Alien from L.A. (1988)

What I'd really like to see is a "behind the scenes DVD extra" of the creative process conversation that apparently went something like:"Hey, let's cast of the top bikini models in the world like Kathy Ireland as the female lead, then dress her in REALLY baggy clothes for almost the entire movie.""Sounds great, and we can make it even better by having Kathy use a squeaky, annoying voice and give her messed up hair and big, ugly glasses.""Okay, go for it and see if you can wrap it up with hokey dialog and high-school film project production values. Also see if you can somehow cut in a couple of scenes of young boys wrestling in a pit even if it has nothing to do with the story.""Great, this one should be a real winner. I can't wait for the awards to roll in."As a bonus hopefully they could also include some reaction shots from the film's investors when they saw the resulting movie.

What a great movie. With a dark, dusty visual style every bit as good as "Bladerunner", with costumes & props every bit as good as "Mad Max", with a totalitarian theme every bit as good as "THX-1138", and with a satirical wit every bit as deadpan as "Robocop", this film was quite an achievement.It has so much going on... For me, one of the strange highlights was seeing Deep Roy (who played the oompa loompas in the recent "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory") as the sinister crime boss... sort of like the Godfather meets Tattoo from Fantasy Island. Another winning performance was Kathy Ireland herself who managed to pull off a sort of Alice (in Wonderland) but with a voice like Betty Boop. How she did that & keep a straight face is beyond me.The plot is simple yet bizarre, a sort of pastiche of "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" mixed with "Wizard of Oz" and maybe some bits of "Sixteen Candles" thrown in for good measure. I don't understand how MST3k could mock this film as it already clearly mocks itself. I mean, come on, with Kathy Ireland's crazy helium voice, it's pretty obvious that nothing is intended to be taken seriously. Still people just don't get it, thinking this is a bad movie. On the contrary, it's so good at making fun of itself that nobody realizes it.In that sense it's a lot like "Barbarella" except with the sexiness considerably toned down (yes, so if you came here expecting to see some gratuitous cleavage & booty shots of swimsuit models, you're better off with Baywatch). I'm not sure what its official MPAA rating is, but I'd say it's a very tame PG. And that's precisely what makes it so unexpected and hard to categorize. You'd think it would be a scifi sex farce like "Barbarella" or "Galaxina", but it is definitely not (although I wouldn't discount an occasional adult double-entendre or two).Expect something maybe like "Labyrinth" but with a harder edge and a much stronger sense of satire, and I think you'll have a blast. Like Labyrinth, it's clean & family friendly, but there's definitely a darkness & sophisticated sense of humour that makes it clearly for grown ups too.Pay no attention to the MST3k lemmings who rated this a 2.5 out of 10. If you go into this expecting to have a good time, you won't be disappointed. The visuals alone are worth the price of admission.

