The Wicker Man (2013)

This movie is excellent and i question the motives of some of the reviewers here giving it only 1-2 stars. Are they reviewing the right version of this movie? The music MADE the movie and so did the actors and extras. There is a level of normalcy here that is actually very creepy. Nothing supernatural happens. It is psychological horror done almost as a musical. There is no movie quite like it. If you don't like it, there just might be something wrong with you!

There are so many weird things in this film and it is so different, I give it a pass despite being unintentionally comical at times, the confused message it conveys(if a message intended) and the inappropriate use of music(except the climax of the film) that reminded me of Silent Running (1972). I am actually more annoyed by the film than I like it. Because I see a huge opportunity missed here. This film could have been a great criticism of religions. But instead, it chooses the opposite almost. Although it is never spelled directly, our protagonist is portrayed as a moral model, thus Christianity as the true religion as opposed to paganism. In one scene, our good christian policeman, fully uniformed in his officers, scatters some pagan symbolism or offering in anger, then proceeds to create a makeshift cross from some pieces of wood on the same altar. How dumb! It could have really been a masterpiece if its message had matched its weirdness. One other major flaw of the film is that the protagonists behaviour doesn't match the situations that he is in. He was in numerous instances that he should have been alarmed and felt thereatened and unsafe. But he chooses to peacefully sleep when a lot of suspicious things going on around him, instead of trying to call for help. Again, dumb! And when I say dumb, I don't mean the character, he is dumb too of course, as a result. But at the end, the filmed served its purpose as a horror movie and it is really a different and weird film, I can't complain about any clichés and that is saying a lot when it's the horror genre. So I think it worths watching at least once.

This movie sure gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "burning pig."Now that we have tasteless "jokes" out of the way let's unwrap this literal Celtic straw man.The most powerful part for me was the end with the cop (Edward Woodward) praying to his Christian God while the people outside were praying to their Celtic Neopagan gods and the flick ending with a close-up on the sun that, if anthropomorphized, would probably say "these primates must be crazy." The amount of sheer loneliness and helplessness the cop must have felt during his last minutes on Earth had to be beyond excruciating.God, those over-abundant sing-along muscial-y interludes were more dreadful than the whole "human sacrifice" shebang though. Sure, it gave the movie a "creepy" feeling and culminated wonderfully in the last scene of the movie but other than that it was pure torture. Just watching the movie should be enough to bring harvest to at least a thousand Neopagan island societies.Now there is not much to say about the rest of the movie which felt like a regular episode out of a generic contemporary Bri'ish TV cop drama. It all started with "harmless" police-obstructing activities of fun pranks and pub jokes and feigning ignorance with good-spirited quasi-hippie songs slipped here and there and eventually getting to the surreal David Lynchian tipping point and afterwards it was clowning around in jester costumes and then some. Suffice to say this stubborn cop wasn't exactly an exemplary Sherlock Holmes but your typical uptight stubborn fascist bureaucrat in a state security suit who no wonder ended up trapped on the island. Now now, I realize that the movie wasn't ever supposed to be about a cunning detective cracking bizarre homicide cold case and have "boys down the station" giving them a congratulatory pat on the back and being ordered a knight/dame by the Queen herself afterwards but more about one of Queen Elizabeth's Finest thinking he can arrest the entire "heathen" island alone while not seeing the obvious that's in front of him but nevertheless, color me curious, what would S.H. do? I am sure he would successfully turn the gullible villages against Summerisle himself since Watson would meanwhile fetch all the evidence villagers needed to see to be convinced (the poor copper didn't have anything on him except his fool(ish) costume) and wrapping it up perfectly by appearing at the Summerisle estate with Summerisle completely flabbergasted, the old dog. And instead of a borderline cynical close-up shot of the careless sun we would have a tender intimate close-up of Watson acting all incredulous "b-but how did you know that Rowan was on it all along?" with Holmes confidently responding "The E-word, my dear Watson."Now, the overall theme is kinda dated and fits shlocky B-flicks that are based on the "us modern civilized upright Christian citizens" vs. "creepy weird tribes and hidden retrograde cults" trope and the entertainment and cheap shock derived from this clash of values. This type of "spooky children-of-the-corn cult thriller" genre, and particularly this movie, can be interpreted multiple ways: * We can see it as a silly oversimplification of polytheist/nature worship religions, plus putting a "spooky" spin to it -- and considering from the historical standpoint that the 1970s WAS basically the golden age of cults we could take it as a jab at these cults but with an awkward blend of basic imagery from these innocuous nature religions, showing them in a negative light by association. * Another could be taken as good ol' Christian-leaning British conseravative pandering ("See how barbarous are these creepy pagans? You ought to be glad to be in good company of Jesus Christ & friends & The Queen, innit"). * Another as an English director painting fictitious Scottish villagers the same way some Yankee director from New York comes to shoot a spooky thriller in the south where they show Southern fellows engaged in simplistic gun-totin' Bible-thumpin' moonshine-brewin' endeavors. * Another as an egalitarian poke at all religions because it doesn't matter how innocent or "righteous" it is, at the end of the day when the sun goes down you are still going to look foolish (like a jester; that was a good one, Robin Hardy) when you think a "prayer" or a "human sacrifice" will grant you a bountiful harvest - but, God forbid, if you don't try, right?Now, The Wicker Man is a smorgasbord of all the above; it could work well as a religious satire (and it does) as well as a "spooky thriller" and also a dated critique of cults in general. Whatever the case, it was a fun movie. Chilly setting, sly villain, dense cop, 70s hairy humans, what else to wish for? Well, actually nothing, I don't wish to watch this movie again.* * * "And on that bed there was a girl And on that girl there was a man And from that man there was a seed And from that seed there was a boy And from that boy there was a man And for that man there was a grave From that grave there grew ... a tree"

