The Brand New Testament (2015)

To many, this movie will seem blasphemous, but I think God has a sense of humor. After all, he appeared as a George Burns impersonator in that movie about himself back in 1977, a wonderful story actually that everyone should take a look at.I thought this picture had pretty good potential starting out, particularly with those Laws of Universal Annoyance that the script writers came up with. Like #2129, the phone will ring whenever you get in the bathtub. But then, and perhaps because this was a European picture where they take religion even less seriously than we do here, the film starts hitting on all the liberal points of view as they regard one's personal view of God and relationship with the Almighty.For one, the God (Benoit Poelvoorde) in this picture is a reprobate, swilling beer and generally making a nuisance of himself to his family and the rest of the world with those annoying laws of his. The apostles God's daughter Ea (Pili Groyne) selects are an assortment of random misfits, which include a killer, a sex maniac, a woman (Catherine Deneuve) who established a bestial relationship with a gorilla, and a ten year old boy who wants to be a girl. Yup, just the sort of role models one would seek out if attempting to save one's soul from the hell fires of damnation.The one concept the story did a fairly decent job with had to do with Ea's release of the dates God had on file for when everyone in the world was going to die. In a less than absurdist film, this idea could have really been explored without the farcical elements like that guy Kevin (Gaspard Pauwels), who apparently didn't get the download that all bets were off after Mrs. God inadvertently rebooted the computer. That everyone's life would undergo some significant change if one's death could truly be known is a given, so I would have appreciated a less cynical approach. Personally, I'd like to think I was going to live forever, and in the meantime, so far, so good.

Nowadays a film like this one by Belgian veteran Dormael is quite the rare bird. "Le tout nouveu testament" is at once sweet and brutal, maudlin and without clichéd sentiment, magical, yet grounded, funny and heartfelt without being nauseating; simple with moments of profundity but without being forced. It has Beatle-esque messages: love is all you need, live life on your terms and don't be a victim of what you may perceive as fate.Ea (who is played masterfully by Pili Groyne) lives in Brussels and is the daughter of God or Dieu (Benoit Poelvoorde), a salacious, abusive and bitter creator of mankind, who browbeats his peaceful loving wife and crucified his only son for going off the beaten path (which meant ditching the cynicism and self-hatred of his father). Ea at ten years old grows tired of her father, takes the advice of her older brother who in the film is a living statuette of himself on the mount, and hijacks her father's computer, a computer which controls the whole of mankind. Soon everyone in Brussels gets a text message stating the exact amount of time each person has left to live. What ensues is anarchy of sorts—people begin to live on their own terms. Ea then escapes to Brussels through her families' clothes washer that doubles as an Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole to the city, where she has set out to find six apostles to add to her brother's twelve to round out the number to eighteen—the number of players it takes to play a proper baseball game…Ea's saintly mother's favorite sport. Thus, the adventure begins with an angry God on her heels.The storytelling is beautiful and though it is complex and quick to add characters with their own story lines the plot is never allowed to get out of hand. The scenarios, the dialogue, it is all taut and witty and for the subject matter full of originality. The set designs by Sylvie Olive and Pascalle Willame are truly brilliant and have been aptly awarded. The lush cinematography at the hands of Christophe Beaucarne (who has worked on other visually striking films "Chicken with Plums," "The Blue Room," and Dormael's own "Mr. Nobody") finds a striking harmony with the overarching majestic sensibility that rushes from the film, start to finish. The CGI (which I am admittedly picky about how it is used) works in perfect accordance with the brilliant color schemes and precise compositions that allow infinite space for flourishing impressionist absurdity. The acting is wonderful and charming…not to mention Catherine Deneuve falling in passionate love with a gorilla. But, that being said, Groyne doesn't only hold her own on screen with a living legend like Deneuve—she is the screen."The Brand New Testament" does irk me. I watch and I think aloud, "This is what Hollywood should aspire to: Intellectual, entertaining, funny, absurd and magical well-crafted filmmaking." We shouldn't have to buy a man from Mexico to give us "Birdman." Why should we be afraid of the whimsical? Everything that is done well always has its place in moderation. The writing and construction in "The Brand New Testament" is taut and witty, without the tongue in cheek. It is writing that puts the sentimental, the brutal, the happy, the sad, the magical and the mundane in its proper place at the proper time and takes blasphemy and the people who will accuse the film of blasphemy and gently but with a s**t eating grin eschew them through Ea's rabbit hole. If you want to watch a fun,well crafted, thought provoking film that evokes similar unapologetic fancies, emotions and styles of Jean-Pierre Jeunet's frenetic,ultra-cute "Amelie" or even Tim Burton's film of visual wonder and thematic sentiment "Big Fish" then setback and enjoy. With or without God, cinema can still be magic.

If you have a taste for strange, different kind of humor, then The Brand New Testament (Le tout nouveau testament) is for you. God lives in Brussels with his wife and 10 years old daughter, in an apartment without windows or doors. He is a bad husband and father, and spend his time having fun with his human and nature creations, creating laws and disasters. One day his daughter has access to his computer...It is a comedy where you have dense characters, and no one laughs, only you. You will find connection between all little elements and actions of the movie, and that is geniously amazing!Just go and see it!

This film has a few beautiful, artistic shots, mostly due to special effects. It sounded to me like it had potential, but the blatant propaganda that runs throughout the film is actually overwhelming enough to have made me skip through scenes.God is depicted as a violent, stupid, powerless raging maniac. Alcoholic and child abuser. He spends all his time creating "shitty situations" for the humans he had created.His daughter is the metaphoric Satan/Lucifer who rebells and gets kicked out of heaven. She hates her father and despite being prepubescent, uses words like "shit" and "fuck" extensively. I mean isn't it a beautiful story already?She then goes on to find 6 disciples. An adulterous woman who has no problem sleeping with a married man, a sex maniac, a person who kills for fun and pleasure, a perverted grandma who leaves her husband to have sex with a gorilla, and a little prepubescent boy who really wishes he could have been a girl.There is tons of anti-Christian, anti-spiritual, pro-gay, pro trans-gender and beyond propaganda. In the end the "goddess" mother, who is not at all a part of the Christian trinity, by the way, takes control and makes the sky psychedelic, removes gravity and allows people to walk underwater. This "magical" world is supposed to be better than our already beautiful world... Then all the perverts and psychopaths live happily ever after. Prepubescent kids kiss on camera, and basically the satanic propaganda message is presented in it's full glory. The objective seems to be to get viewers brainwashed and programmed for the coming new world order.