Love him or loathe him, director Albert Pyun will always manage to divide his critics with his movies. My initial initiation with Pyun's vision was Radioactive Dreams, it had a quirky charm, two decent actors in the leads and a really good soundtrack courtesy of Sue Saad and Drock.Back in my teenage years, my movie tastes were mainly geared toward horror movies and anything remotely B movie orientated, and it just so happened that Albert Pyun was making such movies primarily for one of my favourite film companies Cannon Films. Inc.One such B movie, made for very little, if Cannon didn't want to spend too much, Albert Pyun was always on hand to squeeze every ounce of the budget he was afforded, and one such movie that he lent his talents toward was Alien From L.A.How would you describe Alien In L.A? back when I first watched the movie I was only seventeen, and all I knew was two things, it was a Cannon production and more importantly it was a film by Albert Pyun, having watched the movie for the first time in twenty-three years, and grown a few decades older, I viewed the movie and garnered a few thought about it.Well its a fairytale, as the once upon a time in the opening proclaims, we then catch sight of Wanda as she is being dumped by her boyfriend for being dull and annoying, that last remark is in part due to her voice, which is ever so slightly highly pitched, oh and she is also lacking in ambition and adventure.So cue a letter relating to her supposed late father, informing her that she must come to Africa in relation to her father's disappearance, so in a blink of an eye we are treated to a myriad of visuals, some severe lapses in storytelling.Granted the movie utilises Jules Verne's much told Journey To The Centre Of The Earth, but it also adds a dash of Indiana Jones and King Solomons Mines, plus and I mustn't forget the fairytale take on Alice In Wonderland, especially as Wanda(cutely played by Kathy Ireland) in pursuit of answers about her father falls down the rabbit hole and straight through the looking glass and wakes up in the fabled underground city of Atlantis.It all sounds pretty cool, and truth to tell, one look at the cover and reading the synopsis back in 1988, I was hooked! Although to be honest the main draw was the director, and having just viewed the movie prior to drawing upon my thoughts, it is still a visual treat on the eyes, and the storyline is clearly visible, but the execution is truly all over the place.Another painful aspect is the accents of some of the characters, especially William R. Moses, an underground opportunist, when he first spoke I thought to myself, is he Australian? is his mouth full of apple's and pears and was he in fact trying his hand at a cockney accent, but then he sounded like Vincent Klyn's Fender character from Pyun seriously cool Jean Claude Van-Damme futuristic actioner Cyborg.In the end I just gave up trying to decipher was he was trying to do, but then nearly all the featured players were also affecting faux-pas east London accents, I guess what made it really annoying was the fact that the actors portraying these roles were all South African actors and you could really tell, if you've ever watched any South African based, American set movie, you'll always tell by the accents.For all the bad things to be found within the movie, there are some good, and these good points lean toward the presence of Kathy Ireland, Deep Roy and longtime favourite of Pyun's Thom Matthews as Wanda's Prince Charming, which leads to the obvious happy ending.I've always believed that when Albert Pyun worked under the control of Golan/Globus, that yes they saw that he had potential, but did they harness that potential properly, by cutting the budget's and working to a tight schedule, certain things had to take a back seat, and in this case it was the story structure.Such things are still present with every movie Pyun has made, from his Cannon days straight through to his Filmwerks output, great ideas but severely lacking in a cohesive execution.The upshot of all this? check through Pyun's back catalogue and track down his better efforts, the already mentioned Cyborg and that other classic actioner Nemesis.My generous rating is 3/10 and that's for the presence of Pyun, Ireland and Cannon Films. Inc

A California valley girl named Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland), desperately searching for a means to make a new start and escape her nerdish tendencies, goes to Africa in search of her absentee archaeologist father following reports he may have fallen into a bottomless pit only for her to stumble and fall down the same hole. She winds up in a bizarre and strange underground city named Atlantis which just might be at the center of the Earth. There she befriends a miner she calls "Gus" and continues searching for her long lost Papa. However those dwelling in the underground city have heard rumors of there being aliens from the surface world hidden amongst them and despite the government's constant denial that aliens exist on television, they still offer rewards for the capture of anyone who might be thought an "alien" making Wanda a target for many unscrupulous types.This is a relatively harmless fantasy time-waster. In fact, the non-discriminating fantasy viewer may actually enjoy this one. This is kind of like a California Valley Girl version of ALICE IN WONDERLAND with a bit of THE WIZARD OF OZ thrown in filtered through a BLADE RUNNER-esquire setting with the train of events playing out rather like SPACEHUNTER but this movie isn't anywhere near as good as any of those. I have to admit I actually had fun watching this though it's just so outrageous and outlandish in its approach. The sets too prove surprisingly effective for a low budget movie. Plus I always get a kick out of the state controlled television announcements which prove incredibly transparent in their intent. While this is definitely not for everyone (it stars Kathy Ireland who's really no actress, borrows most of its plot from other movies and things always feel a little too safe and sure for our leads), there are those who might find enjoyment here although it's a little tough to explain why exactly. Just the harmless fun of it all I guess.