Traveling to a secretive island, a mainland police detective investigating a child abduction case finds the locals practice a pagan-like religion that hinders his quest as the more he reveals about it the gradual realization of his appearance there is revealed and must stop it from happening.This here was quite the fun if a really flawed effort. One of the few problems here is the fact that there are some really bland and unappealing folk songs throughout here that just make this one feel overlong and quite bland. The numerous musical interludes really overwhelm this one as they're not that good and really don't offer up much of anything for the film other than getting in some nice innuendo, but on the whole it's not that appealing to stop the film cold to feature yet another suggestive local song-and-dance that's already mentioned before or to have an utterly obnoxious folklore tune continually play out. There's also a rather big problem here with the central mystery that unfolds here, simply providing a series of behavior that he finds weird only due to the contrast against the Christian ideologies he keeps spouting off yet none of these events really have much of a horror or even suspense setup as their standoff-ish behavior and mysterious rituals don't have any building suspense. The whole first hour plays out like a sardonic fish-out-of-water tale rather than any kind of macabre overview of a horror film as it boils down to a continuous series of run-ins with free-spirited folks who stonewall his investigations and scoff as his views of their practices which really hinders the film somewhat. There's still a lot to like here despite these issues, as there's a wicked air under the surface here as the weirdness of their transgressions slowly reveals far more menacing tones. The way it shows their attention to the pagan religion spurning his efforts with their brazen worship of paganism iconography and symbolism, the lax attitude to sexuality that shows copious couplings in public spaces, nude worshipping practices and the induction of children into sexually explicit conversations which are then thrown back at him with a rather easy-going dismissal that works a rather involving mystery here as they overlay these with the slowly unfolding mystery about the girl. This is certainly aiding nicely with the events of the finale which is undoubtedly the highlight here with the absolutely crazy ritual procession through the town as the garish costumes and jovial dancing creates some fully impressive sequence which comes off nicely alongside the central twist here that makes for a truly harrowing and cruel twist that really works well here. That gives this a considerable amount of good parts over the flaws, and along with the fine nudity throughout gives this a lot to really enjoy about this one.Rated R: Full Nudity, Violence, Language, some sexual conduct and intense themes of children-in-jeopardy.