Dracula's Widow (1988)

Francis Ford Coppola did a great job with Bram Stoker's Dracula so I was looking forward to this one directed by Francis Ford Coppola's nephew, however let me say this was Chris Coppola's first feature, and this was filmed before Bram Stoker's Dracula. The plot is relatively simple enough, which is a good thing if you ask me. When an eccentric owner of a small wax museum in Hollywood receives an extra crate which has Dracula's wife, Vanessa in it, all the problems begin. If you like gore, there is quite a bit of it. I'm personally not into that, if the gore was there to show some kind of dynamic between how sensual she is and how violent she can be, it would have been much better for me, but I didn't feel that kind of relationship. The main problem though I have to say is with Vanessa herself. The 80s business suit she walks around in the entire duration of the film seemed like a waste of wonderful possibilities. With Dracula's wife, they could have had historical costumes to something along the lines of fantasy and so on. Her personality was also unattractive, with someone like Sylvia Kristel they could have explored a sensual/dominatrix style character, Dracula is a sex symbol, you would assume that his Queen is similar. The yelling and tantrum like parts were not attractive. The scene with the Devil worshippers was memorable and I wish it was explained a bit better. Always nice to see a Van Helsing in a Dracula film, the part where he is reading an old book about Dracula's wife and acts like it's the first time he's ever read that made me raise my brow. Nice to see the main character's GF sleep walking, for some reason I like seeing sleep walking in vampire films. All in all, it had potential, I would like to see a remake! -2 (for senseless gore and Vanessa)

I didn't expect a masterpiece in "Dracula's Widow" of 1989, but I was still somehow disappointed. Directed by Nicholas Cage's brother Christopher Coppola and starring 70s sex icon "Emanuelle" Sylvia Kristel, "Dracula's Widow" may not look like a promising Horror film as such, but at least I expected an entertaining sleaze and gorefest. My humble expectations were not reached, however, since the film features hardly any sleaze and the gore is existent, but not to an extent that would make the movie worthwhile. The performances are amateurish, of course, but that was to be expected, so I don't regard the lack of acting talent as a flaw. Nothing in the movie really makes any sense, and it is only the joy of seeing Sylvia Kristel as a lady vampire, as well as some pretty funny parts that make the 86 minutes endurable. My favorite character is an old antique dealer who happens to be Dr. Van Helsing's grandson. In the funniest part of the movie, the old fellow, who looks like a friendly grandpa, takes out a hammer in a morgue, driving a stake through a corpse's heart with the words "In the name of my grandfather, I destroy you". Moments like this (and Sylvia) make the movie bearable, but it is definitely quite tiresome, even though it's not even 90 minutes long. This was the first "Dracula" attempt by a Coppola family member, Christopher's famous (and usually brilliant) uncle Francis came along with a kitschy and over-hyped mainstream Dracula film in 1992. As far as I am concerned, the Coppolas would be well advised to keep their hands off the Prince Of Darkness in the future. "Dracula's Widow" is only recommended if you really have nothing better to do.

When a film is titled "Dracula's Widow", and we see the title character seducing and killing a guy within the first 5 minutes, what's the point of having nearly half the running time taken up by a police investigation that can only eventually lead to what we already know from the start? Also, I thought that getting bitten by a vampire wasn't enough to make you a vampire, you also had to drink blood from the vampire that bit you. Ah, never mind, it seems that every movie in this genre is making up its own rules. Sylvia Kristel is pretty bland in a role that a better actress could have done MUCH more with, wears an awful wig, and doesn't provide any nudity either. The special effects are mostly terrible - when Kristel is in full-beast mode, she looks more like a werewolf than a vampire! The lovely Rachel Jones, as the hero's girlfriend, is one of the film's few bright spots. (*1/2)

The only reason I am commenting on this dumb '80s B-movie is because this is the first R-rated movie I rented at the video store when I was 14 back in 1990. It wasn't the first R-rated movie I saw in my life, but I remember this was the first one I rented and got away with renting at 14. So I will always remember this stupid piece of filth. I was hoping for loads of nudity and plenty of sex scenes back at that age. I spent the whole time fast forwarding to "the good parts", but alas there really weren't any. There is very BRIEF nudity in here and ZERO sex. Oh yeah, the story sucks too and its not scary or interesting in the least bit.