Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

and makes your "Death Wish" a "Sweet Dream" next to Bronson's! This is the sexiest, most ridiculous, fun, sarcastic, action packed, thrill ride of movie you don't want to miss. Clive Owen is deadpan funny, witty and sentimental all in one package, and speaking of packages, then there's the finest product to ever export from Italy, Monica Bellucci, and let's not forget Paul Giamatti in one his finest villain roles. Sure there's some over acting, questionable dialogue and implausible feats of skill, but that's a big part of why this is maybe the best masterpiece of action movie spoofs ever made. "Smith" out Punishes "The Punisher", and the movie is driven throughout with both some fine and silly, yet an unrelenting supply of snappy repartee. The only corny action hero motto left to be made is, that I wish he had outdone Arnold with an "I'll Be Back!, Hasta La Vista, Baby"...to the Baby.

Clive Owen stars as a homeless man named Smith who goes to the aid of a mother being pursued by gun-wielding thugs. When the mom dies in the ensuing battle, Smith takes it upon himself to protect the baby from the army of killers after him. Along the way he enlists the help of Donna (Monica Bellucci), a hooker and eventual romantic interest. As the film progresses the plot gets more and more insane, eventually leading to the White House.There are a couple of things that make Shoot 'Em Up great and a lot that holds it back. The negatives first: the settings are extremely ugly and dull, falling under the Industrial Action category I discussed with Terminator. Lots of abandoned warehouses and gray and brown cityscapes that leave little impression on you as a whole. Even if the action is inventive, I feel the movie loses a lot of memorability because of how bland the sets are. Another negative is that I felt the direction didn't go far enough to make the quick cut style work. It's very Crank-like in the careless and spastic direction but doesn't have Crank's style. Rather than add some unique camera-work or filters, something along those lines, it just goes for the quick cuts and heavy metal music. It works to a point but feels weak overall.These two facets make it easy to understand why Shoot 'Em Up has been buried ten years later by action and exploitation/schlock aficionados. Despite Crank being on the dull side as far as sets go, it had that unique style that made even those locations interesting and fun. Even with action as entertaining and ridiculous as that of Shoot 'Em Up, it doesn't make up for the lack of character in other departments.Speaking of action: the action is dynamite and never lets up. Eighty minutes of wall-to-wall shooting action is a rarity and a treat and Shoot 'Em Up does it with flair. Clive Owen jumps, slides, and rolls around in an obvious homage to John Woo. There's a shootout while he has sex with Donna, a playground sequence where he shoots a roundabout, and even a skydiving battle complete with awful green screen and CG effects. While I wouldn't go so far as to say that the action is entirely memorable or brutal, there's enough of it and it's just stupid enough that it keeps you glued.The main selling point of Shoot 'Em Up in my opinion is Paul Giamatti's absolutely brilliant performance. He plays one of the most memorable villains in action cinema history, a hilarious, weird, and completely uncouth baddie who says nursery rhymes, tries to decide what birthday card to give to his child during an action scene, molests a corpse, delivers the best lines of the film ("Guns don't kill people…but they sure help!"), all with this cartoonish tinge to his acting that you just have to see to understand. If Giamatti wasn't in this film, it would probably never have found a following. It's a rare case where a single actor carries a movie.That leaves the movie with a real crisis. On one hand, I love it for Giamatti and the Looney Tunes-esque violence. On the other, it's an ugly film with little real personality outside of the intentional silliness. To me, it's a good time despite the issues. It's short, fast, and delivers where you want it to. It's a reliable choice for an action fix.

Carrot chomping Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) sees a pregnant woman chased by a man. He comes to her rescue but more killers follow. In the shootout, the woman delivers her baby. The woman is killed and Smith escape with the baby. Karl Hertz (Paul Giamatti) leads his men in hot pursuit. Smith tries to leave the baby with madam Donna (Monica Bellucci) but she refuses. Karl arrives at Donna's but Smith is able to rescue her.I really like the ridiculous action and the lack of an introduction. It's outrageous and the movie doesn't care. A blow job to buy a baby bulletproof vest is funny. Writer/Director Michael Davis needs a bit sharper visual and editing style. He also needs to hide the Toronto location a whole lot better. Despite being a movie of ridiculous action, the parachute action goes too far and it doesn't particularly look good anyways.

Shoot 'em Up (2007): Dir: Michael Davis / Cast: Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Monica Bellucci, Stephen McHattie, Greg Bryk: Title pretty much sums up the potential of this dead beat action crap. Clive Owen plays a hit-man of sorts under the name Mr. Smith who intervenes when a group of men are pursuing a pregnant woman. He delivers her baby while dispatching every thug within reach. She still ends up dead but he finds a prostitute to assist in looking after the kid. Then it is more bang, bang, bang, bang, bang! Director Michael Davis can film action but the screenplay is one big piece of sh*t. A third grader can write better stories than this. Owen is unsympathetic especially seeing him kill someone using a carrot. Does it not occur to him to eat it? Now they're using items in the produce section in the grocery store to assassinate people. Lord forbid he show up on the scene with a fully stocked picnic basket. Perhaps we may see action films heading our way that present cooking show hosts as action stars. Paul Giamatti steals scenes as the villain who is often interrupted with phone calls from his wife. How this is settled is a cheap laugh but at least Giamatti puts in an effort. Monica Bellucci looks stunning as a prostitute but does little more than flee the scene. She should have fled to the set of a better film. Action scenes are well done but it should be used as target practice. Score: 2 ½ / 10