The Normal Heart (2014)

The cast and crew no doubt, found this a difficult movie to make. Being barely a teenager in the early - mid 80's, this movie pushed a lot of buttons for me. The tragedy, the fear, the advertisements on TV, the statistics and newspapers kept me firmly in the closet and firmly and completely non sexual. I understand the sexual scenes were required and the promiscuity were factual and needed to be shown, I did find it an extremely confronting movie but, I couldn't recommend it to anyone more. It's one of the must see movies of the 21st century.

Fire Island was a free zone for the gay community for sex, drugs and disco, and continues to remain as a memorial to all who lost their life due to the AIDS virus. Back before it was known as HIV, "the gay cancer" brutally murdered innocent young men who only knew about sexually transmitted diseases discussed in their high school health classes, and many of them were barely in college, let alone grown up. Along with "And the Band Played On", this drama about the early years takes an unflinching, unapologetic look at those early years. Featuring Julia Roberts as a wheelchair bound doctor fighting to discover what is killing gay men, this also casts many actors, best known for their stage roles, a few who have moved onto the big or small screens, but put their hearts in contributing to this outstanding film version of the controversial play. Fighting against the bigotry and often closeted politicians of the early 198O's, this doesn't shirk in exposing the sexual freedoms of the times, featuring complete male nudity and obvious simulated sex that was obviously unsafe. This dramatizes the issues within the gay community itself as well as understandable prejudices that plagued them through heterosexual fear and even social outcasts within the community itself. Some of the gay men are presented as bitchy or overly effeminate, but that doesn't dilute the impact of their suffering. With an allegedly gay New York mayor and a president who had gay friends yet did nothing to solve this crisis, AIDS had no reason to infect as many people straight or gay, as long as it did.A scene in a disco where a fund-raiser is going on really hits the emotional cord by showing the determined ailing men covered in Kaposi's blotches, unable to dance to "I Will Survive" yet determined to go on as long as they can, even if it's just another couple of hours. Ghostly visions, pleading for one last moment with their beloved pet and pleading with family members for acceptance and compassion are dramatized with a plainly made up Roberts tough but filled with compassion. Young lovers watching their partner suffer and ultimately pass on. Sharing those few moments they have left, yet paranoid over being abandoned. This shows it all. Superb makeup artistry shows the deterioration of healthy, handsome men who turn into barely walking skeletons.Among the superb cast are Jim Parsons who makes a funeral speech that sums it up for hundreds of thousands, Danielle Ferland as a woman volunteer at the gay men's health crisis who lost her best friend just hours before, Alfred Molina as an attorney who promises to help his gay brother yet is filled with prejudices and fears that he can't escape from. One truly haunting moment shows a mother's reaction to her son's death, something I had to see at several memorial services For those of us old enough to remember this era and still suffering from the memory of losing a loved one, we sit nearby those empty chairs at empty tables, grateful to be alive yet longing to once again hug those we loved and lost. I came out after seeing the early AIDS drama "Parting Glances" and dealt with my share of loss with friends and lovers, some whose deaths I only found out about recently. 35 years later, I find that I am out of tears. Fortunately, that number is decreasing, but this shows some of the horrific experience experiences that the world suffered through. At times hard to take, like "Schindler's List", this shows what we must not go through again.

The privileged may see this story as a triumph, but for the the poor, minorities and such, it's nearly completely inaccessible. The roles include the powerful, or at least are connected to the powerful. They are upwardly mobile, or they are overachievers. In any case, the gay characters' primary sorrows are medical. Gather a group of white heterosexuals debating vulnerability to, say, any venereal disease and you have an analogue to this movie. While the performances are compelling (with myopic social relevance) they refuse to engage the complexities of those who are excluded because of education, economic, or racial difference.. There is none of the cultural communication awkwardness that freights and slows conversations when classes interact. Would this movie have even been produced before 2020 if the players were African American, Latino, or white underclass? Perhaps, but only at a small-budget independent film level.

The Normal Heart isn't my first HIV/AIDS focused movie. I watched and shed several tears during Philadelphia and I sobbed through the end of Dallas Buyers Club, but as potent and meaningful as those two films were, neither hit me half as hard as the TV film adaptation of The Normal Heart. I think this is due in part to the fact that The Normal Heart is written by a man who lived through the very crisis at the heart of the story and that the semi-autobiographical leanings of the screenplay lend a certain gravitas and authenticity to the film. The fact that a gay man, Ryan Murphy, directed The Normal Heart and that the film starred several known gay actors like Matt Bomer and Jim Parsons also added to the reality of what I was seeing. These people aren't just playing at being gay or being affected by the issues highlighted in the film – these men are living in a world directly affected and shaped by the events taking place in the story and that somehow packed a significantly greater punch.I couldn't watch The Normal Heart in one sitting. It was too much. Mark Ruffalo is outstanding in his role as Ned Weeks (a fictionalized Larry Kramer) and the monologues he delivers in the film whether to his brother, lover, friends or enemies, often had me choked up with ineffable emotion, overwhelmed by the bitter desperation in his pleas for those around him to take note of their plight. What left me the most destroyed after watching this film was the relationship between Ned and his one true love, Felix Turner – played by the beautiful Matt Bomer. Why does it matter that he's beautiful? Because we see a healthy, young and exquisite man wither and die on screen and that physical transformation in itself was shocking and devastating. (Kudos to Matt Bomer for risking his health to drop 40 pounds for the role). But the physical ramifications of the disease weren't nearly as eviscerating as the emotional journey for these two characters coming from very different backgrounds: Felix has an ex-wife and son who he is not allowed to see, but despite that has still allowed himself to love and form committed relationships with men, while Ned is blatant about his sexuality yet emotionally repressed to the point of denying himself any emotional connection, preferring nameless one-night hook-ups. In the words of Felix:Men do not naturally not love. They learn not to.It's only when Ned meets Felix – again – that Ned allows himself to love, which of course results in tragedy when Felix is diagnosed with AIDS. Watching their relationship unfold in a candid portrayal of how the disease physically progresses – seriously, little is left to the imagination – as well as the psychological and emotional affects on these lovers and those around them, didn't just bring me to tears, but actually made me nauseated, as I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to watch one of my loved ones disappear in front of me without being able to do anything about it.Doomed love story aside, this film is about the triumph of the human spirit and the determination, preservation and dedication of people like Ned Weeks who eventually helped make the HIV/AIDS crisis a top national priority, resulting in better education and medical care for all sufferers of the disease, gender and sexuality aside. If I have any criticisms of this film it's that I could've done with a bit less politicking and a lot more emphasis on the development of Ned and Felix's relationship. I know that wasn't the point or focus of the story, but things seemed to progress quickly and largely off-screen when I really wanted to see their love grow and witness more of how it affected these characters in the midst of the health crisis. Suffice it to say, I am so glad this play was made into a film otherwise I might never have known it existed. As hard as this film is to watch, I strongly recommend it. There is nothing glamorous about The Normal Heart, but it is extremely brave and honest, which is why I will be taking shares out in Kleenex and rewatching this film again and again.