Martyrs (2016)

I wish I could review this movie without comparing with the original, but I don't see how I could do that. As often is the case when Americans attempt to remake movies from other countries, they fail. Such is certainly the case here. Although the directors tried to make the excuse that they was re- imagining rather than remaking, they obviously failed to understand what made the french original so extraordinary. There is no depth to the characters in this version. The directors fail to make me feel for the protagonists. In fact they fail to make me feel anything at all. The long and cruel journey of the protagonist is completely lost.I don't see the point in the use of excessive violence or gore for the sake of chock in movies. The original version of Martyrs was gory and violent but it was not included for the chock value. The explicit cruelty had meaning, to make the audience understand the suffering of the main character and the amazing ending. This version is more of a family friendly action movie in comparison, and in reducing the most of the violence and cruelty, the movie completely loses the impact of the original. Even more annoying is the assumption that Americans are stupid and need everything explained in detail. Whereas the original made me think and feel and not forget, this version did not affect me at all, and in the moment of writing I'm already forgetting it. Had I not seen the original I probably would not say it's not a terrible movie, just bland. But having seen the French masterpiece, this version certainly is terrible in comparison.So to summarize: If you want to see a good movie, watch the French 2008 original! And if you have already seen that, then watch it again instead of this mess.

I went into this movie thinking, there is no way this can possibly be as bad as people are saying. The original was so compelling, that there is no way that you could screw it up correct? Sadly I was wrong. I could forgive the film makers for having less violence than the original and instead focusing more on the dread; but they tried so hard and still managed to make this movie less filled with dread. We care far less for these characters than in the original. They telegraphed the fact that in the first half of the movie one of the characters was just seeing things that weren't there, which was genuinely shocking and hard to predict in the original. The main villain actress in this one was terrible beyond terrible at acting; did they just cast a friend of the family as a favor or something? And the end...don't get me started. The original had one of the most haunting and devastating endings I have ever seen before. The new one completely missed the point of the original's ending and instead decides to go with basically the exact opposite. To put it nicely, I hated this movie. I would have given it a 1, but those ratings are strictly reserved for Uwe Boll movies. You really have to try to make a movie worse than Uwe Boll movies. This remake is deserving of one step above that.

I have to start off by saying that I believe that the French version of the film is the most depression, soul-wretchingly horrific movie I have ever seen in my life. It is a masterpiece in the use of atmosphere, nuance, and tact in horror film-making, and will most likely not be topped as a horror film for quite some time. This Blumhouse version is NONE OF THAT. Imagine if someone told you that France has the best burger you have ever tasted. You want to eat it so bad, but you don't want to travel to France or learn to read the menu at the restaurant because you are lazy. You wait for an American chef to create the same burger, but the meat is dry, it has no lettuce, tomatoes or pickles, and the condiments lack taste. That is exactly what you are getting with this remake. It is tasteless, like New York BBQ is tasteless compared to Texas BBQ. Like Taco Bell is compared to REAL Mexican Tacos. It lacks any redeemable elements that would make it palatable for anyone over the age of 14, and who has a more refined palette. It is simply a hollow imitation of the French film. It tries so hard to shock and disturb, but in the end, it just makes you feel sorry for everyone involved. People woke up and went to work for this. They have their names attached to the credits. It will be a film they will be forced to use on their resume. It just makes me sad that production companies like Blumhouse can outright spit on real artistry in the name of profit margins. Blumhouse, you are the worst thing to happen to horror movies since the advent of Found-footage. You have ruined one of the most definitive horror experiences since The Exorcist, and your whole company should be ashamed of yourselves.This film was absolute garbage and an insult to horror films. We will never speak of it again, and never within the same sentence as the original. A complete and utter failure, it should not be seen by anyone. It is, without a doubt, one of the worst films ever made, regardless of genre.

"Horror" for feeble-minded, vegetarian children. That is what this hollower-than-thou exercise in redundancy is. The funny thing is that the absolutely worthless directors behind this abomination calls this a re-imagining and not a remake. Let's face it, even though it's not a shot-by-shot remake, it still reeks to high heaven with the stink of remake all over it. But hey, by all means, call it a re-imagining instead and see if replacing a word with another actually makes any difference at all. Yeah, if you "reimagine", it almost sounds like you have genuine artistic vision and integrity. What a joke. The really sad thing is that this feeble filth would never have been made in the first place if Pascal Laugier hadn't had a momentary lapse of reason. Instead he decided in an absolute fit of ( greedy? ) insanity that his pearly vision of wounds and nothingness should be fondled and mangled by swinish hands, his diamond turned into simple glass.From deep existential philosophy in the spirit of Bataille, themes of the wordless suffering behind our words, non- knowledge in the immanent to this; a Hallmark soap-opera pretending to actually have a truly horrifying impact?!! Ha, ha,just sad. What the hell was he thinking?!!Every single aspect of this stillborn deformity is without any worth whatsoever, the perfected darkness you felt throughout the original is completely absent here, the profound suffering that screamed at you from every frame in the original is here replaced with cardboard characters, middle-of-the road actors that you know just puts on a momentary show of pain. Pain made palatable for the brain-dead children, pain made presentable enough to sell tickets. No real substance and no real darkness to be found here. Move on.In short, the one and only Martyrs was made in 2008. End of.