publicity behind one soon-to-be-killed air hostess while she was exercising at her home, this very board you'd find it again at the so-called airport when (Dobson) was meeting his daughter ??!!Don't you ever go and blame the director! Definitely our dear friend Wynorski didn't have any time to create anything (I think he didn't have that time ever !). He's a very busy man, and how he could've had the time while he got at the same year 7, yes 7, more movies to be made ! FYI in 2005, aside from (Church Landing), big Jim directed (Bare Wench: The Final Chapter), (Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade), (Lust Connection), (Sub Zero), (Komodo vs. Cobra), (The Witches of Breastwick) and (The Witches of Breastwick : Part 2) also ! So as you see the man got no time to sleep, not to create !It's not bad, it's just full of No elements. Not taking itself seriously. So, if you want a contra-Hollywood flick that needs from you No thinking, No criticizing, and No complaining; then this is the one for you. Otherwise, it's one of the most perfect times to say "NO" to a movie!If you're interested, at the same year (2005) there were 2 more movies with a plane, a danger and one heroine - not hero - as well : a semi-yes movie (Flightplan), and a big yes one (Red Eye). P.S : (Jim Wynorski) holds the record for the highest number of aliases a director used in the history of the American movies. He worked under countless fake names like (H.R. Blueberry), (Bob E. Brown), (Noble Henry), (Jamie Wagner), (Jay Andrews), or even (Tom Popatopolous) ! The question now is : Is it a way to perfect a tax evasion ? Or Is it a way to flee from the audience, and delude them with another movie of him?

The plane is a 747 Jumbo. The cockpit is located on the upper deck on a 747. In the movie the pilots do not climb the stairs in the 1st Class cabin to reach the cockpit. They walk to the front of the 1st Class cabin and through doors into the cockpit. What a gaff !!! The front of the first class cabin has a cloakroom for jackets and a TV screen. Beyond that is the radar dome. Before takeoff a 747 is shown to commence the taxi to the runway. On take-off the plane is shown to have only two engines. Areal 747 has four engines. Who was in charge of continuity on this movie ? During the early part of the flight the front of the plane suddenly includes toilets - another farcical gaff !!! After that the front of the plane becomes the rear and vice-versa. At this point I stopped watching. Absolute rubbish!!!

My suggestion..... This movie was really intended to be a "comedy",wasn't it?!!!! If not, the producers, directors, actors & "hair stylists" should really choose another career! Now, the guidelines of my submission requires a minimum of "10 lines". How in the world can I add any more to this? Hmm...Let me see. Oh yes, the beginning of the movie was quite hilarious with the "crash landing" scene. Too bad that the plane didn't hit the tanker truck & a bunch of "martians" would have scrambled out from the wreckage (obviously hiding) and decided to take over the "world" planet and make a better movie. Now, that would have been a great beginning!T