Train (2008)

The Torture Porn Genre really has No Place left to Go. It has Run its Course and this is Just another Example of one of those Last Gasps for Die Hard Fans. Torture is Torture, Everyone Gets it (except Dick Cheney) and like Porn, You Know it when You See it.So here's Another if You're Interested, but You may want to Grow Up and Refine Your Taste. But to Each His Own and this ones for You. There is the Requisite Young People being Captured, Flayed, Castrated, Mutilated, and More. Also, a Necrophiliac is on board for the truly Sick Voyeurs that Derive Perverted Pleasure from Their Entertainment.This Type has Burnt itself Out. Speaking of Burned Out, Thora Birch was a Child Actor and has done some Good Work in some Good Movies growing up. American Beauty (1999), Ghost World (2001). But here She Looks Haggard and Disinterested (who can blame Her?).There are a Few Scenes with some Surprising Genre Extremes but as a Whole it is a Darkly Lit, Murky, and Unhealthy looking Movie with very Little Style. The Third Act is the Best when things Broaden a Little and the Back Story is fully Revealed. But by then, the Movie has Run well Past its Welcome for Anyone but the most Sadistic Types. This is Beyond Cathartic, Typical for the Genre, and is Artistically Anemic and Nothing but Repulsive.

TRAIN is a one-note film with a one-note idea: somebody, somewhere said "let's make HOSTEL and set it on a train". The project was greenlight, and this movie was born, a vehicle for former Hollywood starlet Thora Birch produced by her former porn star father, Jack.And, unsurprisingly, it turns out to be pretty rubbish. This is low budget, xenophobic nonsense throughout, shot in Eastern Europe and happily ripping off HOSTEL left, right, and centre. The story goes that a group of American gymnastics students are stranded abroad and suckered into boarding a decidedly dodgy train, where the usual shenanigans arise. This is a torture porn film and nothing else, so whether you enjoy it or not depends on how much you like seeing people getting bits snipped off them at frequent intervals.The film boasts poor acting, one note characterisation, and bad direction. Thora Birch is just about adequate as the heroine, but the rest of the cast aren't up to much - apart from Gideon Emery perhaps, as the only distinctive one of the group (he's playing a gay, dope-smoking elder who hooks up with the rest). The villainous motivations are ludicrous, and the film really drags despite the plentiful action and many death sequences. I was also surprised at the sheer number of plot holes and goofs along the way, which indicates it was probably written and rushed out in a hurry to cash in on the success of the (thankfully) short-lived "torture porn" genre. In any case, it's a dog of a film.

This film was not at all what I expected. There seemed little motivation for this movie except to reinforce the stereotype that anything in Eastern Europe is dangerous. What I want to know is this - why is it in this and many other movies do Americans hand over their passports to untrustworthy strangers? After this, the hapless tourists wind up in one improbable blunder after another while committing every cliché horror movie mistake along the way.The acting is acceptable, and one had enough sympathy for the main character, played by Thora Birch, to see it through to the end, although the movie never satisfactorily explains how a young, vulnerable woman without ID can nonetheless get her credentials and passport back. While we do not expect horror movies to be realistic in every detail, we do expect not to have gaping holes in logic (unless explained within the movie itself).

This is one train journey that I never bargained for! And I mean that in a positively butchered sense :) I've watched many movies that has horrific violence but not at all engaging. But in Train, I was hooked to the proceedings from start to end. Director Gideon Raff ensures our attention throughout. The show-stopper of the movie is the lead actor Thora Birch with a stupendous performance. All the other actors paled in comparison, maybe it's because their roles were pretty weak too. But no memorable roles among the villains too here as all of 'em have a forgettable screen presence, which's really a negative. Verdict: Still want a moving blood & flesh show that holds your attention for nearly 90mins? Hop on this train :)