Mummy Raider (2002)

I can't say I'm all that experienced in misty Mundae flicks having seen only a handful, but it's obvious that this was made on a shoestring, and while it might have been respectable that the filmmakers were able to make a Tomb Raider rip-off inside a garage, it isn't because it's completely obvious that this is what they were doing. The film only runs for forty five minutes, and this is definitely a good thing as there isn't nearly enough plot here to stretch it out for any longer. It has something to do with an evil Nazi scientist (who looks about as evil as a porn star playing a Nazi scientist ever could), a mummy, which is clearly a man wrapped up in toilet roll and Misty - this film's version of Tomb Raider, who keeps her top on for much less time than Angelina Jolie did in the big budget version. I have to say that even in spite of its shortcomings, this film could have been better. It's got Misty Mundae for a start, and even better than that if you ask me is the fact that it also stars the even hotter Darian Caine. The pair gets to engage in all the lesbian sex that you would expect from a Seduction Cinema film and this is at the expense of the nonexistent plot, although that isn't really a bad thing. Obviously, this is a rubbish film - but the fact that it's short is to its credit, and if you're after a bit of lesbian sex, you could do worse.

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**The titular topless heroine rescues another beautiful babe and her father (an eccentric professor whose stock pith helmet is broken in one shot and whole in the next) from a moth-eaten, dime-store mummy and nasty Nazis out to--what else?--build a Fourth Reich. Misty's costume, like those of some other wimmen, gets skimpier as the movie rolls on. The last portion of the movie is devoted to protracted lesbian action; this footage actually gets real boring, real fast, which says more about the critters behind the camera than the curvaceous creatures in front of it. MISTY gets its nominal plot out of the way first and fast, then gives undivided attention to nudity and soft-core sex. This makes MUMMY RAIDER a throwback to movies made in the 1960s by guys like Stan Borden, David F. Friedman and Harry Novak. Just think: if this wonder-work had been cranked out four decades ago, it would have played for years on 42nd Street along with WHAM BAM THANK YOU SPACEMAN and KISS ME QUICK. As it is, MISTY MUNDAE MUMMY RAIDER went straight to home video. Grab yours, quick, before it goes out of print.

Esmeralda DellaRocca gives a funny performance as the villainess turned bimbo in this hilarious movie. She puts on a bad accent and a blonde wig to play a Nazi doctor trying to start the fourth Reich. The way she speaks as though she is making the accent up as she goes along will drive you nuts. Misty Mundae is the Mummy Raider and she plays this movie straight and then as a seductress in the final scenes. Those scenes have some of the funniest dialogue I could imagine. If you said those things to a 'grumpy' woman in private one has to wonder if they'd actually work. Darian Caine is believable in even a mainstream action film as the damsel in distress.Unfortunately this movie is only 45 minutes short and is not long enough to be anything more than a sexy Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider parody. The extras in the DVD are bloopers, trailers, a behind the scenes look, and a Misty Mundae special. In summary, I'd say go for it and you'd be the most popular guy on the block.Edit: 5 out of 54 people find this comment useful. Misty Mundae needs to do hardcore porn.

Could this be the worst film ever? Well, I'm sure if I had bothered to watch the whole excruciating film without hitting the fast forward button, I'd say yes. As it is, it's really rather funny in a pathetic way if you throw your DVD player onto ultra-fast-forward and watch as the 'heroine' is chased round by lesbian nazis and mummies with enormous, erect bandaged penises.We watched this film for a laugh, and we got it. But just one laugh, mind you - the joke wears thin very quickly. Glad I didn't pay for it.