Welcome to the Jungle (2007)

I'm an avid fan of 'found footage' movies, be they horror or not. When done well, the genre packs a wicked punch as is the case with the likes of 'The Blair Witch Project', 'Zero Day', 'Exhibit A', 'REC', 'Trollhunter', etcetera. However, there comes a time when all interested explorers of the genre have to put their foot down and announce 'here there be garbage'. Not only is the story-line in 'WTTJ' unforgivably stupid (as if these four completely inexperienced idiots are going to succeed in finding the long-lost Michael Rockefeller on a sudden whim where countless others' well-funded, intensely researched and painstakingly planned expeditions into the un-mapped jungle-clad heart of New Guinea have failed), but the characters are uniformly detestable. Note to aspiring movie makers; all movies (and especially horror) are inestimably aided by having characters the audience likes. Just think of 'Jaws', 'The Evil Dead', 'La Cabina' or even 'Psycho', all of which boast engaging, well-written (and acted) characters whom we actually enjoy following through their tribulations. With 'WTTJ' we viewers are served up four lame-brains so monumentally repellent that we are all but cheering as they get bumped off. Add to this a couple of script howlers (the interior of New Guinea is apparently inhabited by one single cannibal tribe whose home territory stretches several kilometers down one river, and these chaps are in the habit of carrying their human repasts so unbelievably quickly through the thick jungle that our 'heroes' can travel for hours on a fast-moving raft and randomly disembark to miraculously discover their half-eaten companions staked out therein), and some tediously pedestrian direction and you have a one-star-wonder which only rates that because you can't go any lower. Avoid this beggar's banquet like you would a cannibal's barbecue.

American beauties Mandi and Colby and their party-animal friends, Mikey and Australian Bijou, head out to remote New Guinea in search of Michael Rockefeller who went missing in 1961, presumed dead. Sightings of a bearded old white man travelling with natives deep in uncharted territories have the intrepid foursome fired up, so off they go with little more than the most rudimentary understanding of the trouble they could get into.Much has been made of the similarities between this and Cannibal Holocaust or Blair Witch. I've seen Cannibal Holocaust and agree that there are similarities, not least one particular grizzly scene. But I don't necessarily agree that this renders the entire movie contemptible. What Cannibal Holocaust lacked (slick production values, a watchable cast and character development) Welcome to the Jungle provides. Other than the fact that this is a 'lost tape' genre, wherein the entire film plays out through the lens of a hand-held video camera, is the only thing that marks it out as comparable to Blair Witch. The lost tape genre is still a trope rather than a cliché and there are countless other examples that play more accurately to the original format (ie. hauntings, paranormal etc).Welcome to the Jungle scared me a lot more than Cannibal Holocaust, which, frankly, I just found disgusting. I'm not a hardcore fan of gore or shockers made for the sake of shocking, but felt I needed to watch CH simply because of the infamy of the film, the pride I take in knowing the horror genre inside out and being able to post knowledgeable reviews. I also watched Human Centipedes 1 and 2 for the same reason, but that's another story! There were a few issues. The end was confusing and a little too sudden. And there were several instances of 'horror movie victim mentality' wherein the cast behaved not as rational and terrified human beings in a perilous situation but as horror movie protagonists walking obligingly to their doom just so we can watch it happen. Otherwise, this was an enjoyable and nerve rattling ride. The juxtaposition of serious and dedicated Mandi/Colby vs hedonist joy-riders Bijou/Mikey was particularly horrifying to watch. I found myself firmly in the shoes of Colby, which was not a nice experience.Generally a more mainstream and viewer-friendly attempt at the cannibal horror and a brave mix of sub-genres.

I cannot give this film just one star, since it might be prophetic, unintentionally of course, in some way.The USA is raising havoc all over the world or, should I maybe say, the carefree rich part of the USA is raising havoc all over the world. Nevertheless, some rich kids decide to enter the world of cannibals in quest of another rich kid who went missing fifty years earlier in the same region. Are they totally mad or what?Well, for one thing, they are not making revolution in the USA and why should they? They belong to the five per cent richest kids and no nothing of the lives of the poor. There is some indication that two of the four are somewhat less rich but nonetheless carefree just the same. The world, as they see it, seems to be their oyster or private playground, so they think. The only somewhat sympathetic character of the four is the poorer girl and she gets impaled. As for the other three, all you feel is that they get their come-uppance.The rich have gotten out of hand but, unfortunately, I don't believe that there are more than a very few of them that would behave as careless as these four. Still this film is made for some sort of audience like any other film. But is the youth of today really this brainless? I cannot help but feel bewildered when I see this film, not because of the plot as much as because of the characters. I cannot connect to these kids. Their world bears no resemblance whatsoever to the world I grew up in, which was probably as much filled with mendacity but in which we still asked ourselves, more than anything else, what was the proper way to live. We had some hope for the future and felt that things were going in the right way, so we did not make a serious revolution. Kids of today know or should know that things are not going the right way and that they must revolt much more seriously than we ever did but instead they don't even seem to discuss a revolution and maybe plan "adventures" like in this film. I hope this is not so and that this film does not really have any audience at all except for those who like to see rich kids getting a thorough whooping'.

I thought this movie was gonna be good.It starts out at least looking a bit promising but then just when it finally gets to some good stuff it ends leaving you feeling unsatisfied and kind of mad.And let me add that this movie has absolutely nothing to do with Guns N Roses.2 couples set out to find the missing Michael Rockefeller ,who disappeared into the jungles of New Guinea in 1961 and was never heard from again.A rumor from a bush pilot sends the four out into the jungle to find Rockefeller and get rich and famous doing it.After one of the four steals some bones from a burial site the local natives get ticked off.But they might have anyway,who knows? This movie has nothing original to offer.We've seen the cannibal movies before and we've seen the shaky hand held movie documentary style filming before.My question with these supposed self shot movies is would a person really keep filming even after they realize their life is in danger ?Really? You gonna keep the camera light on out in the middle of the jungle at night with headhunters all around?I kinda think I'm gonna shut it off and hide like the sniveling coward I am.Anyway the movie goes along fine and then all of a sudden it's sort of wraps up all quick like and the credits roll.Did you boys run out of money or did you get tired of filming out in the hot jungle?It just abruptly quits before any good gore or terror gets going.Some night time quick glimpses of some gore is about it.No nudity at all even though you got 4 hot young folks out in the middle of nowhere taking swims and sunbathing and stuff like that.I can't recommend this movie ,it just never delivers on it's promise of terror and gore.