Heaven Help Us (1985)

Director Michael Dinner's wildly unheralded film about life in a Catholic boy's school in Brooklyn circa 1965. Andrew McCarthy, in what is probably his best performance (and role), is the new kid at the school, which is run by strict principal Donald Sutherland and ruled with an iron paddle by psychotic Brother Jay Patterson . Kevin Dillon is the school bully and Malcolm Danare is Cesar, a woefully incompetent brain. The movie is full of great things, capturing the look and feel of the mid-1960s with a lot of great (mostly Motown) music. Dillon and Danare are very funny and the supporting cast features Patrick Dempsey, John Heard, and, in an almost sublime cameo, Wallace Shawn, who reminds the attendees of a school dance that LUST is the BEAST WITHIN! McCarthy has great chemistry with love interest Mary Stuart Masterson. The exceptional screenplay is by Charles Purpura, who, it's hard to believe, went on to write the Justine Bateman vehicle SATISFACTION.

OK, so a couple reviewers thought this film was anti-Catholic, and with that attitude couldn't see the film for what it was. A Comedy, with some Drama, and actually a very very good film. Anti-Catholic? "Bullocks!" I say. If the shoe fits, wear it. I attended 12 years of Catholic school in southeastern Pennsylvania... and while this was a movie, with a fair amount of exaggeration (think Pool scene), it was the best representation of those years that I've ever seen. My H.S. was co-ed, but my fathers was an all boys Catholic H.S. in Philly. His 1950's experience with Brothers was spot-on with the movie. My experience in the 1970's in PA was with Nuns. The Nuns we had in those days were identical to the Sisters shown in this movie. Full black and white attire, including flat-top headgear, and firm white covering across their forehead. Nicknamed Crows, Penguins, etc. (I do not mean to be disrespectful here, just saying...) The opening Church scene was as authentic as it was hilarious. The all- girls Mass Communion scene was genuine. As Altar Boys we served reverently (or else), but our minds were all-American boy. One war story I'll share here: In 6th grade, one boy spit into the hair of a boy sitting in the pew in front of him during our weekly Friday 09:00AM Mass. Sister V. didn't see that happen, but when she dealt with the aftermath in the classroom 20 min's later, the boy that did it was thrown over 2 rows of desks and landed in the isle beside my desk. So absolutely, corporal punishment was dealt out on an "as needed" or even regular basis. You did not run home and tell your mother or father that a Nun hit you, BECAUSE your father would beat the tar out of you for doing something, or being part of something, that required a Nun to hit you. True story. When quarterly Reports cards were handed out by our Parish Priest, you'd have thought God himself was coming to your classroom. And you behaved accordingly, or risked the scorn of an angry Nun, which is far worse than the scorn of an angry woman. My compliments to the entire movie crew, writers, producers, actors, all. The Confessional scene is to die for, and that scene alone is worth the price of admission. The interaction between Michael Dunn and Brother Thaddeus was so good it took me back to my own early 70's catholic school years. 5-Stars from this Altar boy :-) Lastly, just so you know I'm not some mincer with an Ax to grind, if I had to go to school again, I'd want to go through the same experiences again. Catholic School: Tough? Yes. Fair? Most of the time. Worth while? Absolutely. Enjoy the movie.

First: I'm not Catholic and I didn't attend a parochial school in New York City. I grew up in the Midwest and most of the Catholic and Protestant students attended the public school system.My partner of many years grew up Catholic, though is no longer practicing -- and he's told me that what is depicted in the movie is pretty darned accurate even given the satire; and I've checked with other who grew up Catholic and they've said pretty much the same thing.So, for some of us -- this movie is a window into what life was like in strict, 1960s-style, just-barely-past-Vatican-II Catholicism.It's interesting to note that the ultra-conservative, fundamentalist tradition I grew up in during that time is not so terribly different in attitude from what the students in this movie (and real-life ) endured: the books we read, the movies we watched, the television programs we watched, the friends we made were all prescribed by our ultra-fundamentalist pastor.I think the movie is very under-rated and well deserves to be viewed in its uncut version.

I liked a lot of scenes in this film.The drawbridge opening and closing on Rooney's(Kevin Dillons character)dad's new car while trying to score with Janine after getting her drunk is my favorite.This movie does address serious subjects,violence towards schoolchildren,the church's responsibility to remove adults with inability to control abusive behaviour which I sure wish the church had done in the 60's,70's,etc to have prevented acts of pedophilia that came to attention later on and the effects of melancholia(not sure I spelled that right).But it is a comedy and though I only went to catholic school in Philadelphia for 8 years(66-74) it sure did make me laugh at many scenes.Donald Sutherland at the end saying "I always hated that statue" after cleaning bird droppings off the statue having been the standard punishment at St Basils is such a surprise near the end that it shows there were good people teaching at Catholic schools and it was not all abuse and punishment(he suspends them for knocking the head of the statue) and when the kids realize they're off school for two weeks they jump for joy.It is a favorite movie of mine.