Brain Smasher... A Love Story (1993)

A few months ago, I stumbled upon an online shop selling restored, converted-from-tape movies that had fallen into obscurity, and I found myself fascinated with one movie called "Brainsmasher: A Love Story". A quick look at the trailer promised me complete, unfiltered cinematic insanity, so I eagerly ordered a copy. Post-view, I have to say that despite some blemishes, it was still a fun ride.Teri Hatcher, Andrew Dice Clay, and Yuji Okumoto are all perfect in their roles, with Okumoto as Wu being an absolute delight on screen. The story itself is insane, and must be seen to believed; director/writer Albert Pyun has been well known for these kinds of things. The action was well done and a lot of fun to watch, particularly with the monks (whom must insist that they are not ninjas). It's also strangely satisfying watching Clay knock people about.The movie does slow down eventually, first with an encounter with Ed's parents, then the two being arrested and detained, and then Samantha being harassed in a bar. The bar and apartment scene at least add a lot of interesting character development, but the police one was kinda dull. At least when the monks arrive and begin tearing the scene up, you're excited to see them back on screen.The biggest problem with the movie, in my opinion, is the cop-out ending. The whole movie had been building up to a massive showdown, but when it happens, it's over way too quickly and is pretty messy. Wu is also disposed of in a bizarre, unnerving way (complete with unnecessary sound effect) and the movie slows down once again to give Ed and Samantha a chance to talk before it cuts to credits. There should have at least been some sort of prologue...I mean, how do you go the madness that just transpired? In retrospect, Clay's introduction in the beginning of the film seems like a rushed attempt to fill out the movie after only a set story was filmed. It's a shame, because aside from the abrupt ending and Wu's fist face, everything was going fine.Would I recommend it? Well, it's not as bad as some of the other things Pyun has made - hell, there's way worse made by other people - but it's a fun way to pass the time. I don't regret seeing it, and I'll probably play it for friends who are interested. And hey...it did teach me the One-Two Knockout.

Diceman cometh of age in this fiesty, tongue-in-cheek love drama where the ninjas aren't the only thing that kicks ass. . . actually ninjas do nothing in this movie because there are no ninjas, only Shaolin Monks with a penchant for the theatre of the absurd.Diceman, the most Italian Jewish actor in history, stars as a bold and brash bouncer believing himself to be beyond the behest of beautiful beau, Terri Hatcher. Watching Desperate Housewives these days makes me want to award Terri with a Most Improved Actress award, not because she's any good now, but because her acting in this early piece makes the Diceman look nearly competent. At one point, she actually breaks character and calls Ed by Dice's real first name, Andrew.Does this sound like a negative review? I absolutely loved the movie, being a fan of shaolin monks, Dice, and the beautiful city of Portland. Well done all.

What possessed a good actress like Deborah Van Valkenburgh to accept a role in dross like this ? She must have been hard up for cash to star in such a Z grade flick. Ms Van Valkenburgh is a great Film, TV and Theatre star and deserves much better. Check her out in The Warriors, A Bunny's Tale, Changing Destiny and especially Rampage. A disapointment.

I accidentally caught this film on TV one night on a channel I didn't really get, and noticed it was filmed near where I live. This piqued my interest enough to rent it, and boy was I glad I did. B-Movie man Albert Pyun wrote and directed this hilarious martial-arts action film. It's got a lot of comedy in it (sometimes not intentional) and Pyun manages to even make Andrew Dice Clay likeable! It also has a pre-Lois Teri Hatcher as well. It's corny fun, not meant to be taken seriously, similar to Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. Lots of one-liners, running gags, decent action, and Teri Hatcher, what else matters?