The Cottage (2008)

If you like horror and comedy, this should be right up your street. Very enjoyable movie. I am a horror fan Dating back as far as the late 60s and this movie is in my top ten Shaun of the dead is better. but this just has something special in the location and story line. Remember it is a movie to enjoy you will love it if you are a true horror fan.

Bit of a surprise here as despite the suggestions of gore on the DVD box, this began much as expected as a low budget UK film with buffoon like characters botching up a rather ridiculous kidnap attempt. Andy Serkis is great as the lead loon and although many have expressed dislike at Jennifer Ellison's performance as the victim, I thought she was rather good, although I see she has made no more movies. Beginning then as some sort of TV film of a crazy messed up kidnap, this suddenly swerves into a full scale slasher spoof with an amazing amount of very nasty (though still amusing) gory effects. And beneath it all, instead of some polite little London clubland dispute we have a major Texas Chainsaw dimension horror (though just still maintaining some level of humour). Great effort and if the first part went on longer than it might and subsequently the gore section also seemed on the verge of outstaying its welcome, it is clear there is a film maker of some stature at work here and we shall see more. Hard one to pull off, horror and comedy.

Two brothers kidnap a girl and travel to some country cottage. She's the daughter of some strip joint owner. Her brother is in on it and is supposed to deliver the cash to them. Instead they get a bag full of tissues. And the boss sends two Asian hit men after them.But everything that can go wrong does go wrong. She frees herself and kidnaps the dumb brother, and escape to a farm next door. Suddenly some crazy deformed guy shows up and starts killing everyone. It turns out that after an hour of seriously stupid "comedy" this movie remembered that it's supposed to be a horror movie.The first hour is insufferable, I ended up fast-forwarding a good part of it because it's just pointless and moronic. One of the brothers is supposed to be the smart one, the other is dumb, and the brother of the girl is an idiot. The two hit men are goofs who for no reason kidnapped also some guy and drove him out to the country. Problem is that none of the humor is remotely funny.The horror part at least is gory. The deformed farmer has killed a bunch of people, and has stored their heads and faces and limbs all over his house. At least the ending is alright and unexpected. But what a screw-up the whole idea of this movie is. The "comedy" might be funny to 7 year-olds but then it gets very gory. Who exactly did they think would like this movie? Not horror fans and I doubt people who want to laugh appreciate the brutality and gore. This movie gets a generous 3 for the cool gore.

For 4 years it was laying on the shelve 'not seen' at my place. finally i had a look at it and I must say that it enjoyed me a lot. As a comedy it doesn't fulfill but as a horror it does deliver.Due it rather started as a crime flick it quickly turns into a comedy when the hijacked girl Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) goes berserk and turns against the hijackers Peter (Reece Shearsmith), the nerd and David (Andy Serkis), the brain. From there on you can't see what's coming and slowly it turns into a gory flick. If you just can stand the first 10 minutes then you're into a nice flick.But it is the combination of Tracey, Peter and David that works here in this flick. They all gave a sublime acting and it's weird to see that Jennifer stopped also in 2008 with acting. Of course Reece already came from a comedy/horror Shaun Of The Dead (2004). Andy of course we knew from doing voice overs for the ape Ceasar in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011) and in TinTin (2011) as the Hadock voice. Don't go watching it for the icon Doug Bradley, he's only a few minutes in it. But do watch it for the gore and funny situations. ExcellentGore 3/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 4/5 Story 4/5 Comedy 1/5