Men Don't Leave (1990)

Released in early 1990 and directed by Paul Brickman, "Men Don't Leave" is a drama with comedic elements about a mother (Jessica Lange) and two sons who lose their husband/father and must move to Baltimore to make it and overcome their grief. Chris O'Donnell plays the teenage son while Joan Cusack appears as his older girlfriend, an x-ray technician. Arliss Howard is on hand as a potential beau for the mother, a musician. Kathy Bates plays her new boss, the manager of a gourmet bakery.This movie's tragic, odd, dramatic, funny and inspirational, just like life. It respects the intelligence of the viewer as everything's not always spelled out. Roger Ebert complained about the predictability of the mother's meet-cute with the musician, which may be true, but he overlooked the many UNpredictable and offbeat elements of the movie, like the teen's relationship with the medical technician and her interesting relationship arc with the mother. He also complained about the film's depiction of clinical depression and its supposedly trite antidote, but – speaking as someone who suffered severe depression in the past; and overcame it without "meds" – this simply isn't true. Both the depiction and the remedy are real-to-life; the portrayal is sad with some realistic humor and inspiration thrown into the mix. What did he want? Her to take a pill and everything would be hunky-dory? The best thing for a person who's suffering depression is to get them out of the darkness of the bedroom and into the light of day; get them talking; give them something active to DO; and help them set some realistic goals that they can immediately start working toward, not to mention encourage some close, positive relationships, and discourage negative ones. The movie effectively shows this. The film runs 115 minutes and was shot in Baltimore, Maryland, and Illinois & Michigan Canal National Heritage Corridor, Illinois.GRADE: B-

I have not seen the 1981 French film, La Vie Continue, which inspired this story, but thank goodness it did. This is one of the best cinematic hidden gems off all time. No, that is not an understatement. Seventeen years after being one of the few to see this film in a theater, I was fortunate enough to locate a VHS copy and have found that this it has aged perfectly. Bittersweet without being cloying, evenly-paced without dragging, it is the perfect antidote to the summer blockbuster season for those who don't necessarily consider "pulsating" a selling-point for a film.Jessica Lange once said in an interview that many people have told her this is their favorite film of hers. (She sums it up as "a happy movie about grief and depression.") She's great in it, as is a scene-stealing Joan Cusack and Charlie Korsmo as her younger son. But also given a chance to shine are the minor characters, some oddball musicians Lange's character meets and a then-unknown (but about to be known) Kathy Bates. (Credit also goes to screenwriter Barbara Benedek for their well crafted words.)This film has aged much better than Paul Brickman's only other directorial effort, Risky Business. One would never think the director of THAT could come up with a polar opposite like this, but fortunately he did. The fact that this is not on DVD is CRIMINAL!

I like this film. Jessica Lange is very good as a wife/mom of two sons. She abruptly finds herself a widow after her husband dies in a work related accident. This is a woman who is used to having a partner to help deal with family life & issues & suddenly everything is on her shoulders. She's deep in debt & overwhelmed. (The adorable) Chris O'Donnell is great as the older boy, playing a typical bratty teenager arguing with Lange over choices & decisions she must now make. He's very convincing in a scene with Arliss Howard, later in the film, that shows just how much his mom means to him. Charlie Korsmo is the younger, more agreeable boy. Yet he's filled with many issues, underneath the surface, dealing with his dad's death & their relocation to Baltimore. He takes to a new buddy's home life because he misses the conventional family he was used to, much to Lange's dismay as she tries desperately to keep her family together. Joan Cusack plays a quirky, domineering neighbor & "older woman" interested in O'Donnell. A leaner than usual Kathy Bates (almost unrecognizable because she's all farpitzed with makeup, trendy clothes & hairstyle) plays Lange's bitchy, bitter boss when she must now enter the workplace. Arliss Howard is also on hand as a love interest for Lange. Not that much emphasis is placed on their relationship because the main focus of the film is on Lange & her son's. Now for that title. IMO it can be taken two ways, as a plea or a statement. "Men Don't Leave" because you're family needs you, or "Men Don't Leave" a family's mind's & hearts after they've gone.

This is my absolute favorite movie. The quiet story of a young widow coping with the loss of her husband and a move to the big city is tender, humorous and hopeful. Fine performances by Jessica Lange, Chris O'Donnell (in his first screen role), Kathy Bates, Arliss Howard and Joan Cusack round out this film. Casting is perfect in every sense and the emotion of the movie is carried well by a haunting score. One of my favorite scenes has Lange arriving unannounced at Howard's home. Her sadness is palpable and his gift - a trip to the Polka hall, where she loses herself in a wild dance with a waitress, while he sits in with the band - is moving. There is such a sense of hope, generosity and goodness in this movie. It is not at all maudlin, or contrived. Just a wonderful exploration of the darkness of grief and unwelcome change, and the love and support sometimes found in unexpected places. There are also great comedic moments, chiefly involving O'Donnell and Cusack. See this movie!