Mannequin (1987)

I recall seeing Mannequin during it's original release and not thinking very highly of it. In the subsequent 30+ years I've spoken with several friends and acquaintances who have expressed great affection for it, so much that I decided I needed to give it another look. I'm happy for all of those who love Mannequin, but for me it still doesn't work. It's even sillier and more poorly executed than I remember. The cast is talented enough but under this direction none of their performances work or lend any credibility to what is kind of a cute story. Unfortunately, I am still not a fan of Mannequin.

What a flashback to the Hollywood days of old. Where sexual harassment is accepted, homophobia sometimes okay and miracles with almost zero explanation can be dismissed in seconds.It's hard to criticize a movie like Mannequin. Sure, it's crazy, goof- ball and would never happen back then or now, but it was a light- hearted, fantasy of love across…the ages? At least it wasn't as dark as other mannequin stories like I Know Who Killed Me and 2012's Maniac. Basically, the ALWAYS lovely Kim Cattrall wishes for something more in Ancient Egypt and the gods fast forward her a few times over the millennia to finally land with Andrew "Jonathan" McCarthy. Only, she's trapped in a mannequin's form so no one but Jonathan can see her. Oh, and he falls in love with her and because others see her as a stiff, pure antics ensue.It's cute, it's harmless – well, except for said un-PC themes mentioned above and best of all, it gave the world one of the best movie songs of all time: 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' by Starship.Sorry, lest I forget, it also provided the outrageously fabulous Hollywood character in which Jonathan was the straight man of the duo. Um, no pun…? Definitely worth a watch if you loved it back then or for the first time today. It still holds up, if you just remember one simple rule: this was made in and is 100% pure 80s. ***Final thoughts: I mentioned homophobia above, and some of the characters are, though one might be closeted, himself. But, it was refreshing to see how Jonathan and Meshach "Hollywood" Taylor took to each other very nicely. Plus, Jonathan, who barely knew Hollywood early on and most certainly not as good friends with him until later, completely defends gays while making a statement against bigots. That was nice to see a stand in a 80s movie that could've very well taken the stance: "Well, that's just the world we live in."Additionally, I wonder if True Blood's Nelsan Ellis got even a little bit of inspiration for his Lafayette Reynolds character from Hollywood. Hmmm

Emmy (Kim Cattrall) was born in 2514BC Egypt. Her family wanted her to be married off to a camel dung dealer. She wished for a different life and the gods send her soul into a modern day mannequin. Jonathan Switcher (Andrew McCarthy) can't hold onto a job. It takes him three days to make a mannequin. When he saves an old lady (Estelle Getty), it turns out that she's the owner of a failing department store. She gives Jonathan a job, and he's reunited with the magic mannequin that turns into Emmy when he's alone with him.This is cheesy 80's flic. It's got all the silly moments. James Spader is the ridiculously sleazy executive trying to torpedo the store. G.W. Bailey is the ridiculously stupid night watchman. Steve Vinovich is the ridiculously evil owner of the competition. And Meshach Taylor is the ridiculously over the top gay Hollywood. It's bad smelly cheese. But it's heart is in the right place. So I won't completely destroy this. Go ahead and just enjoy the smelly cheese.

If I were ever to be truly embarrassed about any of my entries into the Childhood Memories Project, it would be this simply disastrous excuse of a movie. It was shown mid-afternoon in the early days of Channel 5 one day, and my granddad thought to record it for me, along with another bizarre and semi-obscure entry into the 1980's comedy genre, FEDS (1988). I can't remember if I even liked the film, but I remember watching it repeatedly. Maybe I was drawn to the simple-minded and childish comedy, played out over some extremely dodgy 80's electro-pop. Or perhaps it was Kim Cattrall, looking beautiful before she starred as upper-class slut Samantha in Sex in the City (1998-2004), stirring some pre-pubescent feelings inside of me. I like to think the latter is true.Ancient Egyptian princess Emmy (Cattrall) hides from her mother who wants her to marry against her will. After praying to the Gods for rescue, she in transported through time on a quest for true love. Meanwhile, young mannequin-manufacturer Jonathan Switcher (Andrew McCarthy) is sacked for taking too long on the job, he drifts between jobs while trying to keep his demanding girlfriend Roxie (Carole Davis) happy. One night he spots his greatest mannequin creation - in the image of Emmy - in the window of the failing Prince & Company, ran by Claire Timkin (Estelle Getty) and the slimy Richards (James Spader). After saving Claire from a bizarre accident, he is given a job as a stock boy. One night, Emmy comes to life and enchants Jonathan, inspiring him to create a window display that attracts a large audience.I don't really know how to write a serious review of Mannequin after just typing that plot synopsis. The bull-s**t story and lack of any remote explanation aside, the film is nothing but clichéd, childish humour, and a fairytale romance aimed at mentally numb teenage girls. The truly creepy idea that Jonathan is in love with a plastic mannequin is simply justified by his outlandish co-worker Hollywood (Meshach Taylor) being 'weirder'. He is gay and camp, after all! There is also a gaping plot-hole that begs that question as to why Jonathan doesn't just take the mannequin home with him, therefore ruling out the need to sneak around under the nose of psychopathic security man Felix (G.W. Bailey) and his dog Rambo. It would have also been a reason to avoid 90 minutes (and hours of my childhood!) of sheer drivel.www.the-wrath-of-blog.blogspot.com