Rumpelstiltskin (1995)

This knockoff of LEPRECHAUN is slow-moving, considering the flick spends most of its time with people speeding along highways and back roads, and it becomes all too obvious the filmmakers were working with no budget. Good old Uncle Rump is imprisoned in a jade carving in the 1400s and is accidentally freed in 1995 by a young widow with an infant. All the little goblin wants is the baby. Mom understandably stands between him and her baby. Rump slays a few people along the way, cackles a lot, and that's about it. The goblin is clearly pattered on the Leprechaun, and admittedly is occasionally amusing. The young mom on the run reminded me a little of the legendary Betsy Russell of 1980s and 1990s horror films, but without the acting ability. This may be safely skipped.

Watching Mark Jones's "Rumpelstiltskin", I got the feeling that they knew that they were making kind of a ridiculous movie, and so they decided to be as silly as possible. The movie depicts the impish character of fairy tale fame as a child-stealing demon in medieval England. Turned into a statue, he gets resurrected when a widow wishes to see her murdered husband again, and then tries to steal her baby. Much of the movie has him spouting out Freddy Krueger-style puns. I actually found it neat how he interprets everything in modern LA as something from medieval England.The point is that the movie should not be interpreted as horror, just as completely silly. Not really worth your time.

i'm not sure i can rate this movie.i mean,on the one hand,it was very poorly made,not scary at all,with atrociously bad makeup effects,especially during the death scenes.it was however,horrendously amusing and even very funny,but not in any good way.i can only hope the geniuses behind this disaster were actually trying to make a comedy.if not,the world may just be coming to an end.i will say the creature was quite disgusting looking,if that means anything.anyway,you see the dilemma in trying to rate this thing.do we rate it for its comedic value(i use the term value very,very loosely),or based on how pathetic it is as horror movie?all i can say is,if you've seen more than a half dozen horror movies,you probably won't find this thing scary in the least.i see iv'e used up the required 10 lines.thank goodness

Everyone's favourite Passions star (IVY CRANE!!!!) lights up the screen in this horrifically bad schlock horror. (By 'schlock' I mean horror so bad that it isn't even funny!) Now I love bad horror...But this was beyond the joke.A woman, whose police-officer husband has just been shot to death in a car jacking, buys a strange relic in an antique store. Despite the warnings of the badly-dressed witch running the store (who looks suspiciously like Stevie Nicks), she buys the lump of stone that looks like it belongs in the bowl of a public toilet.While she cries at home and wishes to have her husband back just one last time, her tear hits the 'turd rock' and her prayers are answered. Her husband returns and they go at it like rabbits in 7 seconds of tacky, mild sex.After waking, 'Ivy Crane' finds a strange dwarf in her shower with annoyingly squinty eyes and really bad dentures. He demands her first-born child and she refuses.From here, the movie involves 'Ivy' running from the little gremlin and causing the deaths of friends and by-standers along the way.The horror is bland. The supporting cast are probably now in rehab. The one-liners are cornier than creamed corn smeared on a cob of the vegetable of the same name.I now realise why this movie looks so 80s, despite being released in 1996. It was so bad that every major studio turned it down over a period of 16 years. AVOID!